Never the Same
by Wonder and Ashes
Summary: Once upon a time a Slayer and a Vampire fell in love. Buffy thinks it's BS. Spike thinks it's an impossible dream.
1. Chapter 1: A Hero to Save Us All

**Disclaimer**: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Chapter Notes**: This is a response to a challenge on _Elysian Fields_.

I've been meaning to respond to this challenge for a while, but never had the motivation to write it - until I watched _The New Legends of Monkey_ on Netflix. I enjoyed it so much I ended up, uh, "borrowing" the two main leads for this fic. You don't need to watch the show in order to read this story. I've only used their character traits and physical character designs - I've given them different names and everything - and that's all I originally intended, but then other familiar faces from the show (again, with different names) started making cameo appearances, and I used some of the dialogue too... Basically what I'm saying is, I don't think this counts as a crossover, but if you think it does then let me know and I can tag it as that. There are clips on YouTube if you want to know how the two characters look and sound.

Also, this story is going to be told from different points of view; Buffy's, Spike's, and from the two original characters. And I switch back and forth within the chapters. I haven't marked out who's who, because it was distracting and I feel like their voices are distinctive enough that you can tell, but let me know if you get confused.

* * *

_You see, it's easy to ignore trouble _

_when you're living in a bubble…_

~ _Ain't it Fun_ by Paramore

* * *

I don't work at the Magic Box, so it's not my job to greet customers – unless those customers are of the evil demon variety. Then I greet them with a stake to the heart, or a beheading, or whatever way that kills them.

That's why, when the bell jingles as the door opens, I don't pay the visitor any mind. Besides, I'm too busy trying to stop the argument between Willow and Anya, coming to poor Xander's rescue.

Giles, who a few seconds ago had walked away muttering about getting an earlier return flight back from England, addresses her with traditional British politeness. (If I hadn't met Spike or even Travers, I'd be convinced that every British person was required by law to be polite to everyone they meet.) "Can I help you?"

"Yes," I hear the voice say. A young woman, from the sounds of her. She has an accent, too; either Australian or New Zealand, I can't tell. I still don't look her way – at least, not until I hear her next words. "I'm looking for Buffy the Vampire Slayer?"

The shop falls silent and everyone at the table turns towards the new arrival.

My first impression is that she's around my age, until I look into her brown eyes. They appear older than the rest of her, like they've seen more than twenty years of life, but not in the same way mine do when I sometimes look in the mirror. She doesn't appear to be hardened or broken by what she's experienced; there's a smile on her face and a warm spark in her eyes I find myself envious of.

Her long, messy hair is dark (I can't tell if it's black or a very dark brown) and her skin tone is slightly darker than ours. I recall a family trip to Hawaii, back when Dad actually cared about us and long before I discovered that vampires were real; she looks a bit like the locals there, and remembering her accent, I guess that she's likely from New Zealand. Or at least one of the Pacific Islands.

She's wearing a red button-up jumper and a blue V-neck shirt underneath, along with a pair of blue jeans that have probably seen better days. Her sneakers don't look much better. I notice a silver cross hanging around her neck, visible above her shirt. Her backpack hangs slightly to the side, one strap over her shoulder while the other swings loosely.

Her gaze finds me, and her smile widens before she crosses the room and stands before me. "Hello, Buffy. It's so good to finally meet you."

I get to my feet. "You know who I am?" I blurt out. It shouldn't be surprising that I'm pretty well-known, and it's not the first time I've met someone who already knows who I am, but this woman…feels different than the others. I can't put my finger on why, but the feeling is a familiar one.

"I've been having dreams about you," she says. "You're in trouble, and I've come to help."

Dreams. Trouble. She must know about Glory, but what does she mean about dreams? "Who are you? Are you a seer, or something?"

"Or something." She holds out her hand. "I'm Kiri, the Vampire Slayer."

…Another Slayer?

In the seconds that follow, my thoughts hit me all at once, fighting one another as I try and piece things together. I know I would've been told if Faith had died, and while she looks my age, this woman appears to be older than me in the way she carries herself. I died and came back, when I faced the Master and drowned. I can't have been the only Slayer ever to be revived. There's been so many Slayers since the First Slayer…

Those seconds are all I have to process the revelation, because the next thing I know, Giles lets out one of his, "Oh, good lord!" exclamations before reaching behind the counter and pulling out a crossbow. Huh, that escalated quickly.

"You keep that with the money?!" Anya protests. Then, after a second of thought, "Actually, that's a good idea. If anyone ever tries to rob us, I can just shoot them in the face."

"Anya!" Xander looks like he's about to tell his girlfriend that she can't just shoot random people in the face with an arrow (even if those people are trying to steal her well-earned cash), but then he seems to remember the situation, so keeps quiet.

"Buffy, get away from her," says Giles.

I don't move, and wonder what the hell has gotten into my Watcher. This woman is a Slayer. Why is he going to kill her? Is she a bad Slayer like Faith? She looks friendly enough… "Why?"

"She's a vampire," says Giles. "Her name is Kiri Alatini; she was turned eighteen years ago during her Cruciamentum. She killed her Watcher. The Council has a bounty on her head, and standing orders for any Slayer who encounters her to kill her on sight."

Xander pulls out a cross and holds it in her direction, but he's the only one of my friends who reacts with hostility. Tara is frowning in confusion, Willow is looking between us all with uncertainty, and Anya looks like she's still daydreaming about killing shoplifters with the crossbow.

I frown and look from Giles back to Kiri; she's dropped her hand and looks annoyed, but not in the guilty sense. It's more of a 'I've heard this all before and I'm getting sick of it' sense. I turn back to my Watcher. "But Giles, I'm not tingly. No vampire tingles here."

"Mr. Giles…" Tara speaks up. "Her aura isn't dark. It's light, like Buffy's. And if she was a vampire, how did she get here?" She points towards the door and the great big patch of sunlight on the floor beside it.

"She didn't pull a Spike when she came in here," Willow adds. "No blanket over her head, and she wasn't on fire. She didn't even run in; just walked."

I'm surprised Willow even noticed this, since she'd been arguing with Anya when the woman had entered the shop. Giles doesn't look convinced, and keeps the crossbow pointed at Kiri. Xander leans further forwards with the wooden cross in his hands, moving it towards her face; like he's testing her resolve. Before I can tell him to knock it off and stop being rude, Kiri takes it from him. It doesn't burn her hand.

"Honey, she's wearing one around her neck," Anya points out, and Xander gives a weak chuckle to hide his stupid moment. Anya reaches into her purse and pulls out a small vial. "I've got some Holy Water. Would you please hold still so I can pour it over your head?"

The woman chuckles. "No need." She reaches forwards and takes the vial, before removing the lid and drinking from it. She doesn't explode from the inside, or start choking.

Giles lowers his crossbow. "She could have something that protects her from harm. Something like the Gem of Amara."

"I thought you said the gem was one of a kind?" asks Willow.

A thought occurs to me, and I take Kiri's wrist. I turn it over and press my fingers against her pulse point. What I feel confirms what I know.

"She has a heartbeat," I tell everyone. "She's human."

"But…" Giles drops the crossbow onto the counter, takes off his glasses and cleans them thoroughly. "It can't be possible. She looks no older than any of you, and yet she should be no less than thirty-six years old."

"I am," says Kiri. "As far as I know, I'm the first Slayer who's managed to live past twenty-five, and the first to discover just how good Slayer healing really is. It prevents us from aging. There are many ways to kill a Slayer, but…" She looks back at me, "we can't die of old age."

We can't age. I won't grow old.

Something in me breaks, and I slowly sink back into my seat. Two thoughts surge to the front of my mind, and I'm afraid of saying them aloud. But then I see Giles walking towards me, concern on his face, and I know I have to say something before my friends start worrying and crowd around me. So, I voice the thought that's less painful for me to stomach; something I'd deeply denied until this moment.

"I wasted a year of my life."

Willow reaches a hand towards me, but I don't take it. "What do you mean, Buffy?"

"With Riley," I tell her, and the rest of them. "Everyone said that I needed to date someone normal. Someone with a pulse, someone I could go out in the sun with, someone I could grow old with… Riley was as generic as guys came. He was safe, dependable." Well, not dependable. A dependable guy wouldn't have gone and gotten suck jobs from vamps just to try and get my attention.

The more I think about it, and the more I dwell on him and our relationship, the clearer the picture becomes. The huge revelation blows away the fog covering what was really going on, and is that even a good analogy? Does fog cover a picture…? Whatever.

"I thought you loved Riley." Xander's voice is small. He sounds upset, and that gives me an extra kick to face the facts. Because when my friends are more upset than I am that I broke up with my boyfriend? There was definitely something wrong.

"I thought I did. I think I even managed to convince myself for a while," I say. "But I started dating him because he was normal…and that's it. I wanted normal, not him; I wanted a concept, not a person. I think… I thought that if I dated the most normal guy I could find, some of that normal-ness would rub off on me and make me more normal. I wanted him to make me feel normal, but… If I'm really not going to grow old, then normal is pretty much out of the picture for me, isn't it?"

Kiri nods. "I'm sorry. And I never meant to pry into your personal life, but I had a lot of dreams about you. I saw what happened between the two of you, and while I agree that what you said is true, it was his fault, too. You wanted a normal boyfriend to make you feel normal, but he wanted a superhero girlfriend to make him feel like a superhero."

"Yeah." I nod back. "He denied it a lot, but that was a really big problem with us. He hated that I was stronger than him; that I couldn't let myself be weak with him. It was like he expected me to be the weak one because I'm a girl." Those words bring back a memory I'd long forgotten about. "Actually, before we started dating, he found me outside at night and tried to send me home. He told me to my face that he didn't think girls could take care of themselves. _God_, I should've paid more attention to that. I should've realized he'd never change that attitude."

"He tried to change you, and you tried to change for him as far as you could, until he asked you to change too much and you put your foot down," Kiri explains. "And the balance in your relationship wasn't a healthy one, both ways. Did you really not see a problem with dating a Teaching Assistant?"

The possibility of that being wrong never occurred to me before now. But thinking back on it, I _did_ get a lot of unusually high grades in Psych 101… "But he didn't get into trouble for it…because the professor was his superior and he was her favourite… OK, maybe you're onto something there…"

"And you were all Riley had," Kiri continues. "You have your family, your friends, your duty. He left the army, his friends left town; all he had was you. You were the centre of his world, but he wasn't the centre of yours. And when you didn't give him all of your undivided attention…"

"…He acted out," I finish. "You're right. He started throwing a tantrum because I wasn't there to coddle him and take care of his big, stupid manly feelings when I thought _my mother was dying_. 'Hey Buffy, I know your mum's dying and you need to look after your sister and fight off the latest Big Bad, but you need to pay attention to _me_! And if you don't, I'll just go and try to die on the end of a vampire's fangs!' Ugh!" I hit the table, only holding back my strength at the last minute so I don't break it in half.

Most of my friends know better than to speak up – except Xander. "Maybe if you had let him stay and you guys could've talked-"

I point my finger at him accusingly, shutting him up. "You! You just had to go and…and say all those stupid things that weren't true! You tried to make me take back my lying, cheating ex-boyfriend, all because you wanted another guy friend! 'Once-in-a-lifetime guy'? If he's the best guy in the world like you think he is, then I might as well give up on love altogether!"

"And I don't think you understand just how dangerous the situation was, how badly things might have gone," Kiri adds, this time looking at Xander. "Imagine if he found a vampire in that place who didn't play by the house rules, and turned him. Since he felt that Buffy was paying too much attention to others instead of him, it's likely he would've decided to remove what was holding her attention away from him."

I feel like I'm going to be sick. She's right; if Riley had been turned, there was a good chance he would've gone after people I cared about. When we'd been arguing, right before he left, I'd sensed a small amount of resentment at the fact that I put my family before him. Mom and Dawn would've been the first people he killed. And it would've been easy. All he had to do was wait until I wasn't at home, knock on the door, and one of them would've let him in. Because he was a familiar face.

I can't believe I'm thinking this, but thank god Spike showed me what was going on. Because if he hadn't, then I might have had to deal with Angelus 2.0.

"I don't wanna talk about this anymore," I say, addressing everyone. "Bottom line: I was dating the concept of a normal relationship instead of an actual person, in order to make myself feel normal. Even if Riley had stayed and we'd gotten married and tried to have kids, it would've blown up eventually when he realized that his forty-year-old wife still looked twenty-two. If he couldn't handle my super strength, then that would've been way too much for him to stomach."

My mixed and confused feelings at Riley's departure fade away, the clarity sealing over the wound he left behind – which I can now admit to myself wasn't a big as I wanted it to be. The lack of pain just proves that I didn't love him.

"Perhaps we should discuss the purpose of your arrival, Miss Alatini?" Giles says, turning to the older Slayer.

A change of subject is of the good. Because I don't wanna think about why I was so determined to have a normal relationship. I don't wanna think about who told me to have one because he couldn't give me normal; the one who left for my own good, to give me a semblance of a normal life.

Sure, Angel didn't know about this whole 'Slayers not aging' thing, but it leaves me bitter that he left like a coward to give me something I now know I can never have. The more I think about it, the more I think it was really about not being able to sleep with me, which makes more sense when I remember just how hard it was for him to resist throwing himself on me, to the point of nearly meeting the sunrise so he could stop himself. And why am I only now seeing just how majorly wrong it is that he didn't care if he lost his soul just so he could sleep with me again? And how wrong it is that his lack of self-control was so great that killing himself was the only option?

I start to think that it sounds more like lust instead of love, but my thoughts are interrupted when Kiri corrects Giles with, "It's Mrs. Alatini, actually." She holds her hand up, revealing a chunky silver ring on her wedding finger.

I blink. She got married. Good for her.

"Why do you still have the same name?" asks Anya.

"My husband didn't have a surname, so he took mine," she replies.

"Wait…" Willow frowns. "But haven't we just talked about this? Won't he grow old and die while you won't age at all?"

Kiri looks amused. "You're assuming that I married a human?"

Something close to dread twists in my stomach.

"Ooh, a demon. You married a demon!" At least Anya looks happy. "What kind? There're many harmless demons out there, you know. Brachens, Loose-Skinned demons… And they're all useful members of society! Like me! Well, I'm not a Vengeance demon anymore; I'm human now, so please don't slay me."

"Don't worry, I have no intention of slaying you. I don't slay demons that don't hurt anybody," she says. "And Kamon isn't a Brachen, or a Loose-Skinned. He'll probably be offended if you call him that last one; he's a little self-absorbed about his looks."

I turn back to Anya to see her reaction, but her eyes have gone wide.

"Ahn, honey?" Xander gently taps her shoulder. "You OK?"

The former demon leaps to her feet. "Kamon the Kinslayer?! You're married to Kamon the _Kinslayer_?!"

"Oh, dear lord…" Giles's glasses come off again, and he's cleaning them so forcefully they look like they're gonna snap in half at any moment. "The Kinslayer is supposed to be a myth."

Kiri turns and narrows her eyes at him, and it's the first time since she arrived that she looks anything but happy. "Do you really mean that, or are you willingly lying to your Slayer under the pretence of protecting her?"

I want to tell her that Giles has never lied to me, but then memories of my Cruciamentum come back to me, and my words die in my throat. I wait for his response, worried that this is yet another thing he's hiding from me.

He frowns. "My father told me his story, but assured me afterwards that he wasn't real. I haven't been told otherwise until now." His expression is genuine, and I can tell that there are no lies in his words. The older Slayer relaxes.

I get to my feet again. "Can someone please tell me what's going on? Who is this Kinslayer you're talking about?" It makes me uncomfortable that there's some sort of demon out there who also holds the title of 'slayer' in some form. I mean, Spike is the Slayer of Slayers, but still…

Giles sighs and puts his glasses back on. "There is no other way of saying this, so I will be blunt. Kiri's husband is a vampire."

* * *

Soddin' Slayer. Why does she have to make things so bloody difficult? Even when she's not actually here and I'm talking to her mannequin stand-in, she still manages to be the bane of my bloody existence.

I pick up the mannequin for the who-the-bloody-hell-is-even-counting-anymore-th time and readjust the blonde wig. The box of chocolates is battered and long past presentable, but I don't have the cash to go buy another one. I'm tempted to just steal another one, but the Slayer wouldn't like that, so… And the chocolates inside are alright, no harm done, so who cares if the box looks like it lost a fight with a lorry?

Well, I do. At least, I care what Buffy would think of this gift. Bloody hell, I'm in trouble.

I wonder if perhaps I shouldn't mention Captain Cardboard at all in my apology slash declaration of love, since that's what's been setting off my temper. I want to, because she should be grateful that the tosser's gone; he was a cheating bastard who didn't treat her like the bloody Goddess she is, but oh no, in the eyes of her precious little Scoobies, he's the bloody Second Coming. All it took was the bloody whelp complaining and the Slayer ran off after her ex, because apparently, she can't do anything anymore without her friends' stamp of approval. Yeah, well, where were they when she was crying at home because her mum was in hospital? Nowhere. Instead it was me comforting her, making her feel better, and did she ever thank me for it?

I feel my anger growing again. And _this_ is why I can't mention her wanker of an ex. I take in a deep breath that I don't need, calming myself so I don't lash out and hit the mannequin again.

"Violence will get you nowhere. With her, anyway."

I jump five feet in the soddin' air and almost collide with the mannequin. I spin and see a bloke standing by the door, leaning against the wall with his arms folded across his chest. It takes me a few seconds to realize he's a vamp.

"Who the bloody hell are you?!" I demand. "And what the bloody hell are you doing here?!"

His eyebrows rise. "If your attempts to talk to her are only ending in violence, then you need to rethink your feelings for her."

I mimic his expression. "Believe I asked you a couple of questions, mate. Who are you, and why are you here?"

He smirks and pushes himself off the wall. Having recovered from my shock, I'm able to get a good look at him. Dark eyes, and dark hair tied up in a bun, held in place by some sort of pin. He looks like he's from somewhere around South East Asia, Thailand or Burma most likely.

What he's wearing draws most of my attention. And people think _I_ don't care about being conspicuous. Apart from the golden scarf around his neck, his upper body is covered in thick, black leather armour, though his arms are bare. There's an armguard on his right forearm, while on his left he wears a collection of metal bracelets and bands. More likely trophies than actual jewellery. A silver ring sits on his wedding finger.

Under his belt is a piece of red fabric wrapped around his waist, visible from where it's hanging down in front and behind his legs. His black trousers and boots are unremarkable, but what _is_ noteworthy is the golden band sat just atop of his forehead like a crown.

There's bravado in the way he walks; confidence in himself. It's not put upon like I've seen in a lot of vamps; demons who want to look tough but don't have the skills or strength to back it up. No, this bloke walks around my crypt like he _knows_ he can flatten me anytime he wants, and I realize immediately that I need to be cautious. My anger from before dies.

After observing my crypt, he gestures to the fridge. "Can you spare a pint? I haven't had the chance to get some myself."

I'm tempted to refuse, but again, vamp flattening. And if I send him away, he'll just snack on the Happy Meals on legs outside. And the Slayer would be angry. I sigh and walk over to the fridge. "All I've got is pig."

"Fine with me. Not my favourite; I prefer cattle. But pig will do."

I frown while I take out two mugs. A vamp who's not only fine with pig's blood, but _likes_ cattle blood? This is neat. I don't question it, and pour the blood into the mugs before shoving them both in the microwave. I set the timer, shut the door and wait. I just happen to glance up at the small windows, and something hits me.

"Wait, it's daylight outside! How the bloody hell did you get in here?!"

He looks amused. "All in good time."

I really don't like the way this bloke is looking at me. "Are you gonna answer my bloody questions, or not?" I ask as I take out the mugs from the microwave and hand one to him.

He takes it and proceeds to gulp all the blood down in one go. When he's finished, he licks his lips and says, "My wife's talking to the Slayer, and we thought it was best that I didn't put in an appearance there yet."

"Well, your wife's gonna be a big pile of dust. The Slayer doesn't tend to give vamps the benefit of the doubt unless they're the dark, tall and brooding variety," I tell him.

"That's not gonna be a problem," the bloke says. And there's that smirk again; like he knows something I don't. "My wife's not a vampire. She's a Slayer."

The mouthful of blood I'd been about to swallow comes straight back out again, sending me into a coughing fit.

A Slayer? This vamp's married to a _Slayer_?

I pause to wrap my head around it. There were two Slayers; _my_ Slayer, and that other bint who went off her rocker and started killing people. Faith, if memory serves correctly. But she went to prison, so unless she's broken out without my Slayer finding out and decided to shag the first vamp she met…

There's another Slayer about. Which makes more sense than it should. If Buffy could die and be brought back to life, splitting the Slayer line, then there's a good chance it's happened before. Thousands upon thousands of Slayers, and no one's managed to bring one back to life before? It's impossible.

But the bigger question is: How did this bloke manage to get himself hitched to a Slayer?

"You convinced a Slayer to marry you? How'd you pull that one off, mate?" I frown. "You don't have a soul, do you?" Because that's the last bloody thing I need, an Angel wannabe on a mission of redemption with a Slayer of his own.

"No soul. And it's a long story."

He passes me his mug, and I take it. I put it down along with my own. "How about you start that story by telling me your name?" Because if this bloke, a soulless vamp, managed to get a Slayer to marry him, maybe I can get some tips off him. I can just do what he did, and Buffy will be falling into my arms in no time.

Well, that's gist of the plan, anyway. I can work out the details later.

"We should sit down," says the other vamp. "The story is long."

"Not hearing a name, mate." I pick up my mug again and take another mouthful.

"My name is Kamon."

And out comes the blood again.

I slam my mug down and stare at him with wide eyes. He hasn't tried to kill me, so it's likely I have nothing to fear. But that doesn't stop the chill from slithering down my spine.

"You're the bloody Kinslayer!"

He smirks. "The one…and _only_."

* * *

A vampire. This Slayer married a _vampire_.

And hey, I know I shouldn't be one to judge, but Angel had a _soul_. The only vampire who's ever had a soul…I think…

"Does he have a soul?" I ask before I can stop himself.

"No," says Kiri. "He doesn't have a soul. And if you're asking that, I'm going to assume that you've met Angel."

"He's my ex-boyfriend," I tell her. And I really don't wanna talk about Angel right now, after realizing that he left me for no reason. "But shouldn't you know that, since you've been having dreams about my life?"

She shakes her head. "Only recent events, connecting to Glory. I don't know what happened to you before this year."

Well, at least she doesn't know how badly I messed up with Angel; didn't see how much I sucked as a Slayer that year, for refusing to stake my boyfriend and getting people killed as a result.

"How do you know Angel?" asks Willow.

"Kamon and I met him fourteen years ago," Kiri replies. "I told him that he should be helping people instead of sitting around and feeling sorry for himself. Then he attacked Kamon. I think he was jealous that Kamon didn't need a soul to do the right thing, while he did."

I want to tell her that _all_ vampires need a soul in order to be good. Kamon must be tricking her or something, or maybe he _has_ a soul and never told her about it…for some reason. It has to be one of the two, because a vampire can't go around being nice to Slayers and marrying them without a soul.

And I'm totally going to tell her this, and show that that while she may be older than me, I've had more experience with this stuff than her. I was the one who fucked the soul right out of Angel and sent him on a killing spree. That's all the proof I need that vampires are nothing but trouble when they're soulless.

"Who is this Kamon guy, and why's he so special?" asks Xander.

I sigh. I'll tell her just as soon as everyone stops talking…

"And why did you marry him?" Willow adds.

"Kamon is known and feared throughout the demon world," says Anya. "I'm surprised Giles and the Watchers thought he was a myth."

"A lot of Watchers don't realize he's not a myth, because they've been told that's the case," Kiri explains. "But some Watchers know he's real, and merely tell the newer Watchers and the Slayers that he's a myth."

"Why on earth would they do that?" Giles frowns.

Kiri sighs. "Because Kamon contradicts everything that they teach. They say that all demons are evil and can't change so long as they don't have a soul. They say that vampires can't retain their humanity once they've been turned. You know, 'you're not looking at the person, but the demon that killed them', stuff like that. For them, these facts are set in stone, and are true for any and all demons. But like humanity, individual demons are different. One vampire may lose all their humanity when they're turned, but the next could retain some of it and refuse to kill the family they still love. One demon would revel in being evil, while another would realize it's wrong and change their ways. Kamon is walking proof that this is the case. If the Watchers acknowledge him, then all of their teachings are thrown into question – and they really don't like being questioned."

"That's something we can agree on," says Giles with a smile.

I squirm in my seat. I want to run outside, dig a hole, stick my head inside it and sing at the top of my lungs while covering my ears. What she's saying can't be true. It just…can't be.

Maybe she really _is_ an evil Slayer like Faith.

She places a hand on my shoulder, and I slap it away before I can stop myself. When I look up at her, she doesn't look offended. The expression is one of understanding, like she can see right into my eyes and read my mind.

"I can see why this is hard for you to hear," she tells me. "Trying to unlearn what you've learned, trying to rid yourself of something that's been drilled into your head… It sounds impossible. You're not the first Slayer I've met; I've tried helping so many others, and they refused to listen. They even tried to kill me when they realized who I was. And then they died, because they didn't understand. I'm trying to help you, Buffy. If you can just…hear me out and listen to what I have to say, I promise things will be better for you."

I don't want to listen to her, but…she sounds so _nice_ and looks so friendly. I can't see her being evil. Maybe this Kamon guy has her in a thrall? But then again, she isn't eating bugs and acting weird like Xander did…

"I suppose Kamon's story is different from the version I heard?" Giles says.

"The only thing the Watchers really changed is the ending. At least, the last time I heard their version, that's what they did," says Kiri. "They changed it so the moral of the story is a vampire will always give into their bloodlust eventually."

"How do you know that's not the real version, and your husband lied to you?" I ask before I can think about what I'm saying.

I want her to glare at me and give me some kind of proof that this is a plan to lure us all into a trap of some kind. But she doesn't glare; the look she gives me is one of sympathy. Like she's upset that I'm not on the same page she is.

Well, maybe I don't _want_ to be on the same page as her.

"I'm with Buffy on this one," says Xander. At least someone's on my side. "You're a stranger. We don't know you. And you expect us to trust your husband, a _soulless_ vampire? We haven't even _met_ him."

"Maybe…" Tara speaks up, a little hesitant. "Maybe we should let her tell her story. We shouldn't judge until we hear what happened."

"And the truth behind your husband's origins," Giles adds. I'm surprised he's being calm about this, since he was the one who tried to kill her with a crossbow. He's probably just dying for information he can research later.

She nods, and finally takes a seat. "It's a long story. And not all of it's good."

With no other choice, I get comfortable and prepare to listen – and prepare to point out any plot holes. Because there _has_ to be an explanation for all this. And the sooner I figure out what's really going on, the sooner I can find this Kamon guy and stake him so hard his dust will feel it for the next two hundred years.

* * *

**End Notes**: This story is complete, and I'm planning to update it twice a week, but which days may vary.


	2. Chapter 2: The Journey Begins

**Chapter Notes**: This is the first part of the flashback, told from the Points of Views of Kiri and Kamon. Originally it was only gonna be two chapters long, but these two partners in crime ended up having a lot more to say and do than I thought, so the flashback ended up being four chapters long. So, just a heads up, we won't be returning to Sunnydale until chapter 6.

* * *

_One foot in front of the other babe, _

_one breath leads to another…_

~ _Flames_ by Sia

* * *

_City of Ayutthaya, The Ayutthaya Kingdom_

_1480_

I wake up starving.

It's dark, and I can't move. I'm buried under a pile of rocks, and when I try to move one, another from above falls into its place. I should be crushed to death; I should be suffocating. But I'm not. My body doesn't feel broken, and I don't have any trouble breathing. It's like I don't need to breathe at all.

Dread sinks in.

I struggle to remember what happened, but everything's a blur. I remember Clovis running to me, speaking at first in my language. But his words were garbled and didn't make sense, so I asked him to speak in his own. He doesn't know my Kingdom's language very well, but I can speak French fluently. So, he switched, and explained that a vampire had taken a girl and dragged her away from the city.

I remember running outside the city…and then nothing.

But I know what's happened.

I have brought dishonour on the Warriors of Vishnu. I should have gone to find some of the other Warriors to help me. They always told me never to go off alone; vampires travelled in clans, and they could easily overwhelm a single Warrior. I hadn't listened. I'd been determined to prove myself, prove that I was the strongest of the Warriors, the bravest…

Now I've become the very creature that I'm duty-bound to hunt.

My anger builds within me, growing stronger and stronger until the rocks above me feel no heavier than feathers. With a roar, I push against them, and they explode outwards as I jump to my feet. A cloud of dust blinds me, but it starts to clear soon enough, and I'm able to make out a figure standing a safe distance away from me. Then the figure becomes two, and then three, the third kneeling in submission next to the second.

I walk closer until I recognize the first figure.

I stop. "Clovis?"

He smiles, and it's not a friendly one. I always thought his brown curly hair and bright blue eyes made him look innocent, but now, it's the opposite. His eyes are like deadly ice, and his hair is as dark as his soul – not that he has one.

Because my new senses are telling me something about him that I never knew: he's a vampire.

"Kamon, my friend. Home at last."

I want to tell myself that he's only just been turned, like I have. But things start to add up, and I can't deny the truth staring me in the face. I always met up with Clovis after the sun had set, when I carried out my evening patrol. And the one time I saw him during the day, he was standing in the shade.

He was always telling me that I didn't need the other Warriors; that I was stronger and more powerful than any of them, that I could protect the city on my own. He always said that they held me back.

His words gave me comfort whenever I had an argument with my superiors. Now they make me feel sick; he was isolating me from the other Warriors, waiting for the right time to turn me.

"You're…one of them," is all I can say. I thought Clovis was my friend, and the betrayal cuts deep.

The Frenchman chuckles. "And now, you're one of _us_."

He gestures behind him, and now that the cloud of dust has faded away, I can see a large group of vampires gathered around us, male and female alike. All of them are wearing their true faces; their demon faces. Clovis is the only vampire who isn't.

The vampire beside him is also wearing his true face, and then I notice the person by his feet isn't a vampire at all. The girl is curled on the ground, trembling in fear, tears streaming down her face. Her sobs feel like a stake to the heart.

She smells…good. Her warm blood calls to me, reminding me just how hungry I am.

I feel the demon within me fighting for control. I push back against it, suppressing the urge to rip the girl's throat out.

I close the distance and stand before the man I thought was my friend. "Let her go," I tell Clovis.

He laughs. "Let her go? I go through all the trouble of fetching you breakfast, and you want me to _let her go_? Don't fight the power within you, Kamon. Let it consume you. We have work to do."

"Work?" I level him with a glare.

"You think I turned you out of the goodness of my heart?" Clovis shakes his head. "I want the city. I want to sit on the King's throne and make this city, this country, _mine_. My clan has been dying for a feast of this magnitude." He gestures again to the vampires behind him; his family. "You know every inch of the city. You can let us in. The Warriors of Vishnu, the Protectors of Ayutthaya, would never suspect one of their own to betray them."

He wants me to help him take over the city.

"You used me."

Clovis only chuckles again, and then he picks up something off the ground. My staff; a weapon of great power and magic, given to every Warrior when their training is complete. He holds it out to me, and I hesitate to take it. Can I even use it anymore? It's a weapon made to destroy demons. I don't deserve to wield it.

"You would've done the same," says Clovis. "Think about it; how many times have you wanted to kill every single Warrior in that stinking city. I mean, who's worse?"

That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

The woman on the ground looks up at me, her eyes bloodshot from crying so hard. "Please…" The other vampire kicks her, and she cries out.

"How about you shut her up for me, hmm?" says Clovis. "Sate your hunger, become what you were meant to be, and join us."

I can feel the demon still trying to take over.

But I won't be controlled.

Instead, I launch myself at the other vampire. I feel my face shift, and I sink my new fangs into the vampire's neck. Blood is blood, and I drain the stolen life from my enemy until my hunger is sated. I let his body drop to the ground before I turn on Clovis.

He's finally shifted into his demon face. His yellow eyes are wide and he's holding my staff in front of him, like he thinks that'll protect him from me. It doesn't; he has no idea how to use it, and I snatch it off him with ease. Before he even has the chance to beg for his life, I ram my staff into his chest, and he explodes into a pile of dust. I turn back to the other vampire on the ground and do the same.

I place myself in front of the girl and face down the other vampires closing in on me.

I feel no kinship to them, no bonds of family. All I feel is anger and betrayal.

"A demon…made a fool…of ME!"

If these were the vampires who overwhelmed me before, then the tides have turned. With my greater strength, I have no trouble taking them down one by one. Dust explodes around me, covering me, but I don't care. My demon has stopped fighting me and instead cooperates; it longs for violence and I'm happy to oblige, so long as the ones who fall are demons.

It's over all too soon.

All that's left is dust. The red clears from my vision, and I feel my face shift back to normal. From the direction of the city, I see the other Warriors running towards me.

They're duty bound to kill me…and I must let them.

I fall to my knees and stab my staff into the ground. My forehead presses against my weapon as I begin to sob involuntarily.

I feel the girl I saved place a gentle, comforting hand on my shoulder.

"You saved my life. I will tell them what you have done."

* * *

_Ayothaya, Ayutthaya Province, Thailand_

_1983_

I wake up with a gasp, my hand going to my chest and expecting to feel blood pouring out of a fresh wound, but there's nothing. No blood, no wound. Only a nightmare.

I wonder if it's a Slayer dream, and make a note to ask my Watcher later.

By habit, I go to run my fingers through my hair, and meet thin air. I sigh. I keep forgetting about my new haircut; all of my hair removed apart from a thin layer on my scalp. It was the only way I could pass as a monk.

What kind of demons were interested in a monastery, anyway?

I look outside my window and see that the sun is just about to disappear beneath the horizon. Time to get up and patrol.

I push myself off the hard mattress lying on the floor that's supposed to serve as a bed, and walk over to the bucket of water by the door. It's cold and not very clean, but I use it to wash my face anyway, because I don't have any other options.

I miss comfy beds. I miss clean water and indoor plumbing.

I miss Auckland.

With a deep breath, I suck it up. I'm the Slayer. I'm here to do my duty, then I can return home…and continue to perform my duty there.

Sometimes I wonder what being a normal girl would feel like.

I take off my night robe and bind my chest, before putting on my blue monk robes. I always thought that monks wore orange, but this is a special monastery according to my Watcher. He never explained why it was special, but I'm not supposed to ask questions like that. It's my job to kill the demons and vampires he tells me to, no questions asked, no complications.

There are some days when I don't agree with him. I don't argue with him outright, but some demons… I know just by looking at them that they're not dangerous, so I let them go. Gregory doesn't have to know.

Just when I finish adjusting my scarf around my neck and over my chest, I hear a crash outside, followed by yelling. Instead of running out the door, I hurry over to the window and look outside, in time to see one of the wooden carts go up in flames.

I see people running around, only they're not people. In the firelight, their vampire faces look even more demonic than normal. Some of them chase the monks trying to fight back, while others break down doors and storm inside the monastery. They don't need an invitation; the monastery is open to all.

I leap onto the windowsill and take out a stake, before I jump down into the fray. Seconds after landing, I stake my first vampire; it was running right towards me, thinking I was nothing more than a helpless monk boy. I'm soon fighting another one, trading punches and kicks before I stake him as well.

It doesn't take me long to track down the vampires leading the raid. Both Caucasians, both blonde; one's hair is curly and short, while the other's is long and straight. Neither of them are wearing their demon faces. The first is too far away to get a good look at him; the only thing I can make out about him is the long trench coat he's wearing. But the second is close enough for me to see his vivid blue eyes. And his handsome features. It always bothers me a little bit, whenever I meet a vampire who's good-looking. What a waste of a beautiful face.

Sounds shallow, but I can't help my reaction.

The handsome one and another vampire corner a monk, and I race forwards to save him. I kick the lesser vampire to the ground, kneel in one smooth motion and stake him.

"Slayer!" the curly blonde vampire snarls. It doesn't surprise me that they know what I am, despite my disguise. They can sense me. "Axel, keep her busy!"

The long blonde vampire, Axel, moves towards me with a frighteningly stoic expression. He's not even running; just walking, taking his time, like he doesn't even consider me a threat. I get out of his way and go after the other vampires. I need to get things under control and give the monks a fighting chance, before I can focus my energy on a stronger demon.

I manage to take out several more vampires before Axel finally catches up to me. I throw a punch, but he catches it with ease before spinning and tossing me aside. I land on the ground hard, and I groan in reaction to the impact. The vampire stalks towards me, but then suddenly he freezes and looks up. Something on top of the building behind me has caught his attention.

Before I can turn to see what he's noticed, a vampire falls in between us, screaming. He lands on the wooden cart that's not burning, smashing it to pieces. Somehow his heart hits a pointy piece of wood, and he turns to dust.

I look up in time to see another vampire jump down and land on his feet, his back to me, facing Axel head on. The first thing I notice about him is the staff in his hands, black and golden and unlike any weapon I've ever seen before. I push myself into a sitting position to get a better look; he's wearing some kind of ancient armour made of leather.

But why is he standing opposed to the other vampires?

"I am the Kinslayer," he introduces himself. "And you're not supposed to be here."

The other vampire grins, flicks back his cape (and how cliché is that, a vampire wearing a cape) and draws a sword. "You will regret coming here, Kinslayer."

They both surge forwards and their weapons clash.

With Axel distracted, I get to my feet and hurry away to find the curly blonde vampire. I haven't gone very far when I see him, running towards the exit with a group of other vampires in tow. In the middle of them is one of the monastery's older monks.

And my Watcher.

"Gregory!"

I race forwards to stop them, but a loud rumbling noise stops me in my tracks. I look up to see one of the monastery's tall walls starting to collapse, and I realize that I'm too close. I dive backwards, throwing myself to the ground as the stone crumbles in on itself. The loud crash is followed by a long moment of silence.

Dust surrounds me, getting in my eyes and mouth, and I cough it back up again. Everything is blurry and unfocused, but I'm able to make out the fight between the two vampires; Axel and the one who called himself the Kinslayer.

I get to my feet and look around. My Watcher is nowhere in sight, and neither are the other vampires. They've taken him.

My father figure, the man who's raised me since I was a child, is gone.

I take a deep breath in and push back my grief. No. He isn't dead until I see his corpse, or until I drive a stake into the vampire who wears his face. And there's a chance he could still live. If the vampires wanted him dead, they would've killed him already; there'd be no use in taking him captive.

Strengthened by resolve, I find myself watching the battle between the two vampires.

The battle is unlike any I've ever seen; both are clearly skilled fighters, but Axel is throwing brute strength behind his hits, trying to knock his opponent down. The Kinslayer is like a dancer, his movements smooth like he's rehearsed them thousands of times. He flips and dodges just as much as he throws hits and kicks; he's strong, but uses his skills more than his strength.

And there's a huge grin on his face as he fights.

Finally, the fight ends when the Kinslayer knocks Axel back into a wall. The blonde vampire drops his sword, and he doesn't have time to roll out of the way before the Kinslayer strikes him in the chest with his staff. Axel crumbles into dust.

His staff acts like a stake?

And what kind of vampire kills his own kind?

He tucks his staff under his arm, then turns and looks towards me. His gaze locks on the stake in my hand, but he doesn't move to attack.

The voice in my head that sounds too much like my Watcher screams at me to attack him, but I hesitate. This vampire showed up to a demon raid not to join in, but to fight against the demons instead. He landed in the middle of a stand-off between a vampire and a Slayer, and instead he chose to attack the vampire instead of the Slayer.

His name suggests he killed his kin. His vampire kin? I doubt it refers to his human family; most vampires kill and/or turn their human family, or at least attempt to. It wouldn't really be a remarkable name for a demon if that was the case.

I have two choices; do what I was trained to do and fight him, or take a risk. A big risk. I need to find out what the vampires have done with my Watcher, and there's a chance that this vampire before me could have information. He could help me.

Or he could rip my throat out.

Seconds pass. He still doesn't move.

I make my choice. I put my stake away, and cautiously move towards him.

"Kinslayer?" I hold up my hands as a sign of peace as I approach. "I'm not your enemy."

The vampire rests against his staff and looks me over. I find myself doing the same to him; I notice for the first time that there's a gold band on his head, the firelight reflecting off it. And, like the vampire he just killed, he's handsome. But I'm not annoyed by this like I was before.

"Then who are you?" he asks. His eyebrows rise up as he considers me.

Hoping that my answer doesn't give him a reason to attack me, I say, "I'm Kiri, the Vampire Slayer."

He frowns. "But Slayers are girls. You're a boy."

I guess my disguise is better than I thought. "I _am_ a girl. I'm in disguise."

His gaze drifts down my body before meeting my own again. "Interesting."

A series of shouts echo out the doors leading into the monastery's largest building. The Kinslayer turns towards the noise, and he mutters something under his breath. Then he runs towards the main gate, staff in hand, not even sparing me a second glance as he makes his exit.

I hesitate to follow. I want to make sure everyone's OK, but if I lose track of this vampire, then there goes my chance at finding my Watcher.

So, I hurry after him.

The monastery is on the edge of the town, mostly surrounded by a forest. I follow the vampire into the trees, jogging to keep up with him. Eventually he stops in a small clearing bathed in moonlight, and I reach him in time to witness his staff shrinking down to the size of a pencil. He then ties his hair up in a bun and slides his now miniaturised weapon into it.

"What kind of weapon is that?" I ask. "It can shrink, and kills vampires like a stake. I've never seen anything like it before."

He turns, startled by my presence, and stares at me in surprise. "Why are you following me?" His eyes light up. "Oh, you want to stake me! There's no need, but it's understandable. I'm a vampire, you're a Slayer, you have a duty. I respect that."

Didn't I already tell him I'm not his enemy? "Actually-"

"Very well, we can fight, but we'll have to make it quick. I have places to be, demons to kill. I won't even use my staff, to make things fair."

I don't think I've ever met a vampire who likes to talk so much. "If you just let me-"

"And there's no need to worry about dying. I won't kill you. I don't kill people, unless they're bad and they deserve it." He waves his hand, gesturing towards me. "Come on, prepare yourself. Show me a fighting stance." He then links his arms behind his back and waits.

Maybe he'll listen if I fight him first. So, I get into a fighting stance. "This really isn't necessary."

He ignores me and frowns. "What is that?"

"What is…what?"

"That stance. It's terrible. I can knock you down by blowing on you." He strides towards me, and next thing I know he's touching me; a vampire is touching me, adjusting my stance, not even trying to hurt me. When he's satisfied, he takes a step back. "There, perfect."

This is getting nowhere. I drop my arms. "Can you let me explain?"

"What are you doing? You need to-"

He reaches forwards again, but I slap his hands away. "I don't want to fight you! Can you just listen to me?"

The Kinslayer gives me another once over, frowning again. "Are you concussed, little Slayer?"

"No, I just have more important things to worry about," I tell him. "I need to ask you about those vampires that attacked the monastery. They took my Watcher. Do you know who they are or what they want with him?"

His left eyebrow rises. "Are you prepared to trust the word of a demon?"

"Back at the monastery, you attacked another vampire instead of attacking me," I explain. "And you call yourself the Kinslayer. I'm thinking that means you hunt your own kind; other demons."

His head tilts slightly. "You're smarter than you look. You can call me Kamon, but most only know me as the Kinslayer. I'm surprised you haven't heard of me."

"I live on the Auckland Hellmouth in New Zealand," I say. "It's pretty out of the way. My Watcher and I came here because we got a report from the Council that a powerful demon was targeting a monk in this monastery. The monks asked us for help, and so far, we've failed. I need to get my Watcher back, and the monk they took. If you can be of any help, I'd really appreciate it."

Kamon walks away and stares up at the moon, his back turned to me. "The vampires work for a Master Vampire who possesses powerful magic capabilities. His name is Edmund, his surname lost to history. He was once a Watcher, until one day he and his Slayer were captured by vampires. His Slayer was killed, he was turned. He's as evil as they come, which goes to show that deep down, he didn't think much of his duty."

"What makes you say that?" I can't help but wonder what Edmund's last thoughts were, after seeing his Slayer killed and knowing that when he woke up again, he would've become the very monster he was duty bound to destroy.

At first, Kamon doesn't answer. Then he sighs. "When I was alive, it was my duty to rid the world of demons. The ones that were evil, anyway. That didn't change when I died."

And that's all it takes. His words shatter my beliefs about vampires, leaving behind tiny little pieces that I know I can rebuild into a better picture. Here is a vampire who hunts his own kind, driven by a duty he refused to let go of even after death. Maybe there are more vampires like him; vampires who don't lose their humanity and choose to do the right thing. Having met a fair amount of peaceful demons, I'm willing to put my faith in that possibility.

"Who were you when you were alive?" I ask him.

He finally turns back to me, but avoids my gaze as he walks past. "I don't wanna talk about it."

"OK, that's fair." Judging by the stoic look on his face, it's a touchy subject. And I get it. I can't even imagine waking up one day and discovering that I've been turned into a vampire, a creature I'm supposed to kill. "So, where's Edmund? We need to find him fast."

"We?" He turns back to me and his eyebrows go up again, only this time he looks vaguely amused. "There's no 'we'. I work alone."

"What? Why? He's taken my Watcher!"

"I'll bring him back in one piece. You stay here and keep pretending to be a monk. Go…pray, or something." He turns again and walks into the trees.

Does he really think that telling me to stay will work? I'm the Slayer, and my Watcher's in trouble. I'm going on this rescue mission whether he likes it or not.

I start walking after him. "You can't stop me!"

The moment he turns with a devious look in his eyes, I know I shouldn't have tempted fate. "Can't I?" With speed I never knew a vampire could be capable of, he grabs me around the waist and hauls me over his shoulder.

"Hey! Put me down!" I try to wriggle out of his arms, but his grasp is too tight. I try thumping and kicking him, but it has no effect.

Suddenly he jumps into a tree, and whoa, I never knew vampires could jump so high. He sets me down on a branch, gives me a little wave with a smirk on his face, and then he drops back down to the ground again.

"Stay." He points a finger at me, as if that's gonna magically make me wait in a tree, before he turns around and runs into the forest.

"Come back here you…stupid vampire!"

No reply. _Great_.

Not wanting to risk breaking my leg, I climb down the tree slowly. When my feet touch the ground, I sweep my gaze through the trees for any sign of the vampire. But I can't see him anywhere.

Bugger.

Still, I'm not about to give up that easily. I start to walk in the direction he went, hoping that tracking a vampire in the forest is the same as tracking a vampire in the city.

* * *

I know she's following me. She's a stubborn little Slayer, I'll give her that. It's the only reason I haven't tried again to make her stay behind; it'll just be a waste of my time.

She thinks she's being stealthy; she thinks I don't know she's there. It's adorable.

I'm playing along, pretending that she's not here. I don't want her to join me, and not for the reason she thinks. I can hear her muttering, cursing me under her breath; thinking that I tried to leave her behind because she's a girl.

Her gender has nothing to do with it. She's a Slayer; I know she can handle herself. I just don't want company of any kind. Company asks personal questions I don't want to answer. And more importantly, company is for people who deserve it. I don't.

Though it's refreshing to meet a Slayer who hasn't tried to attack me. In the five hundred years of my existence, I've met my fair share of Slayers. And every single one of them has tried to kill me. In some cases, it was hard for me not to kill them in self-defence. I don't take it personally; they have a duty, as do I. Most vampires would take the opportunity to kill them if they stopped to interrogate every demon they met.

This little Slayer, though… There's something about her.

And it's strange that she doesn't know who I am. With the encounters I've had, shouldn't the Watchers have mentioned me? Not that it matters; it's just interesting.

I stop by a river, and I sense her stop further downstream to have a drink. I hope she doesn't realize that we're walking in circles. I have no idea where Edmund is, and no clue where to look first. Maybe if I keep wandering aimlessly, the little Slayer will get bored and give up.

I look down at the river. I know I won't see my reflection. But what I _do_ see is mist; blue, supernatural mist covering the water, and I know what that means immediately. River Demon.

The mist, I realize quickly, is thicker further downstream – where the little Slayer is.

I pull my staff out of my hair and resize it.

* * *

I wonder if Kamon knows he's walking in circles.

But if he's too stubborn to ask for my help, that's fine with me. I'll just keep following him until I see any sign of the vampires who took Gregory, and then I'll leave him and be on my way. Until then, I could use a drink.

If the water is running, it should be safe to drink, my Watcher once told me. This water is running fast, so it should be fine. Besides, I forgot to bring a water bottle with me, so it'll have to do. I cup my hands, dip them into the water and bring them out again, before drinking.

When I go to dip them again, I jump back at the sight of blue mist covering the water. Something about rivers and blue mist nags at the back of my mind, and I look around me for any sign of trouble.

A short distance away, I see a woman hiding behind a tree, watching me. She disappears behind it completely when our eyes meet.

"Hello?" I call out. "Who are you? Can I help? I won't hurt you."

Her face peeks out again. She's pale, and her hair is a mess; wavy and somewhere between blonde and white, coming up just above her shoulders. Her clothes are a mix of blacks and dark greens; a long-sleeved thick top with trousers and boots to match. A necklace made of stones and shells hangs down her front, and in her hand, she carries an intimidating-looking scythe. Her pale blue eyes watch me with caution.

My senses tell me that she's a demon. A River Demon; I remember reading about them. But that doesn't necessarily mean I need to straight up attack her. I need to wait and see what she does.

"You smell funny," says the demon. "And feel funny. But you're not like me."

I wonder if I'm the first Slayer she's ever seen. "I'm Kiri. What's your name?"

She hesitates for a moment, before stepping out from behind the tree. "The people in the town call me "eww" or "get away from me". But my real name is Aqua."

"It's nice to meet you, Aqua." I smile. "I'm looking for someone who was taken by vampires. Have they come through here?"

"Vampires?" She looks around. "I can sense one close by. He's-"

Suddenly she ducks, and Kamon's staff flies over her head and slams into the tree. Kamon himself follows after, retrieving his staff before facing the demon, ready for battle. Aqua holds her scythe ready, but I can tell that she's terrified. She doesn't want to fight.

"Kamon!" I call out.

He turns to me. "Silence, little Slayer! I'm saving your life!"

"Wait, you don't know what you're doing!"

"Relax, I've done this a million times!" He swings his staff at Aqua, and she barely manages to avoid it.

"No!" I rush forwards and throw myself onto Kamon's back, covering his eyes. He stumbles in shock, drops his staff and reaches behind to try and pull me off. My actions give Aqua a chance to run and hide behind the tree again, and seeing that she's safe, I leap off Kamon's back and place myself between him and the demon.

Kamon doesn't look impressed. "Why did you do that?" he demands while glaring at me.

"I'm sorry, I didn't have a choice," I explain. "Aqua wasn't trying to hurt me. She's not dangerous."

His gaze goes to Aqua's scythe, then returns to me. I give him my best resolve face.

He sighs and retrieves his staff from the ground. "River Demons can be hit and miss. Some are friendly, others like to drown people."

"I don't want to hurt anyone," Aqua speaks up, slowly sliding out from behind the tree. "I like talking to people who pass through. Not many want to talk to me, but some do. Mostly other demons."

"I was asking her if she's seen any vampires." I smirk. "Then we can stop walking in circles and make some progress."

Kamon huffs, hitting his staff into the ground. He leans against it with a hilariously proud look on his face, and I know just by looking at it that he'd rather die than admit he had no idea where he was going.

"I saw some vampires come through here," says Aqua. "They had two humans with them, and they were heading towards the old city ruins."

A strange look crosses Kamon's face, but it's gone before I can figure out what it means. "Good. Thank you, kind River Demon."

"My pleasure. Feel free to come back and visit someday." Aqua turns into a cloud of blue mist and disappears.

I sigh. "So, are you going to try and strand me in a tree again, or are you going to let me come with you?"

He has that look on his face again; the prideful one. He doesn't want to admit that he was wrong to try and leave me behind, or show any kind of emotion that would give his thoughts away. "I guess I don't have a choice, do I?"

I smile. "You already made your choice. That's why you came to save me."

The vampire hits the ground with his staff again, keeping his face averted. "Well then… Keep up, little Slayer. I might not be able to save you next time."

I roll my eyes. "Who says I need you to save me?"

* * *

**End Notes**: So, I think I'm gonna be updating more frequently than I thought, ranging from every other day to whenever I can.


	3. Chapter 3: Hope Must Never Die

**Chapter Notes**: I've never been to Thailand, so I apologize if I've seriously messed up the geography.

Also, if you want to know what Kiri's Watcher looks and sounds like, just imagine him as Sir Patrick (David Thewlis) from _Wonder Woman_.

* * *

_You're gonna make it, _

_and the night can only last for so long…_

~ _The Sun is Rising_ by Britt Nicole

* * *

"Does Edmund have any other vampires I need to worry about?"

The little Slayer is one step behind, walking at a slightly faster pace to keep up with me. I don't understand why the Powers That Be don't make Slayers bigger. Their size doesn't put them at a good advantage against bigger demons, like Fyrals, even with their strength in consideration.

"Just Grayson. The one in the coat," I tell her. "But he's not much of a fighter, so you can handle him fine. Leave Edmund to me."

I sense her pause for a brief moment, before she keeps walking. "You know, I've been the Slayer for two years now. I've been trained to handle any demon I meet in battle."

"Is that why Axel threw you around like a rag doll?" I can't help but ask.

"I was about to get up again. Just because I get knocked down, that doesn't make me a bad fighter."

This conversation is going to either take us nowhere, or in a direction I don't want it to. I saw her fighting before I made my entrance; she's a good little Slayer, even if her form could use some work. And Axel was a powerful vampire. Getting knocked down by him isn't something to feel embarrassed about.

Unless you're me, of course.

Still, I don't want her to know what I think of her. I need to keep my distance.

But I can't walk in silence. "You speak good Thai." I'd been surprised when she'd spoken in my own language upon approaching me.

"I can speak ten languages," she says. "The others are English, Maori, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, French, Spanish, Arabic, and Russian. My Watcher taught them to me, since I was little. He used to say that if I ever became the Slayer, there would sometimes be a need to travel to different places, and speaking different languages would be useful. How many can you speak?"

"Many. I lost count," I reply. "All of the ones you can, and then some."

"Can you speak any demon languages?"

I turn and see a wide, excited smile on her face. And I didn't know smiling was contagious, because I almost smile in response before I manage to stop myself. "Yes. The more common ones."

Her smile widens, if that's even possible with how big it was before. "Can you teach me? I always wanted to learn one, but my Watcher said there wasn't a need. Why would I need to know what a demon was saying as I killed it? His words, not mine."

"But there are plenty of peaceful demons you can talk to, all with languages of their own," I say with a frown.

The little Slayer looks resigned. Almost defeated. That's a look a Slayer should never have. "I've found that the Council's teachings are…pretty flawed. And as much as I love my Watcher, he's a pretty firm believer in those teachings. 'All demons are evil, they can't be redeemed, kill them without question, blah-blah-blah'. When I patrol, I prefer to make my own judgements. My Watcher doesn't know about all the demons I've let go, not even the ones he's ordered me to kill specifically."

If that's the attitude of the Watchers Council, then it makes sense why this little Slayer hasn't heard of me. There's no room for me in their 'all demons are bad' mentality, so they wouldn't go around teaching their Slayers about a vampire who kills his own kind. At least my little Slayer knows better than that, and why am I calling her _mine_? She doesn't belong to anyone, least of all me.

"Why don't you talk to him about it?" I ask. If this Watcher cares about his Slayer as much as she cares about him, then maybe he could push his teachings aside and listen to her? She's far more experienced in the field than he is, if he's anything like the other Watchers I've encountered; always standing back and letting their Slayers do all the work.

She sighs. "I want to. One day. I just don't think he'll listen unless he sees the proof with his own eyes." Her eyes suddenly light up. "Maybe if he sees you fighting alongside me, helping me rescue him, then he'll finally understand."

I shrug. Seems plausible. "And I'm not helping you rescue him. _You're_ helping _me_ kill vampires. Rescuing your Watcher is just a bonus."

The little Slayer rolls her eyes, but she's smiling.

I hear a small rumbling sound, and I turn in a full circle with my staff at the ready. I've never heard a demon like that before.

"Sorry. Just my stomach," says the little Slayer. "I'm hungry. I haven't eaten since before I went to sleep."

I relax and try to cover my actions. "I know that was your stomach. I just wanted to make sure there wasn't anything trying to follow us. They're demons out here, and tigers, and all sorts of nasty creatures that could take a bite out of you. Not out of me, though. Of course."

I don't like the look on her face. She can see right through me. How does she do that?

"Is there anything around here I can eat?" she asks.

"There're some mangosteen trees in the area," I reply. I sweep my gaze to survey our surroundings; we're standing on the edge of another clearing. "We should stop and rest. Gather our strength. We'll need it to fight Edmund and his vampires. Go pick yourself some dinner, and I'll set up camp."

She doesn't argue, and wanders off to find a mangosteen tree. I wait until she's out of sight, before I shift into my demon face. I need to go and find my own dinner, and for reasons I can't explain (and don't want to think about), I don't want her to see me hunt it.

The deer are easy enough to track. I've been sensing them in the undergrowth as we've been walking, hiding from us, but not threatened enough to let out their signature barking sound. These creatures are used to being hunted by tigers and humans, but not vampires. I kill one with no effort.

I'm in the middle of draining its blood when I hear footsteps approach. I quickly jump away from the carcass, shift into my human face and wipe the blood away from my mouth. Again, I don't understand why I'm acting this way; she knows I'm a vampire, she knows I need to drink blood to survive. But I don't want her to see me doing it.

There's no time for me to hide the carcass. The little Slayer walks into the clearing; she's removed her scarf and is using it to carry the fruit she's picked. Her gaze is drawn to the dead animal on the ground before returning to me. I expect to see judgement in her eyes; I expect to see horror, disgust, anything that shows me she's not happy with my actions.

But instead I see…understanding. Like she's finally figured something out. "I hope that's not an endangered species."

"It's a muntjac; a barking deer," I explain, and for some reason I feel relieved. I don't like these new emotions. They feel funny. "They're all over the place. Very common. The people here hunt them, too."

"Well, don't let me stop you from enjoying your dinner." She sets herself down on a fallen tree and tucks into her own meal.

I wonder if she'll still be calm if I shift into my demon face. So I do, and I wait for her reaction. It doesn't come; she continues to eat her mangosteens like nothing's happened, like a creature she's supposed to kill isn't standing five feet away from her.

Maybe she really doesn't care.

I finally let myself relax and return to my kill.

* * *

The sun on my face wakes me up, and something tells me I should be worried about that, but I don't know why. I'm not a vampire; the sun won't kill me.

Vampire…

The events of the night before come rushing back to me, and I remember that my new travelling companion is a vampire. And unless he found cover under the trees…

I quickly sit upright. Even the densest of trees have little holes of sunlight breaking through their leaves and branches, unless he managed to hide in a large tree trunk's shadow. And Kamon said he'd take first watch last night. Why didn't he wake me up at sunrise?

"Sleep well, little Slayer?"

I turn and there he is, sat cross-legged by what remains of our fire with his staff resting in his lap…and in direct sunlight.

"How…? You… What the hell?" I don't mean for my question to come out quite so blunt, but I think I can be forgiven. There's a vampire _sitting in direct sunlight_, not even the slightest bit bothered by it. He's not bursting into flames, not even sizzling.

At first, he frowns in confusion. Then his eyebrows go up when he realizes why I'm reacting in shock. "Oh, yes. The sunlight thing. I meant to tell you sooner." He taps the golden band on his head. "This protects me. So long as I'm wearing this – not that I can take it off anyway – I can walk in the sunlight."

"What? Where did you get it?" I've never heard of anything that can magically protect vampires from their weaknesses. "Just sunlight?"

"Just sunlight. I'm still vulnerable to holy relics, stakes, fire, beheadings…" He shrugs. "And it's stuck on my head, so other vampires can't steal it. Not even if they kill me; it'll be destroyed as if it's just an item of clothing I'm wearing. It was given to me as a gift, after I rescued some monks in China from a demon. It's one of the Treasures of the Solar Palace. There were other relics like it, but they were destroyed along with the palace four centuries ago. Oh, except for this."

From out of the small pouch on his belt, he pulls a golden necklace. Its charm is a symbol of a similar design to the one at the front of his gold headband.

"It has the same properties?" I ask.

"Yes. I couldn't decide which one I liked more, so the monks gave me both. I decided on this in the end," He gestures again to the band on his head, "mostly because it helps keep my hair out of my eyes when I fight." He puts the necklace away.

The possibility of a vampire able to walk in sunlight should feel momentous, but when my initial shock fades, I find myself shrugging off the revelation. It's not like I've seen stranger things while patrolling Auckland at night.

"How long have I been asleep?" I ask.

"Several hours." Before I can ask why he let me sleep for so long, he continues, "I thought it'd be best if we attacked during the day, when the vampires will be at a disadvantage."

That actually makes sense. "We should probably get moving then, if we want to reach the ruins before sundown." I get to my feet and brush off the dirt.

Kamon stands as well, staff in hand. "After you."

We start walking. The novelty of a vampire walking in sunlight wears off, and I talk to him like nothing's changed. The topics of discussion aren't important; just random things that come to mind. I notice quickly that he closes up whenever things get too personal, so talking about everyday things is the best way to pass the time.

But somehow, I find myself telling him about my life.

"Demons killed my parents when I was very young," I tell him. "The Watchers Council tracked me down and saved me. They identified me as a Potential, and gave me to Gregory. He raised me. Sometimes I wonder if the demons that killed my parents knew what I was; what I was going to become. And if they wanted me dead, why? Even if they killed me, another Slayer would have been chosen in my place."

"Some demons can see the future," says Kamon. "Maybe you're meant to do something important? And they wanted to stop you from doing it."

"But isn't being the Slayer already important enough?"

"There have been thousands of Slayers, destined for the same purpose. But what they accomplish in their lifetimes is what really matters, and their lives are all very different. Some merely stake a few vampires before they die, others manage to wipe out entire clans. And then there are some who have stopped apocalypses, all on their own." He gestures to the world around us. "Without those few Slayers, we wouldn't be here."

Whenever I thought about how I'd be remembered, I always imagined that my name would be lost in a sea of thousands of other girls who had died in the line of duty. Some names have already been lost to history. Becoming the Slayer makes a girl special compared to others in the normal world, but alongside fellow Slayers, I'm just another girl chosen to fight and eventually die. But to be special even among Slayers…

I shake my head. "There's nothing special about me. I'm just another Slayer. Maybe they saw me kill their cousin, or something, and they wanted to kill me before I could."

"Maybe. Who knows? You'll just have to wait and see."

For a moment there's a smile on his face; an actual, genuine smile. I go to smile back, but his disappears and he draws to a halt. I stop alongside him.

We've reached the city ruins.

What's left of the old City of Ayutthaya is gradually crumbling away, destroyed both by time and the plants taking back what was once theirs. It always makes me sad, seeing ruins of a once great civilization. Even the mightiest can fall, and part of me dreads that it'll happen again one day on a worldwide scale.

"This is a World Heritage Site," I realize. "A National Park. There should be tourists here."

"Edmund and his vampires must have scared them away." Kamon starts walking again, and I follow him until he reaches the building closest to us. He stops and stares up at the structure, before taking a seat on the steps leading up to it.

I remain standing. It suddenly occurs to me that Kamon may be old enough to remember when this city was at the height of its power.

"Did you know this place?" I ask, as I take a seat next to him. Since he's avoided personal questions during our journey, it's unlikely that he'll answer me. But I ask anyway.

He's silent for what feels like hours, but in reality, was probably only minutes. Eventually, he sighs. Using his staff, he begins making a small hole in the ground, and keeps his gaze on his work as he starts talking. "I lived here my entire human life. I was born here. I can't remember what year exactly; it was sometime in the fifteenth century, somewhere in between 1450 and 1460. I stopped counting birthdays a long time ago."

This vampire is over five hundred years old. I can't even imagine all the historical events he might have witnessed.

"When the city was first built, there was a big demon problem," he continues. "My people welcomed all races, human and demon alike, so long as they were peaceful. But the demons who caused trouble nearly brought this city to ruin. So, the first King of the Suphannaphum dynasty recruited the best soldiers from the Palace Guard and the City Guard, and formed an elite force of demon hunters. They were named the Warriors of Vishnu, and it was their sacred duty to protect the city and its people from demon threats. Each member was given a staff that contained great magic," He tapped his own, "created by a great family of sorcerers, who served the King for as long as the city stood. Growing up, I looked up to the Warriors. I wanted to be one. And when I came of age, I signed up for the City Guard, proved my worth, and was chosen."

He stabs at the ground extra hard. "I was young and arrogant. I held the record for the highest kill count, and I let it get to my head. I thought my superiors were holding me back from my true potential, and I got reckless. One night I was patrolling when my…friend came running up to me. Clovis. He was a French trader who lived in the lower levels of the city; he always supported me, always agreed that the other Warriors weren't treating me fairly. He said that a girl had been captured by a vampire and dragged outside the city. Whenever something like this occurred, I was supposed to fetch some other Warriors to help me, in case there was more than one vampire. But that afternoon, I'd had an argument with my superior. I wanted to prove to him that I could do these things myself, that I didn't need any help from the other Warriors. I ran outside the city alone…and it was the last mistake I ever made as a human."

"It was an ambush," I say.

He nods. "Clovis wasn't a trader. He was a vampire. He used me; he turned me and wanted me to help him take over the city. But I refused to let the demon consume me. I killed him, along with his entire clan – and since he was the one who turned me, that made them _my_ clan, too. My vampire family. And I killed every single one of them."

"That's why you're the Kinslayer." It's as I suspected.

"I was ready to let the Warriors kill me," he continues. "But there was a girl… Clovis wanted me to kill her, and instead, I protected her. In return, she stood up for me. She told the Warriors what I had done; told them I'd conquered my demon nature and saved her life. And when I refused to fight them, they realized that I was still one of them. But they feared what would happen if they let me stay. Every vampire we had ever encountered was ruled by its bloodlust. The Warriors were afraid that one day, the bloodlust would be too strong and I would end up killing everyone. So, it was agreed that I would be banished from the city. I was allowed to keep my staff, so I could continue to perform my duty and kill demons, but I could never return home."

I gesture around us. "Until now."

"I've come back here long before now," he says. "I watched from a distance…even when I didn't want to. When the city fell, so did the Warriors. And it had been so long that no one remembered me anymore, so when I tried to help, they thought I was an enemy and drove me away. I could only watch helplessly as my home was destroyed."

I don't know what to say. What _can_ I say in response to a story like that? So, I don't say anything at all. Instead I reach out and take his hand in mine, squeezing it gently to show him that I'm here, and I want to help him in any way I can. He doesn't respond to me, but he doesn't pull away from me, either.

We sit together, two natural enemies at peace in the ruins of a once great city.

I'm not sure how long we sit like that, but eventually Kamon pulls himself out of his memories. He looks down at our joined hands and frowns, before letting go. His eyes meet mine for a moment, and then he turns away, jumping to his feet and tucking his staff under his arm.

"I don't know about you, little Slayer, but I'm ready to kill something."

I guess we're pretending that we didn't just share a moment. It's probably for the best. I already don't know how I'm going to explain working with a vampire to my Watcher – trying to explain that said vampire is also my friend would be way too much for his brain to handle.

"I have a name, you know," I tell him as I stand up, as well. "And it's Kiri. In case you forgot."

He just smirks over his shoulder as he walks away. I can't keep myself from smiling as I hurry to catch up.

We wander through the ruins, looking for any sign of the vampires. Coming to a halt in the middle of a grassy patch, I close my eyes and expand my senses. I ignore the vampire standing beside me and search for any other demon signatures in the area – and it doesn't take me long to find what I'm looking for.

"Over there." I point towards the largest of the ruined buildings. "My Slayer senses are going haywire. There're a lot of vampires in there."

Kamon's grip tightens on his staff. I can tell that he's itching for a fight. "Let's do this." He goes to leap forwards, but I hold my arm out and stop him. He frowns down at me. "What?"

"We can't just go running in there without a plan," I tell him.

"I do that all the time," he says. "Always works for me."

I roll my eyes.

Flashing lights from inside draw our attention back to the ruins. Dark clouds begin to gather overhead, and a sound similar to thunder and lightning echoes throughout the area, but it's not coming from the sky; it's coming from inside. A sudden drop in temperature sends shivers down my spine. In the trees nearby, I see a herd of small deer – the same species as the one Kamon ate last night – scatter in all directions, barking like dogs.

"What's he doing?" It has to be Edmund.

"Whatever it is, it's bad," says Kamon. "Look, we don't have time to make a plan. We need to put a stop to this now."

Reluctantly, I nod. "OK."

Together, we run across the grass and hurry up the steps. The moment we step inside and out of direct sunlight, we're swarmed by vampires. Kamon cuts through them like a hot knife through butter, and as I watch him out of the corner of my eyes, I think that maybe I should get some kind of staff with a stake on the end. Or a spear. It would save me from getting too close to the vampires I kill.

He disappears deeper into the ruins, and I push down the urge to take off running after him. There're still some vampires left to kill, and I know that if I leave them, they'll chase after me a become a problem later down the line. It's better to stake them now and give chase after; the last thing I need is one coming up behind me.

It takes longer than I'm comfortable with to kill them all, but in the end I'm the only one standing. I look down at the stake clasped in my hand; I know I should've carved another one earlier. I would've killed the vampires a lot faster with a stake in each hand. Hindsight is 20/20.

I run in the same direction as Kamon, following the flashing lights. The room I enter is large, with a reasonably-sized hole in the roof, but the sky has grown so dark that there's no sunlight sneaking in. I pause to observe what's happening; Kamon is fighting several vampires and making short work of them, and I notice that he's wearing his demon face.

In the far corner I see my Watcher, alive if a little ruffled. His hair and moustache – brown with a hint of ginger – are a mess, while his own monk robes are torn in places with specks of blood on them. I smile in his direction, but my heart sinks a little when I see the captured monk laying on the floor, dead. There are two puncture wounds in his neck.

Finally, I see the vampire who must be Edmund. He's standing before an alter at the other end of the room, his black robes covering his entire body all the way down to his feet, allowing his pale face to stand out. His brown hair is slicked back, and his eyes are closed as he chants words I can't make out. On the alter I see a sheet of paper, and that's where the magic is coming from.

I'm suddenly grabbed from behind, and my attacker holds me in a tight grasp. He squeezes my hand until I drop my stake.

"Don't move, Slayer." It's Grayson, his breath cold against my neck as he talks.

Edmund opens his eyes. Kamon kills the last vampire and stalks towards him.

"I wouldn't, Kinslayer," says Edmund, his English accent smooth and chilling. He points towards me.

Kamon turns, and his demon face disappears. He snarls in anger at the sight of me in Grayson's clutches, and his grip on his staff tightens. He doesn't dare take a step forwards, and I know why; Grayson is inches away from my neck.

I close my eyes and take a breath.

Then I bite down hard on Grayson's hand.

He lets go of me with a cry of shock, and I strike him in the face with my elbow before turning and striking his head again with a kick. When he stumbles off-balance, I retrieve my stake from the floor and stab it directly into Grayson's heart. I remove it and watch the vampire turn to dust with wide eyes.

With me out of danger, Kamon is free to go after Edmund.

The vampire shoots a ball of magic at him, but Kamon uses his staff to hit it away. Edmund shoots a second, then a third, but Kamon deflects them, too. I see the desperation grow on the vampire's face as he shoots more and more magic without any of it having an effect on his opponent. Then the magic fizzles out; Edmund has used it all up, and the battle is over.

Kamon reaches him and rams his staff into the vampire's chest. With a startled yell, the former Watcher turns to dust.

"Burn it!" my Watcher cries out. "The scripture must be burnt! We need to stop the ritual!"

I race forwards and grab the piece of paper. "Your lighter!"

Gregory reaches into his pocket and takes out his lighter, before tossing it to me. I flick it open and hold it against the paper, which catches alight immediately. I let go of the paper and watch it drift to the floor, and it's nothing but ash by the time it lands. The rumbling thunder and crackling electricity disappears, and the sky outside returns to normal.

My Watcher climbs to his feet and stumbles towards me. "Excellent work, Kiri."

"What was he trying to do?" I ask.

"Bring back a powerful vampire who had died just outside the walls of this city," he replies. "Clovis, I believe his name was."

"My sire," says Kamon.

Watcher and vampire meet gazes, and Gregory's blue eyes narrow. "Kiri Alatini, I hope you have a good explanation as to why there is still a vampire left standing."

I sigh. "This is Kamon. He was helping me. I know that sounds hard to believe, but he's had many chances to kill me, and he hasn't taken them. Kamon, this is my Watcher, Gregory Whitehall."

"I would have thought you'd notice me fighting against the other vampires," Kamon points out. "I am the Kinslayer."

"You are?" A strange look crosses my Watcher's face. "I thought you were a myth."

"Not so much," says Kamon. "Your little Slayer asked for my help in rescuing you. I tried to come alone, but she's as stubborn as a giant."

"Yes, well…" My Watcher clears his throat. "I thank you for your help. Now, if you excuse us, my Slayer and I must be on our way. We need to return to the monastery and inform the monks what has happened here." His gaze turns to the monk lying dead.

Kamon nods. "I understand. If you're unable to return the body, I can burn it for you."

Gregory's eyes narrow even more. "The body has been drained. It is of no use to you."

"I'm aware." Kamon matches my Watcher's stare. "I offered because the body doesn't deserve to be left here unattended."

So much for changing my Watcher's views on good demons. "We should go now," I tell him. I don't want things to get ugly, because I honestly don't know who's side I'd take. "If we walk fast, we can get back to the monastery by nightfall."

"Walking won't be necessary, Kiri," says Gregory. "Now that the threat has been eliminated, we can contact the park rangers and have them drive us back. Come along." He walks away and disappears out the door without a backwards glance.

I sigh and turn to Kamon. "I'm sorry. He doesn't understand, and maybe he never will. But I'm really grateful for your help, so… Thank you."

Kamon nods, and there's that genuine smile on his face again. "You're welcome, little Slayer."

I smile back – and then, before I can stop myself or tell myself it's a bad idea, I leap forwards and hug him.

His entire body goes stiff like he doesn't know how to react, and I don't expect him to return it. He _does_ give me a couple of gentle pats in response, though, which may as well be his equivalent of a show of affection. I'll count that as a win.

I pull back and give him a small wave. "Goodbye, Kamon. Maybe sometime you can visit me in Auckland?" He doesn't say anything to that; he still looks a little surprised by my hug. So, I turn and hurry away to catch up with my Watcher.

And while I suspect I'll never get the chance to see him again, in my heart, I hope I do.

* * *

The monks hold a small funeral for their fallen comrade. When they do, I see smoke rising in the distance, and I'm almost certain it's Kamon burning the monk's body.

My Watcher explains both to me and the other monks what happened; the monk that was taken possessed the original scripture, untranslated. Gregory had been with him, reading through it, when Edmund's vampires attacked the monastery. Grayson took them both, figuring that if one refused to translate, the other could be persuaded. The monk refused, and was killed for his troubles.

Gregory caved and translated. I don't hate him for it; the first rule of being the Slayer is 'don't die'. He knew I was coming for him; he knew I could defeat the vampires before the ritual was complete. And I didn't let him down, even though I had a little help.

He doesn't want to talk about it. We leave the monastery right after the funeral, and a friend of the Council drives us to a hotel right next to the airport. Our flight is tomorrow morning. I change out of my monk robes, putting on my normal clothes and bathing in their familiarity. The robes were really itchy.

I wish he'd talk to me. His silence is putting me on edge, and I hate that I might have disappointed him. But I don't regret my decision; I needed help to find and rescue him, and Kamon was my only option. And there are worse vampires I could have teamed up with; at least Kamon doesn't eat people and hunts other demons. It's not like I'm condemning innocent people to die by letting this vampire walk free.

We're in adjoining rooms, and right when the sun is starting to set, there's a knock at my door. I sigh. I'm both relieved that he's finally going to come and talk to me, and worried about what he might say to me.

"Come in."

Gregory enters my room and shuts the door behind him. Instead of taking a seat next to me on my bed, he remains standing.

When he doesn't talk right away, I start. "I'm sorry, Gregory, but… If you want me to apologize for what I did, I'm not going to. I did what I thought was right."

"You were stupid and reckless, to allow that creature to… You're lucky you're still alive," he says. "After everything I've taught you, you should know better than to trust a vampire. Demons are our enemies, not allies."

"A lot of them are enemies, yes," I tell him, rising to my feet. "But not all of them. The Council says that the world is black and white, but it's not. Things aren't that simple; I've seen it. There are bad humans in this world, and on the flip side, good demons. Kamon is one of them."

"Kamon was deceiving you," my Watcher insists. "Good heavens, Kiri, you only knew him for a day! Be thankful I got you away from him when I did, because had you spent any longer in his company… I cannot even imagine what he would have done to you. He is a vampire, and he is evil."

I clench my fists. "Maybe I haven't known him for very long, but my gut tells me he's good. He told me his story; he fought his demon nature and killed his clan."

"And did he tell you what happened after?" I don't think I've ever seen my Watcher this close to losing his temper; this on edge. "I thought he was only a myth, but I have heard his story; a cautionary tale, warning us to never forget what vampires truly are. Because of his act, the Warriors of Vishnu chose not to kill him, and instead they banished him from the city. It was a foolish mistake. Angered that they weren't hailing him as a hero, Kamon returned to the city and slaughtered every last Warrior. And had I not saved you from him, he would have slaughtered you, too. Never forget who the real enemy is, Kiri."

He walks into his own room and slams the door shut behind him. I fall backwards onto my bed, his words ringing in my ears.

Gregory is my Watcher; the man who raised me. I should trust what he says and understand that he wants what's best for me, but I've always known that his trust in the Council and their teachings is blind.

And yes, I've only known Kamon for a day – but actions speak louder than words, and I've always been able to trust my gut. Kamon told me the truth, while my Watcher lied to me. I won't follow what he says, and I hope one day he'll understand why.

* * *

**End Notes**: I don't know when the next update will be. It'll either be on Friday or Sunday.


	4. Chapter 4: The Breaking Ground

**Chapter Notes**: Like with the previous chapter, I've never been to Auckland, so I apologize if I've seriously messed up with the geography.

* * *

_And just remember keep it together, _

_don't you know you're never alone…_

~ _Be Strong_ by Delta Goodrem

* * *

_Auckland, New Zealand_

_1983, two months later…_

I don't realize there's something wrong with me until I see a vampire appear from the door of an abandoned building. He takes one look at me and runs, his senses screaming at him to flee from his natural enemy; the only girl a vampire fears. I take off after him, but I can't keep up.

I'm out of breath sooner than I should be, my muscles burning with a pain I'm not used to. I haven't felt like this since before I was called as the Slayer. I stop running and rest my hands on my knees, panting for breath.

Then I hear a scream.

It's coming from another direction, and I give up the chase and hurry towards an alley. When I turn the corner, I see a different vampire, a female, pinning a girl against the wall. Her fangs are inches away from the girl's neck.

"Hey!"

The vampire looks up and hisses. "Slayer…" She lets go of her victim, and the girl doesn't waste any time in running away.

I feel woozy from running, and my survival instincts scream at me not to get any closer to the hungry vampire. Taking out a stake from my back pocket, I take aim at the vampire's heart and throw my weapon. The stake misses her completely and clatters to the pavement.

When I'd appeared, the vampire had looked worried. Now she smirks and begins to move towards me. The unfamiliar feeling of fear grows inside me, and I begin to realize there's something drastically wrong with me tonight. But I'm not about to back down and let this vampire get away, so I run forwards to meet her with my fist raised.

Pain explodes in my hand as it collides with her face. I let out a cry and barely notice her lack of reaction to my punch. She quickly retaliates, backhanding me and sending my flying. I land hard on the ground and let out another cry. The force of her hit dazes me; everything is spinning, and black dots appear in my vision. I see a plank of wood lying a few feet away, and I slowly crawl towards it. The vampire laughs at my attempt.

I lean against the wall as I pull myself to my feet. I grab the wood and attempt to break it over my knee, but I can't. I keep trying until I get a splinter in my hand, the prick of pain catching me off-guard by how much I actually notice it. Normally I wouldn't feel a thing. The wood clatters to the ground, and the vampire laughs again. And in that moment, it hits me.

No strength, no speed, no skills.

What use is a Slayer with no powers?

I find myself backing up against the wall as the vampire closes in on me. I wonder how I'm going to get out of this one, until I hear the familiar rumble of thunder.

A small cloud gathers over us, and the vampire looks up at it with a frown of confusion. Then a lightning bolt strikes down, hitting the vampire directly, and she screams before disintegrating into thin air. When the flashing stops, there's nothing left but a pile of ash on the ground before me, and I sigh with relief.

"Shouldn't you be the one doing the saving 'round here?" Ambrose lumbers into view, his brown eyes filled with concern. I wonder how much of the fight he saw.

"I don't know what's wrong with me," I tell him. "It's like my powers have…vanished. Like I'm a normal girl again."

Ambrose retrieves my stake and hands it back to me. He's a Lightning Demon; a neutral breed who have the capacity to be both good and evil depending on the individual. Though according to the Council's resources, they're all evil and cause storms of destruction wherever they go. When disastrous thunderstorms threatened the city, my Watcher sent me to kill Ambrose. But I made a different call, and helped him kill his ex-girlfriend, the demon who was _actually_ behind the storms.

Keeping my disobedience a secret was easy with Ambrose. Lightning Demons look like regular people – husky people, that is. They need their large body mass to store all their electricity, apparently.

"Can that even happen?" Ambrose asks.

I shake my head. "I read the Slayer Handbook a lot when I was growing up. There was nothing in there about the possibility of a Slayer losing her powers."

"Maybe someone's been a naughty girl, and the Powers That Be have un-chosen you?" He's trying to keep his tone light so I don't panic. Too late for that now.

Again, I shake my head. "The Powers That Be can't un-choose me and give my powers to someone else. If they could do that, they would've done it to the few Slayers in history who went bad. There was this one girl who went on a murder spree, and it wasn't pretty. But she didn't have her powers taken away from her; the Council had to kill her. She did more to deserve a punishment like this than me."

All I've done is befriend a vampire who doesn't even kill people. I doubt the Powers That Be hold the same kind of reservations about good demons as the Council.

"Maybe it's a spell?" Ambrose suggests. "Something nasty could be trying to stop you from performing your duty. It could be a demon, or a witch. You should go to Neve; she'll know."

"She also doesn't like to be disturbed unless it's life or death," I say. "My Watcher will know what to do. I'm sure something like this has happened to a Slayer before. I'll ask him, and if he doesn't know, then I'll go to Neve."

It looks like Ambrose wants to argue with me, and for understandable reasons; since the incident with his ex-girlfriend, he's never made an effort to hide his distaste for my Watcher, the man who sent me to kill him. But he holds his tongue, and after running a hand through his brown, curly hair, he sighs. "Do you want me to walk you home?"

"Won't my Watcher see you?"

"Not right up to the front door. I'll stop further down, but keep you in view until you get inside."

I don't want to risk a demon getting me while I'm vulnerable, so I nod. "Thank you."

"Bit of bad luck this is," Ambrose says as we start walking. "Right before your birthday, as well. If you're feeling better, Rose asked me to tell you she'll make you a free meal on the house."

"She doesn't have to do that for me."

"She's in business because of you. And the big One Eight is special. Enjoy it while it lasts."

I shrug, and we continue walking. Since I've only just started my patrol, we're not very far away from my home; a small, second hand bookshop. It's Gregory's cover story, and allows him to store all his volumes on demons and magic without anyone batting an eye.

True to his word, Ambrose lingers a few shops down until I'm inside the front door, and I sense his presence disappear when I shut it behind me. I can still sense demons then, though the senses are duller than normal.

I walk through the shop and into the back room, where my Watcher is sat at his research table with a large book in front of him. The table is filled with minerals and crystals, the same ones he'd emptied out of a box earlier that evening. I still wonder how it benefits my training to know the differences between them. The only one that stands out to me is the big blue mineral in the centre; the Grounding Crystal, my Watcher called it.

I try not to stare at it. I did earlier, and I'd spaced out. I hope Gregory isn't upset that I did; a Slayer should never space out like that, not when a demon could creep up on me at any moment.

"You're back early." My Watcher doesn't look up from his book as he speaks.

"Something's happening to me," I tell him. "Something bad."

He looks up and removes his reading glasses. "Oh?"

I take in a deep breath and hope my news doesn't disappoint him. "My powers are gone. My skills, my strength, my speed, my reflexes… It's like I'm just a normal girl again." I run my hand through my hair. It's starting to grow back, now resembling a pixie cut. "I can't patrol until I get them back. Has anything like this happened before? To the Slayers before me?"

"Not that I know of," he says. He doesn't look concerned, but my Watcher hides his emotions well. "I can consult the Watchers' Diaries tonight. Meanwhile, I suggest you get some rest. We can resolve the matter tomorrow."

I nod. Tomorrow. I'll be back to normal tomorrow, in time for my eighteenth birthday. Nothing to worry about.

I climb the stairs to my room and prepare for bed. I brush my teeth and change into my night gown; plain white and really old fashioned, but my Watcher is an old-fashioned man, and it's all he's willing to buy me.

There's a knock on my door right when I'm about to tuck myself in, and my Watcher enters with a glass of water. "To help you feel better."

I accept it with a smile. "Thank you. Goodnight."

"Goodnight." He shuts the door behind him.

I sit on the bed and take a gulp from the water. As it goes down, I taste something a little off about it, but I can't put my finger on it. I place it on my bedside table, and then the room begins to spin.

I bring my hand up to my head. Maybe this is something to do with the loss of my powers? I'm about to call out for my Watcher, but I can't keep myself upright, and my head falls onto my pillow. The light in my room is too bright, and I close my eyes.

Colours dance across my vision. I can't feel my body; it's almost like my spirit has left it. I wonder if I'm astral projecting – I read about how to do that in a book of spells – but I can't see anything around me. It's like I'm floating in a rainbow sea, spinning uncontrollably in what feels like every direction at once. For a terrifying moment I wonder if this is what death is like, but then the colours begin to disappear and I feel the bed beneath me.

My eyes snap open and I sit upright. I quickly realize that I'm not in my own bed, nor am I in my bedroom. I'm not even in my home.

The room is dark, a single light shining down through a barred window. Moonlight. There's dirt everywhere, and there's nothing in the room apart from the bed and myself. I see a door at the other end of the room, and I stand up on shaky feet in order to try it.

Locked. I shouldn't be surprised.

I try to figure out what's happened. The fact that I can't break off the door handle means I still don't have my powers, and I quickly figure out that this new location and the loss of my powers are connected. The demons that took my powers must have taken me too; they must have broken into my home and kidnapped me. I wonder if my Watcher is still alive. I wonder how long I've been out for. A few hours? A day? A few days?

My dull Slayer senses nag at the back of my head, and I realize why they're trying to get my attention. I move back over to the bed and curl up onto it, terrified of what's going to happen to me for the first time in my life.

There's a vampire somewhere in this building. And I can't defend myself.

* * *

This is the second time in my life where I've woken up starving, trapped, and with no memory of how I got into my current situation. But it can't be a habit if there's a five-hundred-year gap in between, right?

I bolt upright, and the sound of chains jangling together draws my attention to my predicament. There's a big metal cuff around my neck, and I'm chained to a stone wall. My staff is nowhere in sight. I internally curse the ones who did this to me and construct in my mind a list of all the painful things I plan to inflict on them once I escape. I attempt to snap the metal around my neck with my bare hands, but it doesn't budge. I pull against the wall I'm chained to, and it does nothing.

There's moonlight shining through a small window on the opposite side of the room. The chains are long enough to reach, so I stride over to it and jump up to look outside. I grip the bars and place my feet flat against the wall. Outside are buildings, but they look abandoned. In the distance I hear traffic, and I guess I'm being held in a building on the outskirts of some kind of city.

I hear footsteps approaching, and I jump down. I debate whether or not to hide by the door and jump the person who walks in, before I decide against it. If these people are smart enough to catch me, then they're smart enough to see a plan like that coming.

And they are 'people', not demons. I can hear two heartbeats.

I stand in the centre of the room and wait with my arms crossed behind my back. The door opens, and two men enter the room. The first one has a tranquilizer gun, several stakes fastened to his belt, and a large metal cross hanging around his neck. No uniform, but clearly a military type, and young. The second man has no weapons, but holds a wooden cross in his hands and is dressed in a business suit. His hair is grey, and he looks old.

The second speaks when the door is closed. "I believe I am addressing the Kinslayer?"

"The one and only," is my automatic response, and while I present a nonchalant expression, underneath that I'm angry and confused. The man is well-dressed and British, and fits the bill of a Watcher.

My little Slayer is ever present in my mind; I know I should forget her, but even the memory of her is stubborn.

Captured by Watchers two months after meeting a Slayer can't be a coincidence, and trying to figure out what's going on brings forth a new emotion: fear. If something's happened to my little Slayer…

And here I go again, referring to her as 'mine'. I can't stop myself.

The Watcher begins to pace. "According to a report we received from Gregory Whitehall, you assisted the current Slayer in saving him from a former employee of ours, who was tragically turned many centuries ago. We thought you were nothing more than a myth, a demon who hunts his own kind, and some stories we heard were…unkind to you, so to speak. One rumour that had been spread among the Council is that after you were banished from your home, you returned and slaughtered the Warriors of Vishnu."

I frown. If that's the story they've been hearing, it's no wonder they think of me as just another vampire. I keep my anger down, using every ounce of self-control I have. "That is a lie. I killed the Clan of Clovis out of duty to the Warriors; why would I turn on them?"

"Because you are a vampire, and that is your nature."

I snarl. "If you opened your eyes, you'd see that not all vampires are the same."

"Hmm." The Watcher considers me. "That is why we have brought you here. The Slayer seems to trust you, and that counts for something. We have a demon problem, and if you kill it for us, then we will consider you an ally."

Well. That's unexpected.

I gesture with one hand to my cell and the chains. "This isn't the best welcoming committee, if that's the case."

"We had to take precautions," says the Watcher.

I raise an eyebrow. "And the Slayer can't kill this demon for you?" Without even meaning to, I start silently praying to Vishnu that nothing's happened to her…

"The Slayer is otherwise occupied with other matters," the Watcher responds. I hide my relief. "And as I said, we are taking the opportunity to see if you are friend or foe."

"I don't take orders from anyone," I tell him. "But, if you tell me about this demon, I can kill it on my own terms."

"The demon is a shapeshifter," he explains. "Recently it has been targeting members of the Council, including Watchers and Potential Slayers. We believe that its next target is the Slayer herself."

I refuse to let him see my worry. "You want me to kill it before it gets that far."

"Exactly." The Watcher nods. "Be warned; this shapeshifter can look into your thoughts and see the person you care for most in this world. It then takes that form to not only deceive you, but to make it harder for you to kill it should you figure out its true nature."

"That won't be a problem." I don't know why he's telling me this; a vampire can smell a shapeshifter a mile away. I don't remind him of this fact, because I'm too busy worrying that this demon could take the form of my little Slayer.

I really need to stop calling her 'mine'.

"Excellent. Once my colleague and I have left the building, you will be released from your chains." He gestures to the chains in question. "Our latest reports states that the demon has been using this building as a hideout; if it has not returned already, then it should soon. We thank you for your help, Kinslayer. And remember: Even though this creature is wearing the face of the one you care for, you should not hesitate to kill it immediately."

I roll my eyes. "I know how to do my job. Now go, so I can do it."

He nods his head, and right before both men leave, he says one last thing. "Your staff is right outside." They don't lock the door behind them, and I listen to their footsteps and heartbeats grow further away.

I don't have to wait very long to be let loose.

I'm not sure how it works, but the cuff around my neck pops open, and I immediately throw it off. In a flash I'm out the door, and there's my staff, resting against the wall. I snatch it up and survey my surroundings.

I'm standing in a hallway. I sniff the air, and frown in confusion. If the demon has been using this building as a hideout, then the building would reek of that demon. But the only demon I can smell is me, and that immediately puts me on alert. Have the Watchers set me up? Suddenly wanting me, a vampire, as an ally sounded too good to be true, even with what happened with my little Slayer.

The fear returns. If this is a set-up to exterminate me, what about her? I doubt they would take too kindly to a Slayer working with a vampire…

I hear a heartbeat. I hurry towards it.

I haven't gone far when I come to a door, locked from the outside. The heartbeat is on the other side. I unlock the door and enter.

I freeze.

My little Slayer is curled up on the bed in a white night gown, trembling in fear.

Her smell is her own; she's not a demon. She's locked in with me, and there's no demon. They said that this shapeshifter would take the form of someone I care about. And as much as I don't want to admit it, I care about this Slayer.

They set me up to kill her.

I tighten my grip on my staff. Those Watchers are dead men.

* * *

My Slayer senses are still dull, but they work enough for me to know when the vampire is on the move. I can do nothing by lay still as I sense the creature approach, and I hold back my gasp when it opens the door. I keep still; maybe if the vampire thinks I'm asleep, I can take it by surprise and run past it out the door…

"Kiri?"

I gasp, and my eyes snap open. I know that voice.

"Kamon?" I sit upright. Maybe I'm just hearing things, maybe it's just wishful thinking and I'll find another vampire standing over me…

But it's him. The familiarity of his face and his armour and his staff is overwhelming, and I can't help the relieved sob that escapes me. And before I can stop myself, I'm running to him and embracing him, burying my face in his chest. He goes still like before, and that's all the proof I need to know that it's really him and not some kind of vision.

He doesn't hug me back, but that's OK. And maybe I'm overreacting, but I thought I was going to die tonight. I'm helpless, and he's my friend. Cut me some slack.

His hand pats me twice. "I'd appreciate some room, little Slayer."

"Oh. Sorry." I step back and smile at him. "What are you doing here?" I asked him to visit, and wouldn't it be phenomenal luck for him to visit when I need him most?

He looks me over, and I watch as the surprise melts away from his face, replaced instead with anger. "You're weak… You didn't hug me as hard as you could've…" His gaze meets mine. "What have they done to you, little Slayer?"

"They?" I ask. "You know what demons did this to me? They took my powers away; I can't fight back, and…" I trail off as I sink down onto the bed.

There's a look on his face I don't like.

"I'm sorry," he says, his voice quieter than I've ever heard it. He sits down next to me. "This wasn't demons."

I frown. "Then who else could it be? Witches?"

"Watchers."

At first, the word doesn't register in my head. Then when it finally does, and my memory confirms that he did in fact say 'Watchers', I shake my head. "No… No, you have to be mistaken… They wouldn't…"

The Watchers Council is supposed to train and guide the Slayer, not plot to kill them. The very thought of them being the ones behind this – taking my powers, leaving me helpless – is unreal. It can't be true. And yet, the expression on Kamon's face is a mixture of anger and sympathy.

"I'm sorry," he repeats. "They captured me and locked me up in another room. One of them came to me and said they needed my help in killing a demon; a shapeshifter. But there's no scent of one; there's no demon living here. And he said that the demon would take a certain…form. A form I'm familiar with, and insisted that I kill it on sight. Now, I don't know about you, but with that information and finding you here…"

There's no mistaking this situation for what it is. "They set you up to kill me. And they made sure I wouldn't be able to fight back. But why…"

"You said yourself that their teachings are flawed," he continues. "They believe that all demons are evil and need to be killed. I don't think they liked you making an alliance with one."

The more I think about it, the more it makes sense. They want Slayers to kill demons without mercy, even if the demons are peaceful and harmless. I don't – and that makes me useless to them.

"They want me dead…" It's a big pill to swallow.

"They didn't do a good job," he says. "They forgot that a vampire can smell when someone's a shapeshifter. Or they don't know that. But what is this about you being powerless?"

"My Slayer powers are gone," I tell him. "My strength, speed… All gone. I can still sense demons, but not as well as I normally can. But how did they take my powers away? Can they give them back to me?"

"I don't know."

I try to remember everything I did before my last patrol, but I'm coming up blank. And wouldn't Gregory have known there were other Watchers in the city?

Gregory.

"How did they get past my Watcher?" I say aloud. "He never would have let this happen."

Kamon frowns. "Are you sure?"

"Yes!" I insist. "I mean, he agrees with the Council's teachings, but he would never hurt me. The Council probably went behind his back."

"Are you _absolutely_ certain of that?"

"Yes, Kamon. He's raised me since I was a child; I'm basically his daughter. Once I tell him what's happened, he'll be on my side. I'm sure of it."

The vampire nods. "Alright. I can come with you, and we'll explain together."

I shake my head. "No. If he sees you, he'll freak out and won't listen to me. I'll go alone and tell him. Why don't you go and see where the other Watchers are?"

He doesn't look happy with the arrangement, but nods anyway. "Fine. Let's go now."

It doesn't take us long to escape the building, and once we're outside I recognize where we are: in a district of empty buildings, abandoned due to underground volcanic activity in the area. It's also not far from my home, and it takes us ten minutes to walk there. I fold my arms across my chest, all too aware of the fact that I'm walking around in just my night gown. The ground is cool against my bare feet, and I'm careful not to step on anything sharp.

Like Ambrose did before, Kamon walks me back within distance of my home, then waits until I've opened the door. He disappears from my senses, but they're dull anyway, so it's not surprising.

My Watcher is standing in the main area of the shop, and he looks surprised to see me. "Kiri?"

"I don't know how long I've been gone, but I was taken," I explain. "Gregory, this is gonna be hard for you to hear, but it's the hundred percent truth. I swear it. The Council is trying to kill me. They're the ones who've taken my powers, and they locked me in a building with a vampire, but the vampire was Kamon, so he didn't kill me. They told Kamon I was a shapeshifting demon so he'd kill me straight away, but he knew it was me, and I think they're angry that I made an alliance with him to rescue you…" I trail off when I observe the book shop.

They're boxes everywhere. My Watcher is packing up the shop.

Gregory sighs. "You've caught me at a rather bad time, I'm afraid."

"You're leaving… Oh, they told you I was dead, didn't they? The Council… Well, they lied. I'm alive, so you don't have to leave. We can find a way to get my powers back and fight the Council."

My Watcher walks slowly towards the counter and steps behind it. He doesn't meet my gaze, not even when he starts to speak. "The ritual's full name is Tento di Cruciamentum, but most just call it the Cruciamentum. It is a rite of passage that goes back generations; a time-honoured tradition that the Council has never failed to uphold. If a Slayer should reach her eighteenth birthday, then the Council deems it necessary to test her; to make certain that she lives up to her true potential. Using a special…potion, let's call it, it is the duty of the Slayer's Watcher to inject it into her bloodstream, thus removing her of her powers. Once she is powerless, the Council locks her in a confined space and sets her up against an opponent whom she must defeat in combat, using only her whit to survive."

I can't believe what I'm hearing. My Watcher knew all along what was happening – he'd been the one who took my powers. I remember the crystal he asked me to examine, I remember spacing out and not knowing how much time had passed, and that must have been when he injected me with this…this stuff that took my powers away. The betrayal cuts deep, but if I'm alive…

"This was all a test? So, if I'm alive, does that mean I pass?"

He sighs. "I'm afraid it's not that simple. You see, under most circumstances, it _is_ a test. A number of Slayers have passed and have been better for it. But sometimes, the test is used for other purposes. The Council prefers our Slayers to be docile; to always do as she's told. But every now and again, we get Slayers who are too outspoken, too independent, and all too willing to make alliances with the very creatures she's supposed to kill. These Slayers are problematic, and threaten everything the Council has worked so hard to achieve. In these cases, the test is used to dispose of them."

His words sink in. My Watcher was part of the plan.

I shake my head and back away slowly. I'm in so much shock that I don't have the energy to run. "No…" Tears start to blur my vision. This man raised me…

"Kiri, my dear, you weren't supposed to be tested…" From behind the counter he brings out a gun and points it at me, "…you were supposed to die."

The gunshot is deafening, and all I know is pain.

* * *

I don't trust her Watcher.

Something about that man rubs me the wrong way, and not because he doesn't like me. Well, not _only_ because he doesn't like me.

I want to do as she says and track down these other Watchers. I want to make them feel the pain they themselves wanted to inflict on my little Slayer. But making sure my little Slayer is safe is more important, and while she may trust her Watcher, I don't. There's a very good chance he's part of this plan to kill her, regardless of him being the one who raised her. I've seen parents beat their children within inches of their lives; I've killed those same parents.

So, I turn and hurry back to her home. I can't hear what they're saying, at first because I'm too far away and then because I'm too focussed on running. I reach the road and see the front door still open, her shadow visible in the light shining out of it. It makes me pause, and that's when I hear the words; the words that I know will forever haunt my nightmares for years to come.

"…you were supposed to die."

The words are followed by a gunshot, and her shadow disappears.

"KIRI!"

I sprint down the street. I'm almost there when I see her dragging herself out the door, one hand pressed against the wound in her chest. Blood is pouring out of her, staining her night gown, and never has it looked so unappealing to me.

Her eyes meet mine. They're wide and terrified, filled with tears.

"Kamon…"

I hear footsteps inside the building, getting closer. Her Watcher.

Immediately I jump forwards, placing myself between her and the man trying to kill her. There's a gun in his hand, and he's ready to fire again, but pauses at the sight of me.

"You…" His finger is on the trigger, ready. "You were supposed to kill her."

"And you were supposed to protect her." I move faster than he can react, jumping forwards and swinging my staff in one smooth motion. It glows with magic and slices into him.

He's dead in seconds, dropping his gun before his body collapses to the floor.

I immediately shrink my staff and tuck it into my bracelets, before hurrying back to my little Slayer.

"Kamon…" Her breathing is rugged, and the blood isn't stopping. "I don't…wanna die…"

"I won't let you." I gather her into my arms. She feels so weak and frail, and it's not how a Slayer should be. "Where's the nearest hospital?"

She shakes her head. "Neve… A witch… Healer… She can…help…"

It's a better option. The Watchers could find her in a hospital. "Where?"

"One…Tree…Hill…"

I see the hill in the distance. It's not far.

Police sirens echo through the streets. Someone must have called them about the gunshot.

I tighten my arms around my little Slayer, and I take off running.

* * *

**End Notes**: I won't leave you guys hanging for long; I'm hoping to update tomorrow.


	5. Chapter 5: Until I Met You

**Chapter Notes**: This is the last chapter that follows Kiri and Kamon. We'll be returning to Sunnydale in the next chapter.

* * *

_Let's run away, _

_I'll run away with you…_

~ _Run Away with Me_ by Carly Rae Jepsen

* * *

Her heartbeat keeps me going. So long as I still hear it, I'll keep running.

My little Slayer is swimming in and out of consciousness, and I repeatedly call her name to keep her awake. She doesn't speak, though she makes these pained whimpering sounds, and every time I hear one it feels like a stake to the heart. There's a very good chance that my little Slayer could die tonight, and I'm helpless to do anything about it.

"Don't die, little Slayer," I whisper in her ear.

I can't turn her. I won't subject her to my fate. She hunts in the dark, but she's a creature of the light. I could never do that to her.

Upon reaching the park surrounding and containing the hill, I soon realize that I have no idea where to find this witch. The hill is large, and she could be anywhere. Trying to find her will take time, something my little Slayer doesn't have.

"Kiri?" I give her a little shake. "Where is she?"

She doesn't verbally respond, but manages to raise a finger and point upwards. My gaze follows its direction and I see the obelisk at the top of the hill, illuminated by moonlight.

I hope the pain is preventing her from giving me the right answer, because an attempt to climb the hill would take too long. My little Slayer will be dead before I reach the top. The feeling of fear and helplessness washes over me again, and I hate it. I'm a Warrior of Vishnu; I shouldn't be feeling either of these emotions. What has this Slayer turned me into?

I growl and pull her tighter to my chest. If I can't take her to the witch, maybe I can call the witch to me. If she's powerful enough to heal this wound, then she's powerful enough to hear me from a distance. "The witch who lives here, the one named Neve, come to me now! I am the Kinslayer, and I order you to show yourself!"

I'm prepared to keep yelling all night, but I don't need to. A small portal appears in the air before me, and a woman steps through it. Light skin, dark blonde hair cut in a bob, green eyes. She's wearing a long green tunic over brown trousers, and a pair of long brown fingerless gloves. I notice a curved knife attached to her belt; her hand is hovering above it, ready to draw it should she need to.

"Why do you disturb me, Kinslayer?" she asks. Before I can reply, she answers her own question when she sees the Slayer in my arms. "Kiri!"

"She was shot by her Watcher," I explain.

"Bring her in." Neve spins on her heel and hurries back through the portal in the air. I don't hesitate to follow.

Somehow, I know we're inside the hill; the walls, ceiling and floor are made of dirt. There are books and all sorts of spell ingredients scattered about, and a small mattress on the floor in the corner. This is where the witch leads me, and I place my little Slayer down on top of the bedding.

"Can you help her?" I ask.

"I have to be quick, but I can save her," says the witch. She hurries over to one of the shelves and grabs an armful of white candles before bringing them back over. "Stand them in a circle around her."

I take half of them from her and stand them up around the mattress. "What for?"

"The spell. I need to recite a healing sutra before I remove the bullet and seal the wound. I may need your help with the second part."

I nod. I've had to seal my own wounds before with my tongue. "There's something else. The Watchers took her powers away. I assume this includes her Slayer healing."

Neve pauses only briefly, before continuing to light the candles. "Of course. I have heard of such a test. If I had known she was close to turning eighteen…"

"What do you mean?"

Before she can answer, her eyes widen and she returns her gaze to my little Slayer. In that moment I realize the room is quieter than it was before.

Her heart has stopped.

"Bring her back!"

"Get out of the circle!"

I leap over the candles and stand as far away as I can. Neve places her hands onto Kiri's chest and begins to speak, chanting something under her breath that I can't make out. Strands of blue magic form in her hands and begin to swirl around the wound, glowing with energy. Neither witch nor Slayer move a muscle, and I stand watching them for what feels like an eternity.

Her heart starts again.

I move towards them, but I don't dare enter the circle. "Was she…?" I can't keep the slight tremble out of my voice.

"She was dead for about a minute, but I managed to draw her spirit back," says Neve. She rips Kiri's night gown and removes the fabric from the wound. "She's been poisoned. As soon as her wound is sealed, I need to draw the poison out of her. Then her Slayer healing can take over."

"Poison?"

"Given to her by her Watcher," Neve explains as she works. She's created a thread of blue magic, and is lowering it into the open wound. "When a Slayer turns eighteen, the Watchers Council subjects her to a 'test'; they claim it helps the Slayer discover her full potential, but in reality, it is nothing more than a barbaric exercise in cruelty. After all, the rough translation of Cruciamentum is 'torment'." She pulls the thread back up with the bullet attached to the end. "By taking her powers away and leaving her helpless against a monster, they show the Slayer that while she may have the strength to fight the forces of darkness, they're the ones in control. Should the Slayer survive, and not many have, the experience installs fear into her, and discourages her from disobeying the Council. But the test has also been used to dispose of any Slayers the Council deem to be 'problematic'."

The more I hear, the angrier I get. I have no doubt that my little Slayer falls into the latter category; they tried to kill her because of her alliance with me, and her refusal to slay the benign demons. I want to leave and slaughter every single Watcher responsible for my little Slayer's pain; slaughter them like they claimed I'd slaughtered the Warriors of Vishnu. But I know that doing so would bring more harm than good.

"They've become just as bad as the monsters they're duty-bound to fight," I say.

"I agree. Come here. We need to seal the wound."

I cautiously enter the circle and take a look at the wound. Its surrounded by blue magic; Neve's power is stabilizing it, but it still looks bad.

In order to close it, I'll have to taste her blood. I won't be feeding off her, I assure myself; I'll be saving her life. Even with that assurance, it's still something that both terrifies and excites me all at once. The latter feeling shames me until I realize it's coming not from my demon's desire to feed, but from another desire entirely.

My first instinct is to run and escape the feeling. But I can't leave her, so I stay.

I shift into my demon face, and slowly lean forwards. I need to be careful; I've kept my demon under control for five hundred years, but Slayer's blood is the demon equivalent of the Water of Life. It's the only thing that could potentially break my control over the demon. And if that happens, and I drain her dry…

I swipe my tongue across the wound, and the first thing I taste is the poison. But it's only a thin layer covering the power it supresses underneath. As I continue to close the wound, a small part of me comes to understand why some vampires are addicted to Slayer's blood; its taste is unlike anything else in this world, and its power will keep me sated for days.

But I'm not enjoying this. Kiri isn't food; she's someone I care for who's hurt, and I only want to make her better. I take no pleasure in tasting her blood, and the only desire I feel has nothing to do with her blood and everything to do with _her_. I keep picturing her with no clothes on, her bare skin unmarked with no pain nor blood in sight, and in my mind my licks become kisses as I worship her body…

I pull back the second I'm certain the wound is closed, and my demon face disappears.

Neve returns to my side with a bowl of water and a damp cloth, which she uses to clean away the blood around the wound. She takes care not to aggravate it, and I see the worry in her eyes. The Slayer is her friend, too.

"Why didn't you tell her about the test?" I demand.

She sighs. "It is as I said; I didn't know Kiri was turning eighteen so soon. I thought she was younger. If I had known, I would have told her immediately."

"Telling her may not have prevented it," I admit. "She's stubborn. She refused to even consider the possibility of her Watcher being involved, at least until he…" I gesture to the unconscious Slayer. "But he won't hurt her again. I killed him."

"The Council will come after you. Both of you."

"Let them. We'll fight them together."

I make the decision with those words; I'm not leaving this Slayer's side. And if anything ever happens to her, it'll only be because I'm dust.

When the wound is clean, Neve places her hands onto Kiri's chest again. Her hands glow blue, and she pulls a dark mass out of the Slayer's body; the poison. She then quickly places it inside a glass bottle and secures it with a cork.

"Her Slayer healing should take care of the rest, but I can give her something to speed up the process," says the witch, as she gets to her feet. "After a good night's rest, she'll be as stubborn as ever by tomorrow."

She stumbles, and I quickly shoot to my feet in order to steady her.

"Looks like she's not the only one who needs rest."

"I used a lot of power to keep her alive," Neve admits. "It's nothing some light meditation can't fix."

"I can watch over her."

Neve nods. She retrieves an oil which she rubs on my little Slayer's chest, and then covers her with a blanket to hide her exposed skin. When she's satisfied, the witch retreats into another section of her hideaway.

I find a stool and pull it over to the mattress. I sink onto it and try to push my worries away, but they won't leave me. I won't stop worrying until my little Slayer is healed and awake and smiling again. And in my head, I've been referring to her as 'mine' again, all night long. I haven't been correcting myself.

I can't take my eyes off her. In the short time I've known her, she's turned my life on its head, and I don't even care.

Without meaning to, I start talking. "I've been alone for over five hundred years. I brought dishonour upon the Warriors of Vishnu because I was a fool, and isolating myself seemed like the best punishment. I continued to hunt demons, thinking that one day I could make up for what I did…but even then, I never thought I'd ever again have the chance to fight for something that truly mattered. Until I met you."

I reach out and gently stroke her hair. "The Council may think of you as an insignificant Slayer, just another face in a crowd of thousands. But you are the bravest and wisest little Slayer I've ever met, and if the Warriors of Vishnu were still around, I would make you an honorary Warrior in a heartbeat. And I…"

I stop myself. The words on the tip of my tongue… It's too soon to say them.

* * *

It takes me a moment to figure out where I am when I open my eyes. I recognize Neve's hideaway, but why am I here? Did I get hurt on patrol?

There's someone lying next to me, and I turn to find Kamon's head resting on my shoulder, his body curled around me. I smile when I see his fingers partially in his mouth, like he's been sucking them during the night, but my good mood fades when I remember why I'm here and why Kamon is with me.

I refuse to cry again. I'm the Slayer; I need to be strong and move forwards. I push down my feelings of sadness and betrayal before I discard the sheets covering me and climb off the mattress. Kamon's head falls onto the pillow, but he doesn't wake up.

When I'm on my feet, I look myself over. The top of my night gown is ripped and covered in blood, but the wound beneath is practically gone, leaving behind only a small scar which I know will also be gone soon enough. On top of my Slayer healing, Neve must have given me something to speed the healing along. And if my Slayer healing is back, then so are my other powers. I sigh with relief.

"I see you've decided to join us." I turn to see Neve walking towards me with a smile on her face. "Your vampire gave me a fright when he turned up on my doorstep with you bleeding in his arms."

I go to tell her that Kamon isn't my vampire, but I stop myself. Referring to Kamon as mine… It feels right. I look to him again; he's still sleeping. "Why is he still…?" Being a vampire, I should have woken him when I moved, and the two of us talking should definitely rouse him…

"He wouldn't sleep," says Neve. "He was determined to watch over you, but he needed some rest, too. So, I sprinkled some sleep dust onto him."

Hearing that gives me a warm feeling in my chest, and I hold onto it tightly. The feeling drives away the despair I'm close to falling into; pushed there by my Watcher's betrayal. "Am I…OK?"

She sighs. "I won't lie. For a minute, your heart stopped, but I managed to bring you back. I removed the bullet, sealed the wound and drew the poison out of you. Now, the only hurts left to heal are the ones in your mind and heart."

I know what she means, but I don't want to talk about it. Instead I ask, "Do you have any clothes for me?"

"I'm sure I have something that'll fit." In her eyes I see worry, but I ignore it.

Neve has some normal clothes that she wears whenever she needs to go out into the city. She gives me some underwear, some jeans, a t-shirt, a hooded jumper and a pair of trainers. I change into them quickly, and I keep my focus on dressing myself so I don't think about the fact that I'd died…

Just as I finish tying up my shoelaces, I hear a crash from around the corner.

"Kiri!"

I guess the sleep dust wore off.

I hurry into the main area and see my vampire standing with his staff in both hands, ready to tear the place apart in search of me. A stool has been flung across the room, and I quickly catch his attention before he can inflict anymore damage. "Kamon, I'm here! I'm OK. I just needed to get out of that night gown."

Kamon looks at me, and for a moment I see amber flashes in his eyes, fuelled by rage and terror greater than I've ever seen in anyone. The flashing stops when his gaze falls on me, and his readiness to fight leaves his body in one smooth motion. He even drops his staff. This time his eyes fill with relief and something that could only be happiness, and then he's across the room and scooping me up into his arms, pulling me tightly against him.

He's hugging me. Kamon is _hugging_ me.

Seeing me almost die must have brought it out of him. And I'm definitely not complaining.

"Don't you _ever_ do that again! You're not allowed to die, little Slayer. I forbid it."

I can't help but giggle at his actions. "I'll try not to."

Moments pass, and then he goes still. I was hoping it would take him longer to realize what he's doing. He puts me down, pulls away and steps back, then reaches out and pats me on the shoulder.

"It's good to see you back on your feet, little Slayer."

I roll my eyes, but my smile doesn't leave. "Are you ever going to stop calling me that?"

He pretends to think, then sends me a smirk. "I'll take it into consideration, if from now on you only refer to me as The Brave and Handsome Kinslayer."

I slap his shoulder. "In your dreams."

The chuckle that escapes him is a beautiful sound, and it does funny things to my insides. I feel a blush starting to creep up on me, but I push it down and focus on more important matters. "What happened to…?" I can't bring myself to say his name. I know that if I do, the dam will burst and I can't let that happen at a time like this.

Kamon thankfully knows who I'm talking about. "He's dead."

I nod, understanding. If Kamon had left him alive, he would've just tried to kill me again. And it's not just sadness and betrayal I feel; there's anger in there too, that the man who raised me would willingly turn his back on me, and follow the orders of men who wouldn't hesitate to do the same to him. He could've chosen to stand against them, but he didn't. I push my anger down, too.

"I don't know what to do…" I speak my thoughts aloud as they come to me. "My whole life, I've done what others tell me to do. Well, mostly. I can't go back home, so…where _do_ I go? What do I do?"

Kamon picks up his staff and leans against it, one hand behind his back. "Do you still want to perform your duty as the Slayer?"

I find myself nodding. My desire to protect people from evil and make the world a better place is still there, and maybe now I can do it without the need to hide anything from my Watcher. I can openly help benign demons along with regular people, and maybe even deal with evil humans who can be just as bad as evil demons. I've always suggested it in the past, and my Watcher always turned me down.

"Yes, I do," I tell him. "But I can't stay here, can I?"

"No," he agrees. "We need to keep moving. If we don't stay in one place, then we can keep one step ahead of the Council."

It takes me a moment to realize what he's said. "We?"

"I'm coming with you, little Slayer." He smiles, and it's that genuine one I've been seeing in my dreams for the past couple of months. "I think it's about time that we both stop fighting alone."

I don't tell him that I technically haven't been on my own; my Watcher's actions only prove how alone I've really been. So instead, I return his smile.

* * *

It's a shock to learn how much time I've missed. When Neve tells me today's date, I realize that two days have passed since my failed patrol, and I've missed my birthday completely. Whatever it was that my Watcher gave me before bed (because he definitely gave me something, I know that now), it knocked me out for twenty-four hours. I know this because Neve says Kamon brought me to her last night, the day after I lost my powers. I'd just assumed it was the same night…

Then I slept for the rest of the night, and through most of the day, only waking up around noon. It's no wonder I'm thirsty and starving.

Neve gives me water and some food to eat, and suggests that I should wait until I have my strength back before I leave with Kamon. Even though my powers have returned, being unconscious for so long – and being shot – has left me feeling woozy. My body has been through a lot in forty-eight hours, and Neve wants to make sure I'm completely healthy again before leaving.

Considering the Council is still out there, I understand why she's concerned.

The sun has set when she finally lets me go. I thank her and even give her a hug; since Kamon mentioned we'll have to stay on the move, there's no telling when I'll see her again. There're a lot of friendly faces in Auckland I'll have to leave behind, and they deserve to know that I'm leaving; they deserve a goodbye.

"There's something I have to do before we leave," I tell Kamon, as we make our way through the streets of the city. I've lifted my hood over my head, hiding my face in case the Council are out looking for me. Not that it matters much; Kamon sticks out like a sore thumb, wearing his armour. At least he's shrunk his staff and tucked it into his hair. "I need to tell a couple of friends what's happened, and say goodbye to them."

"Fair enough," he says. "Where are these friends of yours?"

"They should be down at _Monroe's_. It's a pub that caters to demons," I explain. "I'm friends with Rose, the owner. She's a half-breed. And there's a regular who goes there; Ambrose. He's a Lightning Demon. He actually saved me the other night when I first lost my powers."

"Then we'll stop there first." He nods. "What about your home? Do you have any belongings you need to retrieve?"

The thought of going back there fills me with dread, and I shake my head. "I was never really allowed to have any belongings. My…Watcher said there was no need for them in a Slayer's life. I'm not attached to any of my clothes. There are weapons, I guess, but none of them are worth it. I can't…"

"I understand." He pats my shoulder. "We can buy you some weapons, and some new clothes."

That's something I never considered. "I don't have any money. My Watcher always bought me food and clothes and anything else I needed."

"I have money," he says. "I've earned it by taking bounties on demons. Until this century, I've rarely had a need for it, but in this day and age…"

I wonder how much money he has. I can only imagine how much interest he's collected over five hundred years. But I don't ask. "I don't want to be a burden."

"It's no burden if it's what I want." He gives me that smile again, and my argument dies in my throat.

Maybe I should be worried about my fluttering heart. Kamon is my friend, and we're going to be spending a lot of time together. I can't make things awkward between us by developing…feelings for him. It'll be so easy to let it happen, after he's saved my life; after I've seen first-hand how well we work together as a team.

But I can't let myself fall for him. He's a powerful vampire who's lived for over half a millennium. I'm just another Slayer who's lived barely a fraction of that time. He'd never be interested in me in that way.

It doesn't take us long to walk to _Monroe's_, and I lead Kamon inside. I'm used to my Slayer senses going haywire as I walk through the door, and I relax at the familiarity of it. The customers around us are mostly demons, though I spot some humans, too. Out of habit I scan the crowd, making sure there aren't any demons around intending to cause trouble; Rose only serves the ones who are harmless. I wonder if Kamon is her first vampire customer. Rose definitely hasn't mentioned any vampires peaceful enough to be accepted here…

As we walk further inside, I spot Ambrose sat in his usual corner. The table in front of him is filled with food, though he doesn't look like he's enjoying it, which is a first.

I make my way over to his table with Kamon behind me. "Don't tell me Rose has actually overcooked your food?" I ask him when I get there.

He looks up, and his eyes widen at the sight of me. "Kiri? You're alive?" Before I get the chance to respond he leaps to his feet, almost knocking the table over. Then he rushes forwards and gives me a big hug. "I thought you were dead! When I saw the news…"

"News?"

"You mean you don't know?" He frowns. "The police found your Watcher dead in the shop, and your blood was all over the floor. Then the story was covered up, and the police are acting like it never happened. What _did_ happen, Kiri?"

I don't want to talk about it, but Ambrose deserves to hear it from me. "My Watcher and the Council tried to kill me. But Kamon rescued me." I gesture to my vampire. "He's my friend. Kamon, this is Ambrose. Ambrose, Kamon."

The demon's frown deepens. "You're the first vampire I've seen who's on good terms with the Slayer."

"You may know me better as the Kinslayer," says Kamon, lowering his voice so no one else around us can hear.

Ambrose takes a step back, eyes wide.

"It's OK, he's not here to kill anyone," I assure him.

"If you don't hurt anyone, then I don't hurt you," Kamon adds.

The demon relaxes. "Rose is out back. She'll be happy to see you alive."

Though she won't show it. She looks more human on the outside, but on the inside she's more demon. And while she's never told anyone what kind of demon, I can only guess it's one that likes to keep a stoic demeanour.

"I'll wait," I say. "I know I'm late, but I was hoping to get that free birthday meal she promised me."

"She'll be happy to oblige. Go take a seat; she won't be long."

Ambrose prefers his privacy when he eats, so Kamon and I sit down at a nearby table. "Are you not going to tell him…?" Kamon's eyebrow rises.

"I will, after we're both full," I say. "While we're waiting, is there a plan? Once we leave Auckland, where are we going?"

"We need to focus on getting out of the city," says Kamon. The confidence in his words tells me he's already thought long and hard about this. "After that, our priority is leaving the country. There's a good chance the airport will be filled with Council spies, if they're looking for you. Are there any boats that go to Australia?"

"I'm not sure," I reply. "I think there're cruises?"

"Better than nothing. If they think I'm still with you, they'll expect us to go to Thailand, so we need to avoid going there and every country surrounding it."

Before I can comment, someone appears beside us. "Nice outfit."

I look up to see Rose, her expression stoic as usual. Her brown hair is tied up in a messy bun, and her visible eye, the left, is narrowed at Kamon; the right is hidden behind her eyepatch. No one knows what happened to it, though many have guessed. Some theories are outrageous, like the one that claims she fought a Polgara demon and got skewered right through the head. Others are ridiculously simple, like another that claims a cat only scratched her.

"Hi, Rose," I greet her.

She places a tray full of food on our table; mostly sandwiches, slices of cake, two glasses of water and a pot of fresh olives. "Vamps don't come in here, so this is novel. You haven't been turned, have you, Kiri?"

"No, I'm not a vampire," I assure her. "And Kamon isn't here to hurt anyone. He's my friend."

"Good. Let me know it you need anything." She picks up an empty glass from the table next to us and turns to leave, but the glass slips from her grasp and it smashes to the floor. "Sorry about that."

It's the signal she uses whenever she wants to tell me something in private. "I'll help." I slide under the table and start to pick up the larger pieces of glass.

Rose kneels down next to me with a dustpan and brush she's pulled from thin air. As she begins to sweep up the glass, she whispers, "There's a bounty on your head. The ones who did it claim you're a vampire. Once you're finished, leave immediately and get as far away from here as you can." She gets to her feet and walks away without another word.

That was why she asked if I was a vampire; not because of Kamon's presence, but because of what she's heard. There's no doubt that the Council are the ones who put the bounty on my head, but I don't know why they're saying I'm a vampire. Probably so no one sympathises with me.

I climb back onto my chair and turn to Kamon. "Did you hear?"

"Yes." Yet there's no urgency in his movements; he's stuffing a sandwich into his mouth with care, slow enough to savour the taste.

"You don't look worried," I observe as I dig in myself. "And why are you eating normal food? I didn't think vampires could."

"We don't _need_ to eat this stuff, but I enjoy the different tastes." He shrugs. "And I've lost count of how many people have tried to kill me. Humans, demons… I can take them." He picks up an olive, tosses it in the air and catches it with his mouth.

A smile tugs at my mouth. "Show off." The vampire throws an olive at me, and it hits my nose. "Hey!"

"Then open your mouth so you can catch it." I do, and he throws another one. It lands in my mouth, and I giggle at his smirk after I've chewed and swallowed it.

Our food is near enough gone when five men walk in, and the pub goes silent. Their eyes are on us, and Kamon and I get to our feet.

"The young one was with the Watcher that spoke to me," Kamon whispers in my ear, and my gaze goes to the youngest of the five me. "I've heard that the Council has a wet works team, employed to do their dirty work. This must be them."

"You." The man in the centre of the group looks right at me and pulls a stake from his belt. "You killed Gregory Whitehall. We're gonna end you for that."

The room erupts into chaos. The demons who eat here aren't fighters, so they immediately flee. I don't blame them; I don't want anyone getting hurt because of me. The younger man Kamon pointed out stays back while the other four rush us together; two attacking me while two attack Kamon.

Even though these guys are regular humans, they're good fighters. Still, I can manage the two attacking me, one of which is the man who spoke. The younger man on the side-lines throws a cup in my direction, probably to distract me, but I dodge it without much effort. It nearly hits Rose, but she ducks behind the bar, and it smashes against the wall behind her.

My vampire doesn't draw his staff, and I quickly realize that he doesn't need to. His attackers come at him from different directions, but Kamon just takes it in turns punching them. He manages to grab one around the neck and kicks the other one away, who bangs his head against a table and falls unconscious. The youngest man takes this as his cue to join the fight, and picks up and chair. He charges at Kamon from behind.

"Kamon!" I call out.

Kamon turns and holds his second attacker in front of him, and the youngest man ends up hitting him with the chair instead of his intended target. Kamon just smirks, and easily deflects the younger man's punches and kicks.

I toss one of my attackers aside, and he ends up landing on Ambrose's table. The Lightning Demon is the only one who hasn't fled, and he grabs the man by the collar before spinning and throwing him across the room. The man ends up smashing through a window and lands outside.

My remaining attacker is the man who spoke. "Listen to me! I'm not a vampire!"

"Liar!" the man spits. "The next Slayer's been called already. A girl in South Africa. If you're still standing, then you _have_ to be a vamp."

I'm shocked into stillness, and the man almost uses that to his advantage – but Rose comes up behind him with a frying pan and whacks him, knocking him out. Kamon has knocked out his other opponent and hurries to my side.

"You need to leave now," Rose tells me. Ambrose comes up beside her.

I nod. "I promise I'll come back someday." I can't even give them a hug goodbye. The men on the floor are already stirring, so I turn and run with Kamon behind me.

My vampire overtakes me when we're outside, and he stops beside a car. He yanks the door open, breaking the lock, and bends down under the steering wheel. It takes me a few moments to realize what he's doing. "You can hotwire a car? You can _drive_?"

"I've been around for five hundred years, and you think I don't know how to drive a car?"

"Cars have only been around in this last century, so yeah."

The car starts, and Kamon climbs into the driver's seat. "I taught myself when I realized I'll be able to get around faster this way. Get in."

I hurry around the other side and hop in, and then we're speeding away from the pub. It's surreal watching Kamon – who looks like he's stepped right out of an ancient civilisation – using something as modern as a car, but the novelty quickly wears off.

It isn't long before we're leaving Auckland behind, and I let out the breath I don't realize I'm holding. I've left the city before, of course, but that was with the knowledge that I would be returning soon. Now, I have no idea when I'll be coming back here – or even _if_ I'll be coming back. It's been my home all my life, and I may never see it again.

"What that man said… Do you think he's lying?" There can't be two Slayers at once. One girl in all the world, that's what I've always been told, by Watcher and demon alike.

"He has no reason to," Kamon admits. "They came at you with stakes instead of guns, so they must believe you're a vampire. And you were dead for a minute. Maybe it was long enough for another Slayer to be chosen."

The possibility of there being two Slayers in the world sounds unreal. And yet, Kamon's words are true; I died, and that's all it takes for another Slayer to be called. I suppose the Powers That Be don't account for Slayers being brought back to life. Does this mean I'm the first? Have other Slayers been revived?

If so, I can't imagine the Watchers ever recording something like that. Especially after what's happened with me.

We drive for a long time, well over an hour, maybe two. The roads get emptier the further we get from the city, and there's no sign of life apart from the occasional petrol station or café. Eventually a small hotel comes into view, and this is where Kamon finally stops.

"We should sleep at night, travel during the day," he says. "They think you're a vampire, and they _know_ I'm one. They'll expect us to travel by night."

I nod. "Sounds like a plan."

The woman at the front desk blinks at Kamon's outfit, but otherwise doesn't spare us a second glance. Kamon uses a cheque to pay, and I briefly wonder how that works. Does he have some kind of special demon universal chequebook that works in every country in the world? It's not really important, so I don't ask.

The room has two beds and a small bathroom. I suddenly realize just how exhausted I am, and I collapse onto the bed closest to the window. Kamon takes a seat on the other one, and I can feel him watching me.

"Are you OK, little Slayer?"

"Hmm," is all I can manage.

He's silent for a few moments before speaking again. "I know you feel like you should be strong, but holding it all in won't help you. Let it go."

I want to point out that he tends to suppress what he's feeling, too. I've seen him do it. But I don't have the energy to argue. "I have to."

"Why?"

"I'm the Slayer. I have to be strong all the time. He said so."

"Who?"

"My Watcher…" I trail off when I realize what I'm saying. Gregory always told me that I couldn't let my emotions rule me; I had to push it all down and be strong, or else I'll die. But the man who told me that was the same man who shot me in the chest. He was wrong about all demons being evil, and he was wrong to try and kill me. He's wrong about this, too.

I climb back to my feet and just stand there, my fists clenched. Kamon stands up as well, and I feel his hand on my shoulder.

"Kiri… Let it go. Let it all out."

And I do. I bury my face into his chest and clutch him like a lifeline, and I finally let my tears fall freely. He doesn't go still or hesitate; instead he returns my embrace and holds me close, rocking me gently from side to side. One of his hands strokes my hair, and I even feel him place a light kiss atop of my head. With him as my anchor, I let myself feel all the grief, sorrow, anger and betrayal that's been building over the past couple of days. I release my emotions into the open, and a weight lifts off my shoulders.

I don't know how long we stay like that. I only pull away when I'm ready, but not far. His thumb gently caresses my face, wiping away my tears. I meet his gaze and smile. "Thank you."

My face is close to his, but I don't notice until he starts leaning forwards – and then I realize that I'm leaning forwards, too.

Our lips meet.

There was a time when I wondered what a kiss would feel like. Then I was chosen as the Slayer, and the possibility of ever having any kind of romantic relationship was gone. No need to think about something that was never going to happen, I told myself.

This isn't anything like I'd imagine it would be. It's better.

Kamon pulls me closer and lets out a little growl as the kiss deepens. The growl should freak me out, but it doesn't. Instead it ignites something inside me, and I'm thinking this is what arousal feels like. It's wonderful and powerful.

My need for air eventually grows stronger than my desire to keep kissing him, and I break it with a gasp. But my eyes remain closed and our foreheads touch; I can't pull myself away from him, and I suspect he feels the same way.

"My little Slayer…"

His voice is soft and filled with a promise of so much more than kissing; something far more precious than physical desire.

"My vampire…"

We come together again, and the world falls away.

* * *

**End Notes**: I'll either update tomorrow or Wednesday.


	6. Chapter 6: A Part of You That's Missing

**Chapter Notes**: Just a little warning, in these next few chapters, Buffy's gonna be acting like...well, a bee with an itch. Just remember how she acted in "Crush" when confronted with Spike's feelings, and also when other Slayers (Kendra and Faith) have shown up before; it'll be OOC for her to accept everything so quickly. But her behaviour will only last a few chapters before she gets a wake-up call.

* * *

'_Cause honey I'll come get my things, _

_but I can't let go…_

~ _Green Light_ by Lorde

* * *

"It was another year before we got married. We had our ups and downs, most of them my fault… But it was worth it in the end. I've never regretted my decision to stay with her."

I watch Kamon fiddle with the ring on his finger; a silver band with dark wave patterns engraved into it, a Maori style no doubt influenced by his wife.

We're sat on the sofa in my crypt, and I don't know how much time has passed; could be hours, could be more. But it doesn't feel like it. I've been so bloody engrossed in the story, the world could have ended outside and I wouldn't have noticed.

I'm not completely daft. Until now, I thought the very idea of Buffy returning my feelings was an impossible dream. Something I'd never be able to accomplish without my sodding soul, and even with one it would take a lot of bloody effort. I was content to keep my distance and watch her from afar, keep my feelings for her hidden and only use them to fuel my fantasies.

But now… Here's a vampire without a soul, married to a Slayer. A Slayer who loves him in return. It can happen. Winning Buffy's love is within my grasp.

_How_ is the question. Unlike this Kiri bird, my Slayer's heart has been broken too many times for her to love so easily, especially a soulless vamp. Accepting that I could love her would mean rejecting the shit Peaches sold her with his disappearing soul act, and I don't see that happening anytime soon. She'd be happy continuing to believe that Peaches simply couldn't love her without a soul shoved up his arse for the rest of her days, if it means he remains sodding perfect in her eyes.

I'll have to make a big gesture to prove my love to her. Shame that she's already experienced that bloody barbaric test. I could've swooped in to help her.

But what other way is there? I look again at the only vamp in the world with any experience on the subject (and no, I don't count bloody Angel).

"Any tips on how to win a Slayer's heart?" I ask as casually as I can manage. "Asking for a friend."

"I know you love your Slayer."

I force out a chuckle. "_Please_! Do you know who I am? I'm the Slayer of Slayers; I've killed two birds before her. She's the bane of my bloody existence, and as soon as I get this chip out, her neck will be my chalice. I'll show her and her sodding Scoobies the consequences of making fun of me all this time."

Kamon's eyebrow goes up. Fuck. He doesn't buy it.

"My wife has had Slayer dreams of this place; of the Slayer and her allies," he explains. "She's seen the truth. We both know how you really feel about Buffy Summers."

I sigh. No denying it now. "Alright, fine. She's all I can bloody think about. You tell anyone about this, and I'll have your guts for garters."

"I'd like to see you try, but your secret is safe," he says. "Kiri's dreams were detailed, and she explained it all to me. I already know what you need to do in order to stand any kind of chance with Buffy."

"And what's that, mate?" I'm tempted to get a pen and paper and start writing things down, but then I'd look too bloody desperate. I need to hold onto what little pride I have left.

"First of all," He nods over at the mannequin, "you can't lose your temper and hit her. That's the first sign of an abusive relationship."

"Don't you think I bloody well know that?" I tell him. "Even if I could, I don't _want_ to hit her! Unless she wants to spar with me, but even then, the chip will fire regardless. Besides, she hits me all the sodding time whenever she damn well pleases."

"Then politely ask her not to."

I bark a laugh. "Oh, wonderful idea! Why didn't I think of that before? Mate, I've told her to stop a hundred times, even asked her politely, and she won't listen. She thinks I've got no feelings, and that makes it acceptable to hit me."

Kamon thinks for a moment before he says, "You should talk to someone else about it. Someone who will listen to you, and who can talk to Buffy about her habits."

That's something I haven't considered before. I nod. "Got just the person in mind: Buffy's mother, Joyce. Nice lady. Never treated me like I was dirt on the ground, and Buffy's likely to listen to her."

"You also shouldn't give Buffy any excuses to hit you," Kamon continues. "You need to stop taunting her and being rude to her."

I roll my eyes. "But I'm a bad, rude man."

"And if Buffy liked that about you, she would already be interested. But she's not," says the vamp. "You need to be nice to her. You need to be calm and keep from losing your temper. And you can't push her into anything she doesn't want. If you make a suggestion and she rejects it, don't keep trying to force it on her; drop the subject and accept her decision."

"Even if it's a bloody stupid decision." He narrows his eyes at me. "I'm joking. No means no, I know that."

"That also means stopping yourself from saying or doing anything that will make her defensive and run," he adds. "And while you may not like it, you need to prepare yourself for rejection. Even if you do all this, it's still her choice, and if she rejects you, you have to accept her decision. You can't take it personally, and you can't keep trying to pressure her into something she doesn't want."

"Her ex-wanker kept pressing the issue no matter how many times she said no, until she gave in." Thinking about Captain Cardboard again makes my blood boil. He did plenty of the things Kamon's telling me not to do, and Buffy was willing to jump after a helicopter to get him back.

"But their relationship ended, and if I know my wife, she'll help Buffy see that things weren't healthy between them."

"She'd be a sodding miracle worker if she can get through Buffy's thick skull."

"She's wiser and braver than anyone I've ever met." He looks away with a huge grin on his face, caught in a daydream. But it only lasts a moment; then he shakes his head and returns to the conversation. "One thing you need to understand is you can't do things with the expectation of getting a relationship in return. Do the right thing because it's _right_, not because you think Buffy will want to have sex with you if you do it."

"Bloody hell… Fine."

"Oh, and something you can do straight away: get rid of that shrine you have of her downstairs. If she ever discovers it, you'll never have a chance with her. Return her belongings, and stop stalking her."

Alright, maybe he has a point about the shrine. Part of me knows its wrong, taking her stuff, and I've had nightmares about her discovering it and staking me. But following her and standing outside her bedroom window… Peaches did that all the time, and the Slayer thought it was one of the grandest romantic gestures in the history of romance.

Then, in a moment of clarity, I realize that I'm turning into her sodding ex. I don't wanna become bloody Angel.

"Fine, the shrine goes. What about the pictures I drew of her?"

"Burn them. Only draw another picture with her permission."

Angel did that, too. As Angelus. Drew pictures of her when she was sleeping, to taunt her. The drawings have to go.

"Anything else on this bloody long list of bloody rules?" I ask.

"You need to ask yourself if you really love her," he replies. "Ask yourself if she's worth it. You'll have to work for her and make the effort. You need to be patient with her. Tread lightly, and always ask her what she wants instead of making assumptions and giving her what you _think_ she wants."

If he'd said all that a few months ago, I would've left town to try and forget about her. I was confused back then; didn't understand what I was feeling. But now… I love her. I know I do, and if I thought she wasn't worth it, this miserable town would already be behind me. And after hearing about Kamon and his Slayer meet and fall in love… I want that with Buffy. I want that kind of love.

"She's worth it, mate. If you saw her in action, you'd know."

"Then you need to show her that you're worth it in return," says Kamon. "You need to stop loudly declaring yourself to be the Big Bad. I don't know if it's a defence mechanism from the chip or a display of ego, but trust me when I say that trying to hold onto an image that only rings hollow won't be worth it if you lose Buffy. She won't want to be with you if you keep reminding her that you used to be evil."

I want to argue, but then I remember that Buffy always seems to get nastier in her remarks – and harder with her punches – whenever I do or say something that reminds her of what I used to be before I got chipped. Old habits are hard to break, and I used to be proud of what I was. But I know Buffy can never love the man I was. So, I have to suck it up and be better.

Something Kamon said clicks. "Talk from experience with that last bit?"

He nods. "I used to pretend that nothing phased me; that I could handle anything. And I used to struggle with showing how I really felt. I quickly realized that if I kept that up, I'd lose Kiri, and… I couldn't lose her."

Right then. "If Buffy's with your wife right now, that means I can take her stuff back without her knowing. Care to lend a hand, mate?"

"Of course."

Before I can get to my feet, I notice the sun still shining through one of the small windows. I sigh. "Thought it was later. We'll have to wait until Mr. Sunshine's taking his nap."

"We could still go now." He removes a necklace from his pouch.

The one from the story, that lets vampires go out in the sun.

For once in my un-life, I don't know what to say.

* * *

"We got married a year later. Our lives weren't always sunshine and roses, but that had nothing to do with Kamon and everything to do with those who wanted us dead. Demons, humans… And while Kamon and I sometimes argued, if I didn't have him with me through all that, I wouldn't have survived; I would have let myself die a long time ago. He's the reason I'm here."

She talks like an older lady; like a woman who's been happily married for years and can't imagine a life without their significant other. It makes me both jealous and sad that I can never have what she has. Why couldn't those gypsies have given Angel his soul, plain and simple, end of story, without the need to attach a stupid loophole?

The ring on her finger draws my attention. Now that she's sitting next to me, I can see it clearer; where there should be a pretty gem or stone, there's instead a carving of a man sitting cross-legged, only the man has an elephant's head. Willow once mentioned a God who looked like that. Ganesha? Is he a God in Thailand? Kamon must have given it to her when he married her.

A soulless demon, marrying a Slayer… Sounds like bullshit.

I find myself looking at everyone else to see their reactions. Willow, Tara and Anya have these huge dopey smiles on their faces, acting like Kiri has just told the most romantic story in the world. I expect Xander to look disgusted or something like that, but instead he's just sitting there wearing a strange look, like he's solving a math problem. And Giles…is busy taking notes, writing it all down. I roll my eyes. My Watcher can be too predictable sometimes.

The story is making me conflicted, and I don't know what to think. Everything made sense, so there's no plot holes to point out (darn it), but I still want to tell Kiri that she's wrong about her husband; he doesn't have a soul, so he can't love her, and he can't be good. A vampire who chooses to hunt his own kind instead of humans, without needing a soul to do it? That sounds way too uncomfortably like a fairytale. And I know from experience that loving a vampire isn't a fairytale.

On the other hand, I one hundred percent believe her about the Council. I know they can be the biggest jerks, and while I never thought they'd go far enough to kill their own Slayer… It sounds like something they'd totally do if the Slayer didn't agree with them.

Memories from my own Cruciamentum flash before my eyes; the fear, the pain, thinking over and over I was going to die…

Shit.

"Did you know?" I direct my question at Giles and hope he doesn't say something that'll break my trust in him forever. "Giles, did you know that the test could be used to kill Slayers?"

He's already shaking his head, and in his eyes, I see him make the same realization as me. I let out a breath; he didn't know. "No. It never even occurred to me… Few Slayers have survived the test, and most of those few didn't live much longer afterwards. But it makes sense that something so…cruel and barbaric could be used by the Council to rid themselves of Slayers they deemed to be 'problematic'. And I fear that, given your…relationship with Angel, this was Quentin's true intention. Fighting a vampire like Kralik even with your powers would have been difficult, but without…"

"Might as well have been a death sentence," I say, trying not to shiver. "But they haven't tried to kill me since."

"Because you passed the test, and I made it clear that my loyalties were to you, not the Council," says Giles. "Added to that, you are surrounded by people who care for you, who would fight for you. Quentin knows when to fold his cards, and that would not have been a fight he could win."

Kiri looks between us and smiles. "I knew there were good Watchers out there." Her tone is wistful. I've already been betrayed by Giles once, and even I can't even imagine what it must have felt like, getting shot by her father figure. But I guess my own betrayal was softened by him helping me immediately afterwards, getting fired, and giving me the impression that he didn't want to go through with the whole thing in the first place.

It doesn't sound like Kiri's Watcher was even the slightest bit conflicted. Bastard.

"Is it too late to beg you not to go to England?" I say to Giles. "I mean, I didn't want you to go before, but now… You're gonna sit on a plane for eleven hours to go ask your murderous former employers for help. What if they decide to try and kill me again? Or they find out that Kiri's here and try to kill her?"

I'm still not comfortable with her being married to a vampire, but I don't want her dead.

"But I want to be in charge of the store!" Anya protests. Because being in charge is apparently more important than people trying to kill me.

"I agree with Buffy," says Willow. "Giles shouldn't have to leave. I mean, we have help now! Kiri says she came to help."

The older Slayer winces. "I don't know any more about Glory than you do, I'm afraid. My dreams were detailed in places, but not _that_ detailed. Kamon and I came to supply some extra muscle and stop the bad things from happening."

"Bad things?" Xander looks worried.

"If things with Glory don't go so well, it'll have consequences for the future," Kiri explains. "If you think things are bad now, then you don't wanna know what could happen over the next few years. I'd prefer not to tell you unless it's important and I know it's going to happen."

"In which case, there is no choice for me. I must go to England and see what I can find out," says Giles. "If Glory's defeat is as important as you say, then we need to explore every avenue available to us."

Kiri nods in agreement. "Right now, I think we can put a dent in Glory. Even if it's only temporary, it might help us in the long run."

"And how can we do that?" I ask.

"With two Slayers and two vampires fighting her at once?" Kiri shrugs. "That's gotta be hard, even for her."

Wait, _two_ vampires? For a split second I think she means Angel – think she's going to suggest calling him and convincing him to come and help – but then I remember she had no idea he and I knew each other. There's only one vampire around she could mean, and considering she's been having dreams about recent events and he's been _part_ of those recent events…

"Spike? Are you seriously considering asking Spike for help?" Now all I can focus on is the part of the story I'm uncomfortable with; the part where she married a soulless vampire. "Look, you might be down with working with soulless monsters, but here in Sunnydale, we kill them. And we _definitely_ don't associate with them. I feel for you with the whole Watcher thing, because that majorly sucks. But Kamon doesn't have a soul; he's probably stringing you along as part of some plot to…I don't know, take over the world, or something."

When I don't hear a chorus of agreement from my friends, I turn to find them all staring at me. They all look both surprised and uncomfortable.

"Did you take stupid pills this morning?" Anya is blunt and to the point. "I didn't think they existed, but they must do for you to say something like that. Kamon the Kinslayer isn't evil; I've been hearing about him ever since he was turned. He's the real deal."

And I'm supposed to trust the word of a formerly evil demon? Well, _formerly_, and she's been around a long time… I mentally shake my head. Rumours aren't always true, and that's all she heard. Rumours. I turn to the one person I know will back me up. "Xander, help me out here. Demons with no soul equals evil, right?"

"I was never a fan of the one _souled_ demon we knew," he says hesitantly. "Look, Buff, I'm normally of the agreement that the only good demon is a dead one, but… They've been married for seventeen years. Even _I_ know that's way too long to wait to pull off some kind of long-con plan. No one stays married for that long unless they truly love each other."

Even Xander's not on my side?

I turn back to Kiri. "How do we know you're not under some kind of thrall?"

"She's not," Tara says immediately. "Ever since Dracula's visit, I've been training myself to notice slight changes in a person's aura, specifically if someone falls under a vampire's thrall. Even if someone broke free of the thrall, a mark in their aura would still be there. Buffy, you and Xander still have that mark from when you were both under Dracula's thrall. Kiri doesn't have any mark in her aura, at all. Not only is she not under a thrall, she never has been."

I can't accuse Tara of being wrong, because she never is. She was the only one who figured out that Faith and I had switched bodies…

I'm mentally whacking my brain for any other way Kamon could be tricking us and using Kiri, when the shop door opens.

Bleach blonde hair. Black coat. Spike. Just what I need.

"Hello, all. Lovely day for a stroll, isn't it?"

There's something wrong with that statement, but before I can think of what, I notice the other vampire by his side. He looks exactly like Kiri described, but what catches me off-guard is his wide, genuine smile and the completely adoring _love_ in his eyes when his gaze meets Kiri's.

She smiles in return, jumps up from her seat and runs to him, and they throw their arms around each other in greeting. The vampire, Kamon, even picks her up off the floor and swings her around. They probably saw each other this morning, yet they're acting like they haven't seen each other in months.

When Kamon puts her down again, he says, "Hello little Slayer, who is also my wife."

Kiri rolls her eyes, but her smile doesn't leave her face. "Hi, weirdo vampire I married."

And now they're smacking lips. I don't want to look, but I can't tear my eyes away from them. I hear something sizzling and I see smoke (or steam?) rising from Kamon's chest. I remember that Kiri is wearing a cross, and it's pressing against Kamon's skin. I expect him to push her away and scream in pain. I expect him to yell at her for being so thoughtless.

He does neither. Instead he keeps kissing her like she's his source of air (even though he's a _vampire_ and doesn't need to breathe), and I wonder if he even notices the pain.

"Mate?" Spike actually looks concerned and taps Kamon on the shoulder.

The vampire and Slayer finally stop kissing, and the former looks at Spike. "Yes?"

"Slayer left a mark." Spike points at the other vampire's chest.

"I know. Not the first time that's happened. Won't be the last." He pulls up his golden scarf to cover the burn. "She's worth every burn and every scar."

"Oh, I forgot my manners." Kiri turns back to us. "Everyone, this is Kamon." She then points us all out to him, telling him our names, but I don't pay attention.

Because I've only just remembered that it's still daylight, and while Kiri says that Kamon's headband protects him from sunlight…

"How the hell did you get in here, Spike?" I demand, getting to my feet.

For a brief second, I swear his gaze softens when he sees me. But I must be seeing things. Spike gives me a smug look before undoing the top button of his red shirt, revealing a golden necklace underneath. It's pressed firmly against his skin and sits above the silver chain he usually wears.

"My new best friend gave me a gift. Beats a friendship bracelet."

I realize that the symbol on the necklace matches the one on Kamon's headband. It's the one Kiri mentioned in her story.

"You gave the necklace to _Spike_?! He doesn't deserve to walk in the sun! I was going to ask if we could send it to Angel. He needs it more! Take it off right now!"

"Can't. It's got a No Returns policy. The other Slayer must've told you that," Spike says. "'Sides, your ex destroyed the last trinket you sent him, and not even to keep it away from yours truly. He thought it would 'interfere with his mission' and all that rot. It was the most idiotic excuse I'd ever heard."

I can't respond for a moment. _That_ was why Angel destroyed the Gem?

"There are benefits to Spike having the necklace," says Giles, breaking into my thoughts. "Namely there's no longer a risk of him burning down every building he runs into. You still haven't paid me for the damages in my flat; I want to stop looking at that big black mark on my wall."

"He can come to Scoobie meetings," Tara suggests. "If he's going to be helping us with Glory."

My eyes widen. I wait for Spike to reject the idea; to proclaim himself as the Big Bad, not a 'white hat', or whatever it is he calls us.

Nothing. Zilch. Instead he says, "Yeah, alright. Been itching for a good fight. Want me to bring beer to the next meeting? I've got the good stuff from merry old England, not the crap you yanks call a decent beverage. All your American brands are like cheap knock-offs. Chocolate, tea…"

"And now you realize my misery." Giles nods in agreement.

Oh my God, Giles and Spike are bonding. That's it. The line's been drawn, this is getting out of hand.

"Spike's not coming to our meetings! Never in a million years!" I snap. "There's no room for our former enemies, _especially_ of the soulless kind!"

Silence. Everyone is giving me those stares again. What's _wrong_ with my friends today? Shouldn't they be agreeing with me? I look again at Xander; he may not agree about Kamon, but _surely,_ he agrees with me about Spike?

He looks like he's afraid I'm about to pound him into the pavement, and it takes him a few moments to say anything. "I'm not a member of the Spike fan club, but… He's strong enough to help you fight Glory. If that keeps one of my best friends from dying, then sure. Let him come to Scooby meetings. Also, does your rule about not letting former enemies into the gang only apply when you want it to? Because if it's an actual rule that's actually enforced, then One: Angel never would have been allowed back after he was our enemy for months, and Two: we'd have to send Anya away, too."

"I wouldn't mind if we did that." Willow narrows her eyes at the former demon.

"Xander! Willow's being mean! Tell her to stop!"

I actually want them to start another argument, but Giles speaks up before they can. "Buffy, you're a grown woman. You need to stop acting so childish and consider the benefits of this arrangement."

_I'm_ acting childish for not wanting a soulless, Slayer-killing murderer in our gang? Seriously?

Kiri steps towards me. "Buffy, I know this is hard for you. But you need to unlearn what the Council has taught you."

"It's not what the Council taught me." It's time for her to know the truth. It's time for her to learn how the world _really_ works. "I've seen the proof of what a soul means with my own eyes; I've seen how completely incapable soulless demons are of love. Angel and I were in love, but the curse that gave him his soul came with a loophole. If he ever experiences a moment of happiness, he loses his soul and becomes a monster again. He didn't know that; none of us did. We slept together, he lost his soul, and he turned on me. He tried to kill me and my friends, and he tried to end the world. He didn't care about me or anyone; he didn't love me anymore. Then when we managed to re-curse him with his soul, he was himself again; he loved me again. _That's_ how it works." I fold my arms across my chest and wait for her reply.

Her eyes don't widen in realization. She doesn't turn and stake her husband in horror.

Instead she looks at me…with pity. Does she feel _sorry_ for me?

"I'm so sorry that happened to you, Buffy," she says. "You must have been so young. That kind of trauma leaves marks… After what happened with my Watcher, I found myself automatically distrusting anyone with a British accent. I always feared they were secretly a Watcher trying to kill me. But eventually I learned that not everyone from Britain was a Watcher out to get me; some people I met were really friendly. It looks like what happened with Angel has given you an unfavourable opinion on soulless demons. They're very capable of love. Have you never seen an example of this?"

"She has," Spike speaks up. "When I first came here with Drusilla, I brought her and a bunch of over vamps to this club to snack on everyone inside. Buffy stopped me by threatening to stake Drusilla; said she'd do it right in front of me unless I let everyone go. I didn't even weigh my options. Let everyone live without a second thought." He looks at me. "If you really thought I was incapable of love, you wouldn't have done that. You would've assumed it wouldn't work. That was before Angel lost his soul, so it was the big lug who changed your opinion."

I remember the night like it was only yesterday. I saw how Spike acted with Drusilla, saw how he doted on her and cared for her. Back then, I knew that threatening her would stop Spike in his tracks. The fear in his eyes when I held her at stake-point…

I clench my fists. No, it has to be some kind of Sire-Childe bond. Nothing more.

"But Angel loved me," I say. "Then he lost his soul, and he didn't love me anymore. How do you explain that?"

"Have you ever considered that what happened had nothing to do with his soul, and everything to do with what kind of person he was?" Kiri suggests. "Remember I said that I met Angel. He left an impression, and it wasn't a good one. You may not want to hear this Buffy, but if he didn't love you without his soul, then it's likely he didn't love you with it, either. Maybe he thought he did, maybe only a part of him loved you, but it must not have been enough-"

I don't realize how hard I'm gripping my chair until the entire backrest snaps off with a loud _crunch_. It's a good thing I wasn't sitting on it, or I would've gone splat on the floor.

"Buffy, you're gonna have to pay for that," says Anya, but I ignore her.

"Angel loves me," I tell Kiri, my voice firm. "And I love him."

The other Slayer's expression doesn't change. "You know, don't you? But you don't want to face it, because it hurts too much. Buffy, bottling up your feelings and refusing to deal with them hurts more in the long run. Trust me. You need to let it go."

I was so happy before Angel lost his soul. _We_ were happy. We loved each other. It _was_ love. If that wasn't love, then what is?

Kamon steps forwards and takes Kiri's hand. The smile on his face when he saw her, the love in his eyes…

No.

"You're wrong!" I run past her and flee from the store.

* * *

"That didn't go as well as I'd hoped." I flop down on our bed and stare at the motel ceiling.

"It wasn't a complete disaster," says Kamon. He walks out of the bathroom, his bare chest on display. The sight banishes my bad mood. "Her friends didn't seem so bad. And Spike listened to me."

"Good for you." I sigh and sit up again. "At least she actually heard me out. And her problem isn't what the Council has taught her. She doesn't like them, so it's a start."

"She reminds me of you." My husband sits down beside me. "Strong, outspoken, independent, _stubborn_."

"Oh, stop it." I give him a shove, but he barely budges and just chuckles. "But like I said, the Council isn't the problem. It's her previous relationship with Angel. The Powers should have sent me those dreams sooner. If I'd been there when it happened…"

"Or maybe if you had let me kill him when I had the chance…"

"It wasn't right. And remember what we heard on the way here? He's helping people in LA."

It's his turn to sigh. He takes my hand and squeezes it gently. "She needs time. She's stubborn, but so are you. You'll get through to her. In the meantime, what do we do?"

I close my eyes, and my dreams play out before me. Spike being shut out of the Slayer's home. A woman lying dead on a sofa. A young girl screaming. Buffy jumping into a portal that'll kill her. Willow's hair turning black. Buffy clawing her way out of her own grave. Giles leaving Buffy to fend for herself. Xander leaving Anya at the altar. Buffy attacking Spike in an alley. Spike attacking Buffy in a bathroom. Potential Slayers fighting and dying. Spike burning up as the Hellmouth collapses around him. Buffy losing herself in her grief…

So much pain. It's not just the apocalypse we're here to prevent; an apocalypse that could be the catalyst for several more in the future. The lives of these people are going to go downhill if things go south, and I want to help them.

"We should go and meet Buffy's family," I tell my husband. "Her sister is the Key, right? We should know who we're protecting."

"Right now?" He nods outside, where the sun is starting to lower in the sky. "We should wait until this other Slayer goes out on patrol."

"And what are we supposed to do until then?" He smirks at me and wiggles his eyebrows. "Right, stupid question. Silly me."

Not that I'm complaining. I take off my necklace before he kisses me. I know he doesn't care, but I do, and I prefer it when we make love without causing scars.

* * *

**End Notes**: I should be updating tomorrow, so stay tuned.


	7. Chapter 7: Triangle

**Chapter Notes**: For those of you wondering about Xander's characterization, I think he was probably as his best (least prejudiced) during season 5, except when he convinced Buffy to take Riley back (he wanted a guy friend, but I think he genuinely thought he was doing the right thing for his friend) and then when it came to Spike (but he was a vamp who had hurt them in the past, so it somewhat made sense). While his prejudice started with Jesse being turned, it can't have fuelled it completely since the guy was never mentioned on the show again. Angel was the main problem, first because Xander was jealous, and then once he got over Buffy, because Angel ended up hurting one of his best friends in so many ways. He doesn't like Spike because again, he's hurt them all repeatedly. It was there when those spirits made him sick in season 4, but they hurt him and were trying to hurt his friends. Seeing a pattern here? Anya was different in that she really only made one attempt against the Scoobies, and it wasn't a very good one, anyway. She noticeably spoke up during Thanksgiving, and I think dating her eased his prejudice. He backtracked in season 6, but then no one was having a good time in that season.

I guess what I'm saying is... Being confronted with a demon who doesn't want to hurt them, wants to help them and is in love with a Slayer, it makes sense that he'll be reasonable. (Not to mention at this point in canon he has his own problems to deal with, namely Anya and Willow constantly bickering.)

Also, someone pointed out to me that Xander should know people can stay married despite not loving each other, given what his own home life is like. I completely forgot about this, so... Let's just pretend he's either in denial or it's wish fulfillment on his part. Whatever makes sense; make your own headcanon.

* * *

_Lift your eyes, _

_see the things unseen…_

~ _Hold On_ by Extreme Music

* * *

I kick the vampire in the face. "Oh, stop acting so _childish_, Buffy!" I spin and kick him again, this time in the stomach. "You need to listen to the Slayer who thought it was a good idea to marry a _soulless_ monster!" The vamp leaps forwards and tries to punch me, but I duck to avoid it. I punch him twice in the face and throw him to the ground. "I'm sure her husband won't turn around and kill us all!"

The vamp frowns at me and looks around us. "Who are you talking to?"

"Not _you_!" I kneel down and stake him in one smooth motion, then rise to my feet again. "Stupid vampires."

I've lost count of how many I've staked tonight. I needed to kill as many as I could, after what happened today; I would've even staked Spike if I'd bumped into him. But with that last kill, the urge has lessened. With my vampire itch thoroughly scratched, I make my way home.

All I want to do now is curl up on the couch with Mom and Dawn, eat lots of chocolate and watch a chic flick. Maybe then I can take my mind off the new Slayer in town and her stupid husband. Actually, _she's_ the stupid one, because marrying a soulless vampire? Stupid. Sure, he saved her one time, but that doesn't make him husband material. Spike helped me save the world from Angelus, and _I'm_ not about to up and marry him.

If the Council actually did their jobs and didn't try and kill her… Fine, I can accept that the Council are the bigger jerks here, but that doesn't change the fact that soulless equals evil. We'll see who's laughing when Kamon reveals his evil master plan to…. I don't know, help Glory take over the world, or something.

I'm walking up the path to my house when my vamp senses tingle. At first, I think it's Spike; he has this annoying habit of visiting my mother, sharing hot chocolate with her and talking about _Passions_. I really want to stake him after what happened today, but if I stake him in front of Mom, she'll probably kick me out of the house again. After forcing me to clean up Spike's ashes.

And she's been in such a good mood lately. She's finally wearing normal clothes again instead of her bath robe; she's feeling more like herself for the first time since returning from the hospital. Maybe I'll just threaten to stake Spike. And beat him up a bit outside.

Then I hear a laugh that's definitely _not_ Spike's. And how am I familiar with Spike's laughs?

I run the rest of the way when I realize who's inside, and burst through the side door into the kitchen.

Mom and Dawn are sat at the island, and opposite them are Kiri and Kamon. They're all smiling and laughing at something. I narrow my eyes. Are they laughing at me? Do they think it's funny that I thought my family was in danger?

"How did you get in here?" I demand, looking only at the vampire.

"I invited him in," says Mom. "Mr. Giles called and told me there was another Slayer in town, and that her husband is a vampire. Why didn't you tell me, Buffy?"

"I thought it was obvious why I didn't." Did she not hear the _vampire_ part of the vampire husband? But then Mom invited Dracula inside, so I can't be that surprised she has really bad vamp sense. I turn my gaze to Kiri. "Why are you both here?"

"We wanted to meet your family," she says. "And I thought it would be less awkward for you if we came when you weren't here."

"Kiri says she never knew her family," says Mom. "They died when she was very young. Don't be rude to her, Buffy."

I wince. She wants to get to know my family, because she never knew hers – and the only "family" she had ended up shooting her in the chest. OK, fine. That I can understand, and I'm totally on board with her stopping by if that's the case.

"Kiri's welcome here," I say. "_He_ isn't."

Kamon raises an eyebrow. "Spoken like a true Council-trained Slayer. I thought you didn't agree with them."

"I _don't_." My hand itches for a stake, but I don't want to do anything violent in front of Mom and Dawn. "They were wrong to try and kill Kiri, and they were wrong to put Slayers through that stupid test, including me. But you're soulless, and that makes you dangerous. It's a fact of life."

He actually has the gall to grin at me. "I'm dangerous, but only to those who deserve it."

"Forgive me for not taking your word for it."

"We'll go." Kiri tugs on her husband's arm and slides off her seat. "We need to patrol too; get a lay of the land."

"Sorry. I killed all the bad guys. Didn't leave any for you." I shrug.

Dawn coughs, and under her breath I hear her say, "Hogger." I resist the urge to poke my tongue out at her.

Kamon follows Kiri to the door. As she passes me, she stops and hands me a piece of paper with an address and a phone number written on it. "This is where we're staying, in case you need us."

I want to tell her that I don't need them, but Mom's glaring at me, and I don't want to make her madder. Instead I just nod, and watch them leave.

Mom doesn't waste any time in chewing me out. "Buffy, that was very rude of you. Kiri and Kamon are guests in this town; treat them as such. You shouldn't be worried that Kiri will turn out like Faith, and you shouldn't let your prejudice against vampires-"

"Prejudice?! If I don't go out every night and kills vamps, they'll eat everyone in the town! I have a pretty good reason to hate vampires!"

"Unless they like to sit in a dark corner and brood all the time," says Dawn. I glare at her.

"Kamon is a very nice man, and you'd see that if you gave him a chance," says Mom.

"Don't worry, Mom," Dawn tells her. "I think she's just moody that she's not the only girl in the world anymore." She looks at me. "You know, I'm starting to wonder if you lied to us about that. You say the Slayer gig is a one-woman show, but a lot of other Slayers seem to be showing up here all the time. Kendra, Faith, Kiri…"

"It's _supposed_ to be a one-woman gig," I tell her, glaring again.

She rolls her eyes. "_Someone's_ a great big pile of grump today. It's not just about Kiri being here, is it? You're still upset over Riley leaving. Or it's your time of the month."

"It's not, and I'm not upset over Riley," I tell her. At least some good has come out of Kiri being here; now I can stop moping over Riley being gone and accept the fact that it never would have worked. I want to kick myself for trying so hard and wasting my time with him, but at least I can move on. "He turned into a total ass at the end. I was pretending that he was the one and that I was happy, but the truth is, I wasn't. We wanted different things, and what I wanted – to feel like a normal girl – was never going to happen. We're better off apart."

I don't wanna burden Mom and Dawn with the reason I made these realizations. It's bad enough knowing that they'll keep growing older while I'll stay the same, and one day I'll have to watch them die. Unless some monster kills me first.

Dawn's gonna hate that, growing older while I stay young. Unless being the Key means she won't age, either.

And it's not just them. Willow, Xander, Anya, Tara, Giles… Everyone will grow old and die, leaving me alone. The image of the First Slayer flashes before my mind, and I almost sob at the thought of ending up like her. Alone.

Except that I'm not. Kiri won't grow old. Maybe… maybe I should try and get along with her, for that reason. If she ends up being all I have in the future, then I can't keep avoiding her. Even if I think her choice of husband is questionable at best.

"You know, I was gonna say that I was just starting to like the guy," says Dawn. "But if that's how you feel about him, then I'm totally allowed to say I didn't like him. I thought he was boring, stupid, and he treated me like I was five."

I can't even be mad at her. But if that's how she felt, why didn't she tell me?

Because I would have ignored her, I realize. I never noticed just how badly it was all going downhill, just how much Riley and I were falling apart, until it all exploded with a great big bang. Before that happened, I definitely wouldn't have wanted to hear my little sister's opinion.

Mom isn't even mad at Dawn's blunt words. "I wanted to talk to you about this sooner, but then I ended up in the hospital and I didn't want to make your life more stressful… Honey, the smile on your face whenever you were around him reminded me of how I looked in the last few months I was married to your father. I acted like everything was OK, like we were going to make things work. But the truth was, I was forcing myself to be with him, thinking it was the right thing. Your smile with Riley wasn't genuine; you were playing the part of a girlfriend, but you weren't feeling it, just like I was only playing the role of a wife and not enjoying it."

I don't know how to respond. Her words are the truth, but talking about what happened between her and Dad…

"When did you realize that it wasn't going to work?" Dawn's taking it better than I am.

"When I had that food poisoning," she replies. "Hank didn't even care; he just told me to get over it and left for work without another word. If he was still with us now, I have no doubt he would have told me the same thing about the tumour. Buffy, you need to find yourself a man who will take care of you when you're sick. Not one who tries to get himself killed to get your attention, and definitely not one who'll just disappear when you need him the most."

I have a feeling that last bit was a dig at Angel, but I let it slide. I remember when she had that food poisoning; I didn't even notice how uncaring Dad was about it. I was too caught up in my own teen drama, and my new life as the Slayer. The guilt creeps up on me.

I should listen to her, but with normal guys out of the picture, my boyfriend options are seriously limited. But only on a _long_-term basis, I realize. A few coffee dates with Mr. Normal won't hurt, right?

* * *

I've never noticed how small my crypt is until now.

I'm itching to go out and kill something, but I saw Buffy beating the snot out of a poor fledge earlier this evening, and even at a distance I could tell she was in a bad mood. Probably on account of what happened in the shop.

I'm not about to risk bumping into her. In the foul mood she's in, she'll stake me regardless of the chip. I'm so relieved Kamon and I returned her stuff earlier in the day, when no one else was home except Joyce, who was asleep. Kamon could only carry the stuff up the path, but that was probably for the best. If the Slayer found out he had access to her home…

Something tingles at the back of my neck. Slayer.

Bollocks.

I leap behind the sofa as the door of my crypt opens. Maybe she'll take pity on the poor helpless vamp and leave…

"Spike?"

Kamon. I get back to my feet and see him and his Slayer standing by the door.

"Sorry, mate. Sensed a Slayer, thought it was Buffy coming to stake my sorry arse."

"We saw her earlier," says Kamon. "She wasn't in a good mood."

I silently beckon them further inside, and in the candlelight, I find myself taking a closer look at the other Slayer. It takes me only a minute to realize that she doesn't look any older than Buffy or her friends, and she _definitely_ doesn't look old enough to have turned eighteen in 1983. I wonder why I didn't notice earlier.

Oh. Because Buffy was in the room. Right.

"You sure you're not a vamp?" I ask. "You've got the eternal youth part of it."

"Slayers don't age once they reach adulthood," she replies. "It's a side effect of our healing abilities."

Well, that's neat. Buffy won't grow old. Another reason she and I will be good together. I bet Peaches will kick himself if he ever finds that out; he'd be sorry he ever left her to give her a "normal" life. Like the Slayer could ever have normal. He just left because he knew he couldn't keep it in his pants around her.

I'm about to ask why the pair of them are here, when the crypt door opens again. I'm caught between jumping behind the sofa again and standing my ground; I won't run from Buffy, even if she wants to stake me.

But it's not Buffy.

"Blondie Bear!" Harmony breezes into the crypt with two shopping bags in each hand, a whirlwind of colours, bubble-gum and blonde hair – the wrong kind of blonde.

Kamon and his Slayer have moved out of her way, and they're looking between us with amusement. "Blondie Bear?" the Slayer questions, biting her lip in an effort not to laugh. Kamon's hiding his chuckles behind his hand.

I sigh. Harm's gotta go.

The dumb chit proves her lack of brain cells when it takes her for-fucking-ever to even notice we're not alone. She's too busy going on about all the clothes she bought and how we should get matching outfits (not bloody likely), and she's pulling out a pair of black knickers (delectable, but they'd look much better on my Slayer) when she _finally_ sees Kamon and his Slayer standing off to the side.

"Wait, who are they? How long have they been here? Are they our new minions? Can we get them to kill the Slayer?"

"Minions?" Kamon looks offended. Don't blame the bloke, I'd be embarrassed to be one of Harm's minions, too.

"And you're not killing me _or_ Buffy." Kiri removes a stake from her back pocket.

Harmony drops the knickers in shock. "There're _two_ Slayers?! Spikey, why is there a Slayer here?!"

Kamon removes his shrunken staff from beneath his bracelets and resizes it. "She a friend of yours?"

I scoff. "_Hell_ no! Kill her for all I care."

Harm's eyes widen. "Spike!"

"Wait." Kiri steps in front of her husband and turns to me. "How dangerous is she?"

"On a scale from littering to Angelus, she's a few spots above littering," I say. "She's killed people, but anyone stupid enough to be killed by Harmony deserves a bloody Darwin Award. Humanity can afford to lose people that idiotic."

Kamon goes to move forwards again, but Kiri continues to hold him back. She turns her gaze to Harmony. "What do you want to do with your…um, _un-life_, Harmony?"

Harm relaxes a little. "I just wanna be with Spike forever. I love him."

Kiri turns back to me. "You need to tell her." Right. She's the one with the dreams; she knows I love Buffy.

I roll my eyes. "Do I have to? Can't we just stake her?"

"_Spike!_"

"Telling her is the right thing to do," Kiri insists.

Buffy would want me to do the right thing. Balls.

I walk over to Harmony and stand before her. "Harm, I can't be with you. I don't love you; I don't even _like_ you. I've been using you for sex, and I was wrong to do so. I'm sorry. I want you to leave and find someone who can give you what you want."

"But…I want _you_!" There're tears in her eyes. "I love you. I don't mind if you use me, if that means I get to be with you. Maybe if I stay, you might love me one day."

"That's not gonna happen, Harm. I…I'm in love with Buffy."

She stops sobbing and stares at me like I've grown a second head. Then she vamps out. "_What?!_ The _Slayer_?! And not just any Slayer, but _Buffy_, the _lamest_ person in high school?! What is _wrong_ with you?!" She slaps me clean across the face. "Buffy is _so_ dead! I won't let her take my Blondie Bear away from me! I'll kill her, and then you can love _me_!"

I know Buffy can take Harm. _Harris_ could probably take her. But the thought of _anyone_ going after Buffy still fucking terrifies me, and before I know what I'm doing, I vamp out and pin Harmony against the wall, my hand around her neck.

"Don't you _dare_ touch her!"

"Let me go!" She kicks out and gets lucky.

Right in the sodding balls.

I let go of her and fall to my knees. _Christ_, that hurts. She's out the door before I can recover, and I don't bother going after her. Buffy can handle Harmony; I don't know what came over me. I manage to get to my feet and walk over to the sofa, and I collapse onto it.

Kamon re-shrinks his staff and tucks it away again. He then takes a seat beside me and pats my shoulder. "You'd think it wouldn't hurt as much, now that we're vampires."

"Tell me about it." I sigh. "But it doesn't hurt as much as Buffy's words earlier. Felt like she ripped my bloody heart out and trampled all over it."

"You need to be patient." Kiri stands next to her husband. "Let Buffy come around on her own. In the meantime, you should try and win over her family. Visit Joyce more often; we were there earlier, and she says she's missed you while she's been sick."

"Missed her, too. Didn't wanna risk stopping by while the Slayer was hovering around her." It'll be good to see Joyce again, and the Bit. And I should really spend more time around people who treat me like a man, instead of trying to win the favour of people who only see me as a monster.

* * *

As I follow Tara out of the classroom, I can't help but overhear the teacher berating his TA for flirting with a student. He says something about rules and power imbalances, and how having influence over a student can lead to a conflict of interests… It makes me sick to my stomach.

How did I never realize how wrong it was to date Riley?

Tara talks about how much fun this class is gonna be (I'm not so sure; the professor spat so much, it was like being at Sea World), and I only half listen. It's been two days since Giles left for England, and since the unexpected Slayer-Vampire wife and husband duo showed up. I know I've been avoiding them.

And I want to get to know Kiri, but I want her to come to me first. Alone. No vampires allowed around Buffy.

"Buffy?"

I blink. We've stopped outside in the late afternoon sun, and Tara looks worried. "Yeah? Sorry, I was far away in Buffy Land."

"I was gonna say…" She hesitates, but it doesn't last long. "I don't wanna overstep any boundaries, but I think you should keep an open mind about Kamon. He's not like other vampires; his aura wasn't really that dark, and it was really bright when he was with Kiri. But _your_ aura… Buffy, if you're not careful, your heart will turn cold. Kiri was right; I think you need to let go of what happened with Angel. You're only hurting yourself, and holding onto something that was never supposed to be is unhealthy for you and for people around you."

Oh no, not Tara, too. I've stuck close to her because I thought she was safe. "If you understood what I felt for him, you wouldn't say that. Angel and I… It's a kind of love that lasts forever."

"It always feels that way in high school," she says. "But whenever you think about him, your aura turns dark. That should only happen with people who make you miserable. And while love is constant, it always changes. If Willow never let herself move on from Oz, she and I wouldn't be together now. If you don't face and accept what happened with Angel, you'll never find love again."

I can't snap at Tara. She's too nice. But I also can't listen to what she's saying. Of course thinking about Angel makes me miserable; he left "for my own good", not even giving me a choice. And since I now know I can never age and therefore can never have a normal life, he left me for no reason. Besides, love should go hand-in-hand with pain and fighting, another reason why I think Riley and I never worked; there was nothing between us, no love and no pain. No passion. Zilch.

After Angel, I don't think I can love anyone like that again. I gave all of my love to him, and he's taken it with him to LA.

The image of Kiri and Kamon embracing invades my mind. I can feel my heart longing for what they have – that love, that connection – but I push the feeling away.

"I'm sorry. I…I need to go home. Check on Mom." And now I'm making lame excuses to get away. I'm a really lousy friend.

If Tara sees through me (and being an aura reader, she probably can), she doesn't call me out on it. "OK. I'm gonna go meet Willow at the Magic Box."

We part, and it takes me longer than normal to walk home. I let my mind go blank; I don't wanna think about anything, else my brain will start hurting. I just focus on what I'm doing in the moment, and that's all.

When I get home, Mom's taking a nap. I don't disturb her, and I find a note in the kitchen explaining that Dawn has gone to Janice's for a sleepover. I take a shower (that professor was spitting _way_ too much, he should go see a doctor about it), get changed, and when I'm ready, the sun is starting to set. Deciding that I don't wanna hang around, I leave for an early patrol.

It's dark by the time I reach the Bronze. I expand my senses when I walk inside, and I pick up a vamp. No, make that two. I scan the room.

I see a flash of bleach blonde. Spike. Ugh.

The other vamp is close to where Spike is. It must be Kamon. I _so_ don't wanna face them. I move deeper into the club, and in my desperation to get as far away from the vamps as possible, I end up accidentally bumping into someone. Their drink spills down their shirt.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry!"

"Buffy?"

I look up and meet friendly blue eyes. "Ben? Hey! Oh, uh, I mean, I'm really sorry about that. I wasn't looking where I was going. I was…"

"Trying to get away from someone? Ex-boyfriend?"

"_Hell_ no. Just a couple of people I really don't wanna talk to right now."

"Gotcha."

I smile. "Can I get you another drink?"

"It's fine. Don't worry about it." He smiles back. "Hey, how's your Mom?"

Ben's normal. Normal won't work out. But I can pretend I'm normal for one night. It won't hurt anyone.

* * *

"And the final stop on the grand tour is…" I put the plate down and take a seat at our table. "The height of fine dining in good old Sunnyhell. I give you: The Blooming Onion."

Kamon and Kiri lean in to get a closer look, their eyes narrowed. "_This_ is the height of fine dining?" the former asks sceptically.

"It looks like a flower," says Kiri.

I roll my eyes. "Just try it. Trust me."

They look at each other, shrug, and grab a petal each. Into the dip, into their mouths, and then the moaning starts. Brilliant.

It's been two days since they got here, and I've shown them around. Had plenty of time to do it, now I can walk outside in the sun. Shown them Willy's, the Fish Tank, the butchers, the best place for a good brawl, the graveyard with the most vamp kills, the best places to shag in public (Kamon's grin and Kiri's blush proved they were mighty interested in that information), and every other corner of this bleeding town.

Hanging out with people who don't treat me like I'm a speck of dirt on their boot… It feels nice.

"This is amazing," says Kiri between mouthfuls. Kamon doesn't say anything; just shoves more food in his mouth. "I've gotta get this recipe and send it to Rose. She'll want to serve this."

"Still in contact with her?" I ask as I take a bite of my own. At this rate, the pair of them will eat it all without me.

"We've been back to Auckland a few times," Kiri explains. "The Hellmouth's protected. Ambrose is making sure of it, and Aqua managed to make her way there, too. We could never stay long. I think the Council has Watchers there around the clock, keeping an eye out for us."

"Imagine they have Watchers stationed on every Hellmouth," I tell her. "You're not a special case."

I sense Buffy enter in that moment. I look up and see her walk through the door, scanning the terrain. She looks our way and immediately hurries in the other direction. I sigh. Fine. If she wants to stay on her high horse, that's her bloody choice. She's the one missing out on making a couple of extra mates.

Speaking of mates, one of hers goes to walk past us before doing a double take. "Spike?" The boy looks depressed about something, but that's none of my bleeding business. "Are you eating?"

"Yeah? What of it? You hit your head, or something? What else does it look like I'm doing?" I gesture to the food.

"Vampires eat normal food, too," Kiri tells the boy, and he snaps his head to her as if he's only just noticed she's there. "Just for the taste."

"I like spicy chicken wings, too," says Kamon between mouthfuls.

I raise my beer. "You and I are gonna get on just fine, mate."

One minute, Harris is standing there staring at us. The next, he's sat at our table, eating our food, and telling us all about his women troubles. His girl and Red aren't getting along, apparently, and he's getting sick of being caught in the middle.

"They get in these fights and they look at me like I'm the referee. Also, sometimes I'll say something about Anya, and Willow will get this look; this 'what the hell do you see in her?' look."

I nod. "I know that look. A lot of people never really got Dru, either." Those people typically ended up with their heads on pikes, be they human or demon.

"But she was insane." I glare at the boy, but he doesn't notice. "And then it's like… Well, I get all torn. Because Willow's my best friend and I really value her opinion, but Anya's my girlfriend, you know?"

"Why doesn't Willow like her?" asks Kamon. He's still stuffing his face. His stomach must be a bottomless pit.

"Because she used to be a demon," the boy replies. "It's actually a funny story."

"How do you feel about that?" Kiri asks him.

Harris shrugs. "It doesn't matter, because she's human now."

"But she was a demon for most of her life," Kiri explains. "That's not something you can ignore. Her heritage is part of her. My Watcher didn't involve my culture in my upbringing; he ignored it for the most part, apart from teaching me the language. But my parents were descended from Maori tribes, and that ancestry is still part of me. If you really want things to work with Anya, you can't pretend that part of her life never happened."

I don't hear what Harris says next, because I've spotted Buffy again across the club. She's talking to some soulful looking wanker, and both of them are smiling. Is she really that daft? Gets told she'll never age and outlive normal humans, and she's flirting with a regular human. The Slayer bloody well loves to swim in that Egyptian river. She's strong enough to wrestle with the crocodiles in it; probably why she's managed to stay in it for so long.

Someone gets in my way, and I'm about to snap at them to stop blocking my view – until I realize that the 'someone' is a bloody big troll.

"Ale!" The blighter picks up a big keg of alcohol and drinks straight from it, downing it all in one go. It'd be impressive if it wasn't also bloody terrifying.

Harris jumps to his feet, along with the rest of us. "You think I should go and get Buffy?"

"No need." Kamon whips out his staff and resizes it. Kiri stands ready next to him. I prepare myself for a good brawl.

The troll drops the keg. "Barmaid! Get me stronger ale! And some plump, succulent babies to eat!"

Across the room, Buffy notices the commotion and runs towards us. Good to know she's still got her priorities in order. Thought for a moment she was gonna avoid the fight just so she didn't have to come over and see us.

* * *

A troll. A freaking _troll_. I can't have a normal night. Stupid Hellmouth.

I leave poor Ben behind mid-sentence and hurry to join the others. Spike, Kiri and Kamon are already gearing up to fight the troll, and I still really don't want to be around the two vampires, but the troll takes priority. If they wanna help me fight it, the more the merrier.

Anya, Willow and Tara arrive, and it all comes out. Willow and Anya summoned the troll accidentally, but crazier still, Anya used to date the troll in question. Which, as Willow says, wouldn't be that weird, but apparently, he used to be a normal guy until he cheated on Anya, and she turned him into a troll in retribution (which was how she got the job as a Vengeance demon).

"Bet you're regretting it now, honey," says Xander.

"No." She shakes her head. "He deserved it. Every guy I've ever cursed deserved what they got, and I don't feel guilty for anything I did."

I frown. "But…you have a soul now."

"Yeah? So?" Her eyebrows rise. "Plenty of humans do bad things and don't regret them. And they have souls. A soul doesn't make you automatically feel guilty for doing bad things."

We can't continue our conversation, because then the troll starts ranting about witches, and Willow takes the opportunity to try and cast a spell on him. It doesn't work, troll guy swings his hammer at us, and I kick him in the stomach. He stumbles back, and I punch him. He swings his hammer and I duck to avoid it.

I sense Spike come up behind me. He throws a punch that lands, goes to throw a second one but gets knocked aside by the hammer. It'd be funny if he wasn't fighting on my team.

Kiri dashes around the troll, grabs him and throws him onto one of the pool tables. I leap forwards and try to grab the hammer, but the troll throws me backwards. I land directly on top of Spike, and in our mad scramble to get back onto our feet, Kamon joins the fight and parries the troll's swings with his staff. Whatever that thing is made out of, it must be tough; the hammer doesn't even put a dent in it.

Kiri fights beside him, and I have to admit they make a pretty good team. They're always aware of where the other is, they perform moves together in harmony; they look like two people dancing together instead of fighting. I find myself standing back to watch them, unable to pull my gaze away.

Then the troll nearly takes Kiri's head off with his hammer, and Kamon roars with rage. He vamps out and starts pulverizing. The troll gets tossed around, out of control, and it looks like the fight is about to end. But then the troll starts swinging his hammer around, knocking down the beams holding the balcony up. Kamon and Kiri try to stop him, but its too late; the last beam falls and so does the balcony.

Someone grabs me and pulls me back before a chunk of ceiling can hit me. We land on the floor, and I realize Spike is the one who saved me.

I pull out of his grasp and get to my feet. There's a lot of damage, and there's no sign of the troll. "Where is he?"

"Gone," Xander replies.

I sigh. We can't let the troll get away, but this place is a disaster. "Xander, follow him."

"And what's he supposed to do when he finds him?" Kamon asks. He raises his eyebrows at me, and is he trying to be a smartass?

"Fine. You follow him, Mr. Tough Guy." He nods and hurries out the door, staff tucked under his arm. I turn to the others. "Anya, Willow, head back to the magic shop. Find a spell that'll actually stop him." They nod and leave. "The rest of us should stay here and help."

Xander and Tara help a couple climb over the wreckage. I help Kiri lift a beam off a girl still trapped. Kiri checks her over while I survey the scene, and I notice Spike close by pillowing an injured girl's head.

Spike is helping. I understand him wanting to help us fight, because that's what he loves doing. But this…?

"What are you doing?"

"Making this woman more comfortable." He looks at me like it should be obvious. "I'm not sampling, I'll have you know. I mean, look at all these lovely blood-coated people. I could, but not a taste for Spike. Not a lick. Know you wouldn't like it."

All I can do is stare at him. "You want credit for _not_ feeling off of bleeding disaster victims?"

"Well, yeah."

What. The. Hell? "You're disgusting." I get as far away from him as I can and distract myself by helping more people. One of the guys working behind the bar calls the cops, and the fire department. I look around, trying to find Ben, but he's disappeared. I hope he got out before everything went to hell.

I start to clear away the rubble. I don't think anyone else is trapped underneath it, but it gives me something to do. Kiri comes up beside me and does the same. "I get that you don't want to sing his praises or make a big deal out of it, but he's trying. Most vampires would struggle with all this blood around them, and it's pretty noteworthy when one manages to keep themselves in check."

Wait, is she actually…? "Are you seriously suggesting I give him credit?"

"What I'm saying is Spike isn't human, and shouldn't be held up to human standards," she explains. "It's like different cultures around the world having different rules. Kamon and I once visited a tribe where it was perfectly acceptable to walk around naked. Trying to hold those people up to the same standards as the ones you have here wouldn't be fair on them."

"But they're all humans," I tell her. "Spike's a demon."

"A demon who's struggling to integrate himself back into human society, with you hindering him at every turn. You didn't even thank him for pulling you out the way of the collapse. You could have been under all that if it wasn't for him."

I actually feel a little bad for a second, before I remember who I'm feeling bad about. "You don't get credit for basic decency."

"If he was just carrying out basic decency, why did you question him about it?"

"Because he's an evil, soulless demon who shouldn't be helping disaster victims?"

"The soul has nothing to do with it," she says. "Spike doesn't even look like he's struggling around all this blood. Angel would have, and I know that for a fact. When Kamon and I met him, we fought. I ended up bleeding from hitting my head, and it threw Angel into a frenzy. He tried to feed from me, and would have done if Kamon hadn't stopped him."

I want to deny it, but I can't. Because yeah, Angel always had trouble trying to control himself at the sight of blood. "I let him feed off me. He'd been poisoned, and only the blood of a Slayer could cure him. He tried to turn me down, and I had to punch him in order to get him to bite me. He…he didn't want to do it, because he knew he wouldn't be able to stop himself from taking too much. That night, he nearly killed me."

"And yet, you continue to insist that he loves you."

"He _does_."

She sighs. "Maybe it's not the fact that you're comparing Spike to people. You're comparing him to Angel. But that's not really fair, because one has a soul while the other doesn't. If you really wanted to make a fair comparison, then compare Spike to Angelus. How does he hold up then?"

She's really gonna make me say it. "I'd take Spike any day. He helped me save the world, while Angelus was the one trying to destroy it."

"And I say that Spike should be compared to Angelus, but if you really think about it, Spike's chip is the same as Angel's soul," she continues. "The only difference is, the soul forces Angel to feel guilty. It forces him to do good deeds. Spike's chip prevents him from feeding, but it doesn't force him to do anything. He helps you because he _wants_ to."

Too much information. My brain's hurting.

"He helps because he's bored, and to stay on my good side," I tell her. "Not out of some desire to do good."

There's a loud crash outside. I run to the door without thinking, Kiri behind me. I sense Spike following us, as well. When we arrive in the Bronze's back alley, we find Kamon standing still, watching two figures fighting. The first is the troll, and he's getting the crap kicked out of him.

The other figure is Glory.

The troll is swinging his hammer at random, not knowing how to aim it properly. It takes all of a few seconds for Glory to knock it out of his hand, and then she throws him into a wall.

"I really don't wanna stick my fingers inside your stinky mind. Guess I'll just kill you." And she rips his head clean off.

Fuck.

"You wanna do this now?" Kiri whispers to me.

"Oh yeah." I retrieve the hammer from where it landed. If I can utilize it properly, I could put a dent in the skank.

"I hope you try your best to survive, little Slayer," Kamon says to Kiri. "I don't want to have to raze the earth to avenge your death, before meeting the end of a pointy stake."

I turn to them. "Raze the earth?" That definitely sounds like something an evil vampire will do.

"He doesn't mean it," says Kiri. Her words don't bring much comfort. "He means he'll massacre every evil demon he can find."

Glory's been busy checking her nails, and finally notices us. "Oh, if it isn't Duffy the Vampire Layer!"

"_Slayer_!" I want to say that Kiri's the one who's sleeping with a vamp right now, but there's no time. Glory's right in front of us, and she… Actually, she looks weird. Oh, she's wearing a guy's clothes. They look familiar…

The skank stalks towards us, complaining about her clothes all the way. I step forwards and whack her with the troll hammer. It actually does some damage, throwing her against the wall. For the first time, I have hope that we can beat her.

We attack her together, the four of us all at once. Kamon's staff manages to do some damage as well, and he and I make sure to get in the most hits. Spike tries to grab Glory from behind, but she throws him into the wall. Kiri barely manages to avoid the same fate, ducking and rolling out of the way in time.

Finally, Kamon manages to uppercut the skank with his staff, and there's a flash of power as he does. Then I use the hammer to hit Glory back into the wall again.

And suddenly, she disappears. Vanishes into thin air.

In her place is Ben, cowering against the wall. How did he get there?

Spike was preparing to throw a punch at Glory, but with her gone, he hits Ben instead. The poor guy cries out in pain and falls to the ground.

"Hey, Spike! Don't hit Ben!" I offer him a hand and help him to his feet. "Are you OK? What happened?"

"Wait…" I turn to Spike, who's looking at his hand in confusion. "It didn't hurt. Actually, that makes sense. He and Glory are the same person. Glory just turned into him."

"What? Are you saying that Glory was holding Ben hostage, and she left him behind to distract us while she escaped?" I ask. Spike's words came out jumbled, and it's hard to make sense of them. Something doesn't feel right, something's missing…

Spike frowns. "Are you completely stoned, Slayer? You just saw what happened!"

Ben cries out, and I spin around to see Kamon pinning him against the wall. _Finally_, he reveals his true colours. It's about time.

"Kamon?" Kiri looks confused. Poor woman.

"Kiri, do you trust me?" Kamon asks.

She nods her head straight away. "Always." Oh great, she still thinks he's the bee's knees. (And why do people say bee's knees? Do bees have knees?)

Kamon turns back to Ben. It happens so fast.

His staff glows, and he slashes it upwards.

Ben's body collapses to the ground.

"NO!" I rush forwards. "What the hell?! You just killed a man! Kiri, why didn't you-?" I freeze when the fog in my mind clears, and it all makes sense. Kamon just killed Glory. Who's also Ben.

Ben is Glory.

Ben _was_ Glory. Now he and she are gone, lying dead on the ground.

The memory of Glory turning into Ben was just…not there for a moment, like there was some kind of magic stopping me from remembering. And it sounds like Kamon and Spike weren't affected by it, probably because they're vamps. Part of me wonders how that works, but the rest of me can't stop staring at the body on the ground.

"Who was he?" asks Spike.

"Ben," I say. "He worked at the hospital. He helped with Mom. I was talking to him in the Bronze. He was…nice. He was always nice to me."

Another Buffy boyfriend (potential in this case) turns out to be not who he says he was. And alright, I didn't want him to be an _actual_ boyfriend, but it would have been nice to go out on a few dates with him. But apparently, I'm not allowed to have that. Buffy can't have nice things. All of Buffy's boyfriends have to be evil, or part of an evil underground operation. Or just a jerk.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Spike go to open his mouth. I expect him to make some sort of comment about my past boyfriends – Angel, Parker, Riley, or all three – but then he pauses and shuts his mouth again. Huh, who knew Spike could keep his words to himself.

Someone rubs my shoulder in reassurance. Kiri. "There's a good chance he was trying to get close to you, to get information about the Key."

Right. The Key. _God_, what if he found out Dawn is the Key? I could've left her with him without even knowing, and he would've whisked her away before I could stop him. I need to be more careful from now on. No more one-time dates to try and make me feel normal.

"If it helps to ease your conscience a bit, Slayer," Spike says, "the chip didn't read him as human."

Knowing that should make me feel better. But for some reason, it doesn't.

"Spike and I will burn the body," says Kamon.

"We'll go and tell the others what happened." Kiri takes my hand and leads me away. I let her.

My brain is a mess, and I don't know what to think.

* * *

**End Notes**: I probably won't be able to update again until Saturday.


	8. Chapter 8: I Was Made to Love You

**Chapter Notes**: The events of season 5 are a little out of order in this story. The pacing worked better this way.

* * *

_We are not enemies, _

_there is no good in that…_

~ _Better Angels_ by Barbra Streisand

* * *

It's strange, patrolling with another Slayer again. I haven't done this since Faith, and that thought doesn't leave me with good memories. But Kiri's nice, apart from the whole 'marrying-a-soulless-demon' part. So long as she doesn't talk about her husband, we should be good.

"They managed to work out their issues?" she asks.

"Yep." I nod. "Willow and Anya came to an understanding. Not sure how long it'll last, though. They'll start pointing fingers at each other when Giles gets back and sees how trashed the shop is."

"When is he coming back?"

"Tonight." I haven't told him about Glory's death yet. It's been twenty-four hours since it happened, and I've had plenty of chances to call him. But I want to tell him in person, not when there could be someone from the Council listening in. I don't like Kamon, but I like Kiri, and I don't want the Council finding out she's here.

My Slayer senses come to life, and from Kiri's reaction, hers do, too. I remove the stake from my back pocket when half a dozen vampires appear from behind a mausoleum; there's one on top of the structure as well, and it takes me a moment to recognize her: Harmony.

I relax. For a second there, I thought I was actually in danger.

"Surprised to see me, Buffy?" Harmony yells down.

"Not really," I tell her. "And how do you keep getting minions to work for you?" It's a legitimate question, but I can guess. All the minions are male, and Harmony isn't exactly hideous.

"Shut up!" She stamps her foot like a toddler having a tantrum. "I'm here for revenge! You took my Blondie Bear, and when I kill you, he'll come back to me!"

I sense Kiri go still beside me, but I don't question why. I'm too busy trying to figure out what Harmony means. "Spike? I didn't take him from you. Why would you think I-?"

"I said _shut up_! Get her, boys! And that other Slayer! It's her fault too, she was there!"

The vampires swarm us, but they may as well be cannon fodder. I dust two of them with ease before looking back up at Harmony. "How about you come down here and fight me yourself, bitch?"

She vamps out and jumps off the mausoleum. "I should be the one to kill you, anyway. If I bring your head back to Spike, he'll love me again!"

"Really?" I punch her in the face. "Look, I know Spike has questionable tastes in women, because Drusilla was batshit crazy. But even _Spike_ wouldn't date you for longer than a few weeks. I'm surprised he's kept you around this long."

Harmony laughs. "_Finally,_ you embrace your lameness. His 'tastes' includes you. Spike broke up with me because he says he's in love with you."

I freeze.

Spike is _what?!_

With a snarl, Harmony goes for my neck, but at the last second Kiri comes up beside us and punches her away.

"I should have let Kamon kill you," she says.

"Whatever!" Harmony tosses her hair over her shoulder. "You know what? Spike can have you. If he wants to date losers like you, that's his loss. I deserve _so_ much better than him."

She disappears into the trees, but I barely notice her go. I don't even notice that the rest of the vamps are dust in the wind. I can't concentrate on anything other than what Harmony's just told me.

"Buffy? Are you OK?"

The thoughts going through my head finally register, and they come pouring out of my mouth all at once. "Can you _believe_ her? Attacking me over something that isn't even true! Spike's _finally_ grown tired of her and dumped her, and she blames _me_? _And_ she makes up a stupid reason why? Spike's in love with me. Ha! That'll happen when pigs fly!"

"Stranger things have happened on a Hellmouth," says Kiri. "Don't be surprised if pigs grow wings and start flying around."

I start to laugh, but it quickly dies when I see the expression on her face. She's serious. "Wait, are you telling me pigs start flying on Hellmouths?" She shakes her head. "Well, what? That Spike is actually in love with me? Because that's…" But she doesn't look like she's kidding.

Which means…

"It's true. He has feelings for you. I saw it in my dreams," she says. "I was also there when he admitted it to Harmony."

I'm already shaking my head. "No… No, he doesn't love me! He doesn't have feelings, because he's a soulless vampire!"

"Then explain why he was devoted to Drusilla for over a century. Explain why he let a club full of people go in order to save her."

I roll my eyes. "Drusilla was his sire. There's a bond between them. He can't help it."

"Kamon killed his sire," she says. "And from what I've heard, Angel killed his sire, too."

"Angel had a soul." How is she not getting what it means to have a soul? "And I'm tired of hearing all about how great your husband is. 'Kamon saved me. Kamon won't hurt anyone. Kamon killed his sire. Kamon loves me.' Kamon is a soulless monster who won't hesitate to kill everyone I love if given the chance."

Her expression turns deadly. I saw shades of it when she confronted Giles a few days ago in the Magic Box, about whether or not he really believed Kamon was a myth. That look is nothing compared to the one she's giving me now.

"I've tried to be patient with you, Buffy. You keep saying these things, and I've let them go because you've been hurt. But I've had enough. If you say that about my husband again, I _will_ make you regret it."

I gape at her. "Are you _threatening_ me?!"

"You haven't threatened someone talking shit about people you love? And if you think I can't take you, remember you've only been a Slayer for, what, four or five years? I've been a Slayer for twenty."

I throw a punch to prove her wrong, but she dodges it and makes it look ridiculously easy. She then grabs my wrist, and before I can stop her, she flips me over her shoulder. I want to kick myself for focussing on the wrong person; it was Kiri I needed to watch out for, not her husband. I wait for her to strike again.

But the attack doesn't come. She stands back, and I get to my feet and glare at her. "You're not gonna finish me off?"

"I'm not here to hurt you," she says. "I'm on your side. It's not my fault if you won't listen to me."

"Because you're lying! Spike's just _obsessed_ with me! He came here to kill me, and now that he can't do that, he's…probably made himself believe he loves me instead. But it's not love, because he's a vampire, and vampires don't have feelings. This whole thing is sick and twisted, and I want him, and you and your husband, out of my town! Get off this planet, if you can manage it!"

I turn and run. I hear Kiri calling after me, but I ignore her. I've gotta get away. I've gotta get home.

I don't stop running until I'm through the front door. I slam it shut behind me and let myself fall back against it, exhausted. I let out a sigh.

"Buffy?"

That's Giles. I move away from the door and enter the dining room, where my Watcher and my mother are sat together. "Hey."

"Buffy, are you alright?" Giles frowns at me.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Peachy." Maybe I answered too quickly, but I don't care. "What about you?"

"Not very happy, I'm afraid," he says. "I stepped off an eleven-hour flight to find my shop a complete mess. I fear to think what the place would've looked like if I'd been away longer than three days."

"Then maybe we would've had time to clean it up," I tell him, forcing a smile on my face. "You know, if Willow used magic to help."

"Yes, because nothing could possibly go wrong with that."

OK, fair enough.

Mom wraps her hands around her mug. "Rupert, I still don't understand why the other Watchers made you go all the way to England when they don't know anything."

Crap, I forgot about all this.

"It doesn't matter," I say to them. "I…I thought Willow or Anya or one of the others might have told you, but I guess they forgot… I'm sorry, Giles. You didn't need to go to England. Glory's dead."

He takes off his glasses and stares at me. "Can you repeat that?"

"Glory. With the deadness. She's deader than dead," I explain. "Willow told you about the troll, right? So basically, the troll ran into Glory, and she killed him. I used the troll hammer to fight her, and the others helped me."

"And by others, I assume you mean Spike, Kiri and Kamon?"

I flinch. I hope he doesn't notice. "Yeah. Them. Anyway, I managed to knock her against the wall, and then suddenly she turned into this guy. Mom, you remember Ben at the hospital?"

"Oh yes. He seemed like a nice boy."

"Not so nice. He was… I don't know, sharing a body with Glory? But when he changed, there was this magic that protected him; it made me forget that he'd changed, so I didn't know that he and Glory are one of the same. It made Kiri forget, too. But the magic didn't work on vampires, so Spike and Kamon could remember it happening. Kamon grabbed Ben and killed him. I…I don't think Ben was entirely human even though he felt like it, because Spike punched him right after he changed and his chip didn't fire. Spike and Kamon burnt the body. No more Glory. We might have to worry about her minions, but they shouldn't be a problem. Sorry you went all that way for nothing, Giles."

"Even if she hadn't been killed, it still would have been for nothing," says Giles. "Like your mother said, they don't know anything. They have no record of Glory or anyone like her. They were going to look into it based on the information I'd given them, but with Glory dead, I should call and tell them there's no need."

"Good." I nod. I don't want the Council involved, after hearing about all the nasty things they do to their Slayers.

Giles puts his glasses back on, and he has that serious face. Either I'm in trouble, or he wants to tell me something that'll end up being the last thing I wanna hear. "Buffy, Kiri's appearance and my brief stay in England has made me realize… I should have been a better Watcher for you. As part of your training, I wasn't supposed to educate you on the benign demons of the world, so I didn't. But that has only left you confused about the world; by now most women your age know that the world isn't made up of black and whites. I should have taught you this, and I apologize."

"It's cool. Peachy." I try not to snap at him. And hey, I can totally believe that there are some demons out there who are nice. But vampires aren't among them.

"And Kiri's arrival has also made me aware of my other shortcomings as a Watcher," he continues. "We never fully talked about what happened with Angel."

Yep. I was right. We're talking about the last thing I wanna hear.

"There was nothing to talk about," I tell him.

"Your reaction in the Magic Box tells me otherwise," he says. "It all happened so fast, and you were so young, Buffy. Angel was your first time experiencing love, and to lose it so suddenly and so painfully… I believe you didn't process your emotions correctly. Instead you shut down and clung to the only belief that, at the time, hurt the least. Telling yourself that he simply couldn't love you without his soul made things easier to deal with, but having re-evaluated Angel's behaviour myself, I'm of the opinion that-"

I know the words are coming, and I don't let him say them. Not Giles. He's my Watcher; he should be on my side.

"I _said_ there was _nothing_ to talk about," I tell him firmly, leaving no room for argument. "It happened, it's done, it's not up for discussion."

"Buffy." Mom tries to get my attention, and I see the worry in her eyes. "This isn't healthy."

"I think I know what's healthy for me and what isn't!" I snap. I don't mean to, but I can't bring myself to care. "Also, while we're on the subject, Giles, I need you to get Willow and Tara to perform a disinvite spell on the house. Spike and Kamon have an invitation into the house, and it needs to go. I don't want any more vampires in my house, ever again." Apart from Angel, but I don't say that.

Mom gets to her feet. "Buffy, this is my house. Don't I get a say in the matter?"

"And why must we disinvite them?" Giles asks. "Spike has a chip and can't hurt anyone, and Kamon is on our side. Perhaps if you explain why-"

"I'm the Slayer! I don't _need_ to explain myself!" I storm up the stairs and into my room, slamming the door shut behind me. What's wrong with them? Vampire equals bad. Do I need a reason to lock them out of my house? They could turn on us at any moment, even Spike with his chip.

Against my will, an image of Kiri and Kamon smiling at one another appears in my mind, followed by one of Spike fawning over Drusilla. My next thought is just as unwanted: Angel never looked at me like Spike and Kamon looked at their significant others. Will I ever meet anyone who looks at me in that way?

I see Spike again, but in Drusilla's place, I see myself. The imaginary me smiles.

No, no. I can't think that. It's gross. I need a shower.

* * *

Spike is so full of life and enthusiasm. Even when I was only hearing rumours about him, I should have known he'd be like me.

My little Slayer and I have been everywhere, and vampires like me – who can control their demon and their bloodlust – are few and far between. The few we met thanked us for our help, but preferred to stay close to their loved ones. And we couldn't stay with them long; we were always on the move, always one step ahead of the Council.

We're sat down in his crypt, Spike and I, watching a show called _Passions_. Spike is explaining everything to me, and while I don't understand it and can't really get into it, I listen anyway. Because it's important to him. It didn't take Kiri and I long to figure out that the vampire has little to no friends here, and I feel myself duty-bound to give him that attention he's been craving.

The episode ends, and Spike is about to fast-forward the tape to find the next one when I sense a Slayer outside the crypt. I know which one it is immediately; mine.

Kiri opens the door and hurries inside, her eyes filled with panic. I'm immediately on my feet and embracing her, checking her over for injuries.

"We have a problem," she says.

"What's that now?" Spike has stopped the tape and is getting to his feet.

Kiri meets Spike's gaze. "Buffy knows you have feelings for her. Harmony attacked us and told her."

Spike sighs and puts his coat on. "Judging by that look on your face, she didn't take it well."

"I don't think I've ever been this stubborn." My little Slayer rests her head against me, and I stroke her hair. "She won't let herself see anything beyond what she believes, no matter how much it hurts her."

"Her poor little head is tangled up in Angel's mind games," says Spike. "It's like a Gordian Knot up there. I should go to her. Try and explain."

Spike is odd like that. One day he's smart and knows exactly what he's doing, and another day he does something stupid without thinking. "I wouldn't. How will talking to her make things better?"

Kiri nods. "He's right. Buffy doesn't believe you have feelings. She won't want to listen to anything you have to say. The best thing for you to do is keep your distance and let her cool off. I can try and talk her again in a couple of days, maybe talk to Joyce and her Watcher, as well."

"Let Buffy come to you," I say. "It's the only way."

But Spike is already pacing and fidgeting. Of all the vampires I've met in my five hundred years of existence, he takes the grand price for being the most impatient.

"Sod it. I can't wait. You can't make her see reason? I'll have to tie her down until she listens. If she can't run away and hide from the truth, she'll _have_ to listen to me, right?"

Kiri and I exchange worried looks. That doesn't sound good.

"Spike…" My little Slayer reaches out a hand. "That doesn't sound like a good idea…"

"I've got chains downstairs. I'll chain her up, and I won't let her go until she understands. It's gotta work."

He goes to leave, and I pull away from Kiri to stand in his way. Then when he tries to push past me, I push him backwards. "I can't let you leave."

"Bloody hell! Get out my way, you wanker!" He punches me in return.

I'll admit, he's a good fighter. He throws everything he has into it, and it doesn't surprise me that he's a 'go hard or go home' kind of guy. He spins to give extra momentum behind his next punch, and I barely manage to jump back and avoid the hit. I know I'll be able to catch him off-guard if I move around behind him, but that'll give him a chance to run for the open door.

So I stay in front and take a kick to the chest. I'm tempted to whip out my staff and end the fight here and now, but I don't want to do some lasting damage. I dodge his next two punches and duck to avoid his kick. I spring back up again and ram my fist into his stomach as I do, sending him stumbling backwards.

Spike's demon face shifts into place, and he charges at me with a roar. I wait until the very last second before I jump and flip right over him. He barely has time to skid to a halt; when I land, I grab the collar of his coat and yank him backwards. When he's in front of me, I kick him in the head and send him to the floor. He spins as he falls lands on his front, and I pin him down.

"Good fight. We should spar sometime."

"Let me up! Mate, I swear-"

"Spike, you need to listen to us!" My little Slayer comes up beside us and stops next to Spike's head. "If you chain Buffy up, you'll lose her forever. All you'll be doing is proving her right."

He stops struggling and gives up. I let go of him and get back to my feet, but Spike remains on the floor. His vamp face is gone, and he looks defeated. "Bloody hell… You're right. I shouldn't do that to her."

I hold out my hand and help him to his feet. "She'll expect you to act like any other vampire she faces nightly, and you need to prove that you're not like them. Right now, the moral high ground is yours."

"Fancy that." He chuckles. "A vamp has the moral high ground over a Slayer."

"In her heart, she doesn't mean to act this way," says Kiri. "But she's hurt and confused, and she's lashing out like a wounded animal. We need to wait until she realizes on her own accord that she's the one in the wrong. Until then, maybe you should go and see Joyce? You said you were going to, and she can help."

Spike nods. "Yeah, that sounds like a good plan, one even I can't bollocks up. I'll go tomorrow morning when Buffy will be at college."

Kiri and I share a glance, and both of us hope that Spike gets there in time.

* * *

It still feels bloody surreal, walking around in the sun like this. I keep expecting to burst into flames at any moment. I wouldn't be that surprised if I did; everything else in my bleeding un-life keeps going wrong for me.

When Buffy's house comes into view, I pause when a thought occurs to me. Will I still have an invitation? I wouldn't be shocked if Buffy's asked Red to pull my invite, just because she can't handle the fact that I've got feelings for her. She's nearly twenty bloody years old, when is she gonna grow up and realize that hiding from her problems doesn't make them disappear?

Still, I'm sure Joyce will invite me back in again. Maybe. Unless Buffy's being telling her all sorts of crap about me. Suppose I'll just have to turn on the charm.

I walk up to the front door and knock. It doesn't take a second for Joyce to answer it, and she smiles when she sees me. Guess that means Buffy hasn't been telling her anything. "Spike! I haven't seen you in so long."

"It's good to see you up and about again, Joyce." I smile at her and casually rest my hand on the doorframe. My fingers slip over the threshold with ease, and I hide my relief. My invite still stands. Either Buffy doesn't think it's worth her time, or she just hasn't gotten around to pulling it, yet. If her reaction was as bad as Kiri said it was, I'm leaning towards it being the latter.

"Come inside. I'll make you a drink." Joyce steps aside, letting me pass, before shutting the door behind me.

Two hot chocolates later, and we're merrily chatting away. I don't want to spring my feelings for Buffy on her right away, so we talk about other things first; her health, the gallery, _Passions_. When that conversation comes to a natural end, I find myself staring into my empty mug. I'm stalling. I know it.

"Is everything alright?" Joyce asks. "Did something happen with Buffy last night? She came in demanding that we disinvite you from the house, but didn't tell us why. Did you do something to her?"

Her tone of voice is hard at that last part; there's the woman who hit me with an axe. I smile. "No, I didn't. The chip won't let me, even if I wanted to. Doesn't stop her from hitting me all the bloody time, even when I've done nothing to deserve it."

"She hits you when she knows you can't fight back?" She sounds shocked and disappointed. "That's not right at all. I'll have words with her when she gets in."

"Might not help much," I admit. "And if I'm honest, you might have a reason to get the axe out and come after me with it."

"And why do you think you deserve that? You said you haven't done anything to her."

"Haven't done anything to her, no." I keep my gaze averted, not wanting to see her reaction. "Just gone and fallen in love with her."

Silence. It drags on longer than I thought it would, but at least Joyce hasn't brought out the axe I'm certain she has hidden in here somewhere and cut my head off with it. Doubt I'm out of the woods yet, though; she could still run me out of town.

I don't look up again until she speaks. "I…don't know what to say. I've always wanted what's best for my little girl; I want her to have a happy and stable relationship, and I have to be honest, Spike. You're far from stable."

"I know." I sigh. "Know I don't deserve her."

"But I appreciate your honesty," she continues. "And I still prefer you to Angel. I talked to him, before he left. I told him that I wanted Buffy to have a normal life, and that she wouldn't let herself have it so long as he was around. I could tell he was already thinking the same thing, and I merely told him what he wanted to hear. I didn't care why he left, I just wanted him gone."

"She's better off without him," I agree. "But Joyce, Buffy is the Slayer. She's never gonna have a normal life. She's not even gonna die of old age; marrying a normal bloke will only end in disaster once he figures out that he's ageing and she's not."

Joyce stares at me. "Buffy can't age? She didn't tell me this."

"Oh. Thought she did. Mind, she's only just found out herself. The new Slayer told her."

"That makes sense." She lets out a little laugh. "I'm silly. It never even occurred to me that Kiri looked too young to be a thirty-six-year-old."

I chuckle, too.

Then I hear a key in the front door, and my senses come to life. Slayer.

Balls.

* * *

My Slayer senses tingle the second I open the front door. It's day time, and only two vampires would be out during the day; Spike or Kamon. I drop my bag and sprint through the house, following the tingles.

I find Spike sat at the kitchen island with Mom, two empty mugs in front of them. Honestly, I would have preferred it to be Kamon. At least he doesn't have icky "feelings" for me.

"Spike, what are you doing in my house?"

He looks scared. Good. "I came to see your mum. Haven't seen her since before she went into hospital."

Bullshit. "Stop acting like your care! You're just waiting for us to let our guard down so you can swoop in and kill us all! Because that's what you do; you're an evil, soulless demon, and you don't care about anyone! You don't have feelings, and you _definitely_ don't have feelings for me! I want you out of my house, my life and my town! And while you're at it, take your new vamp best friend and his stupid wife with you!"

Mom suddenly jumps to her feet, and I take a step back at the look on her face. I don't think I've ever seen her this angry.

"Buffy Anne Summers, I did _not_ raise you to treat people this way!" she yells.

"It's just Spike! I can't hurt his feelings if he doesn't _have_ them!" I yell back. "And besides, I thought I told you and Giles to disinvite him from the house!"

"This is _my_ house! If I want Spike here, then that's _my_ choice! Not yours!" She slams her hand against the work top, and I can't help flinching. "Your recent attitude has been unacceptable. This is behaviour I would have expected back when you were in high school, not now when you're supposed to be a responsible adult woman."

It looks like she wants to say more, but she suddenly sways and brings her hand up to her forehead. Spike leaps up from his seat and goes to her. "Joyce?"

"I'm OK. It's just a headache."

Spike takes her free hand in his, and I clench my fists. Monsters aren't allowed to touch my mother. I want to rip him away, but I can't risk my mother getting caught in the middle. She could get hurt.

"Do you want me to get anything for…?" Spike cuts himself off and stares directly at my mother's head. His eyes go wide. "We need to go. Now."

Wait, what?

Spike tugs on Mom's arm, and she frowns at him. "Spike, what's wrong?"

"I need to get you to the hospital. Something's not right. Your blood… I can smell something wrong where they took the tumour out. Think it might be an aneurysm. Smelt them before in people; killed them 'cause, you know, if they're gonna die anyway, might as well eat them."

That pulls me back into the moment. "How about you _don't_ talk about your old eating habits, Spike?" I cross my arms. "And if you think I'm gonna let you take my mother away, you're wrong."

"Slayer, your mum needs a hospital, or she could die."

"Or maybe you're just trying to avoid getting your ass kicked. You don't care about us, and even if you did – but you can't, because no soul means no feelings – my mother is _fine_."

He lets go of Mom and gives me a desperate look. But it's an act, I know it is. "If you don't get out of my way, Slayer-"

"This is _my_ house, and I'm removing you from it!"

I lunge for him, but he ducks out of the way faster than I thought he could move.

"Sorry, pet."

I turn, and his fist collides with my face.

* * *

It's easier than I thought it'd be to fight the pain in my head. Must be the adrenaline. I need to get Joyce to the hospital before it's too late.

"Spike!"

Buffy falls to the floor, unconscious. I make sure she hasn't hurt herself further before I turn back to Joyce. "I'm sorry, Joyce. I'm so sorry. I didn't want to do that, I swear. But she wasn't listening to me, and I knew there was nothing I could do or say to convince her. Too stubborn for her own good, that one. Now please, listen to me. We need to go _now_. There's something not right in your head, and if I don't get you to a doctor…" I look between her and the unconscious Slayer. "Think of Buffy and the Little Bit. They need you. If you die…"

Joyce looks down at her daughter. "You would never have done that unless it was serious."

"And not just because of the chip. I love Buffy and I don't wanna hurt her, but losing you will hurt her more. Just…please."

Resolve fills her face and she grabs her keys. "I'm trusting you."

"I'll let you dust me if I'm wrong." I take the keys from her. "Don't think you should be driving. Doubt you'll be willing to break the speed limit, either."

I drag her outside towards her car, and I hope and pray I'm not too late.

* * *

I'm not asleep, but I'm dozing when the phone rings. I jump out of Kamon's arms and pick it up. "Hello?"

"_Kiri, that you, pet?_"

"Spike?" He doesn't have a phone in his crypt, and I wonder where he's calling from. "Is everything alright?"

"_Don't know. I don't know…_" I've never heard him sound so worried. "_Listen, I'm at the hospital. Joyce had an aneurysm, but I sensed it before it burst. She's in surgery now._"

"Joyce had an aneurysm?" I look over at Kamon; he's up and already starting to pull his clothes on. "Does Buffy know?"

"_That's the problem. I was sat talking with Joyce when her Royal Bitchness came in and started yelling. Joyce stood up for me, and then her head started hurting. Didn't take me long to smell the bloody thing in her head. But the Slayer didn't believe me when I tried to explain; claimed there was nothing wrong and was gonna kick me out of the house. I had to knock her out. Got a nasty headache for it, but that doesn't matter. Point is, I didn't hit her very hard, so I don't think she stayed down for long. Just long enough for me to get Joyce out of the house and into the car._"

"So, what you're saying is there's a rampaging Slayer on the loose who'll probably stake you on sight?"

"_If you can find her and calm her down before she gets here, that'd be much obliged_."

"OK. We'll meet you at the hospital." He hangs up and I do the same. "Did you hear all that?"

"Yes."

I start pulling my clothes on, as well. "There's a chance she could still be at the house, so I'll check there. You should go and check Spike's crypt; if she thinks Spike kidnapped her mother, that'll be the first place she'll go. I'll meet you there."

* * *

I wake up to a thumping headache. Why am I lying on the kitchen floor?

No one's around. I climb to my feet and notice two empty mugs on the island. Suddenly it all comes rushing back to me; Spike being here, Mom yelling, Spike trying to sell me some bullshit about Mom being sick again and needing a hospital…

They're not here, and looking out the kitchen window, I notice that Mom's car isn't here, either. He must've convinced Mom to go with him, or he put her under a thrall. Drusilla had one, so he could've gotten it from her.

When I catch up to Spike, he's gonna be so much dust.

But first, I need to get some backup. I grab the phone and speed-dial Giles.

"_Hello?_"

"Giles, it's me. We have a problem."

"_Buffy?_"

"Spike kidnapped my mom."

"_What? Buffy, are you sure? The chip would prevent him from such actions._"

"It didn't stop him from knocking me out. And I think he convinced Mom to go with him under the guise of taking her to the hospital."

"_The hospital?_"

"Giles, please let me explain. I came in and found him sitting with Mom, and I tried to kick him out, but Mom wouldn't let me. We had an argument, and then Spike suddenly announced that there was something wrong with Mom and we needed to take her to the hospital. Said she had an…aneurysm? He was just trying to avoid getting his ass kicked, and I tried to throw him outside, but he knocked me out."

I'm met with silence. I wonder if the line's cut out, but then I hear a sigh. "_Buffy, what makes you think Spike is lying? Have you not considered that he might be telling the truth? He can be an idiot, but he wouldn't do anything to cause the chip to fire without a good reason._"

I pull the phone away from my ear and stare at it. Why is _no one_ listening to me lately? "Giles, have you forgotten who and what Spike is? Why would he want to take my mother to the hospital? He's kidnapped her, and I need to find them. Call everyone else and get them out looking, too – except for Kiri. I don't trust her husband."

"_Buffy, perhaps you should check the hospital and make sure-_"

I hang up. I don't have time to listen to his pointless arguments. I need to find Mom.

* * *

I can't think.

There's blood all around me, but it's not even a little bit tempting. I'm too worried about Joyce. What if I didn't get her here in time? If I was just a few seconds too late… If the Slayer hadn't been stuck so far up her own arse…

"Spike?"

I stop pacing and look up. It's the Watcher. Bloody hell, Buffy must have called him. "Look, I don't know what your Slayer's told you-"

"She said that you sensed an aneurysm forming in Joyce's head, and demanded she be taken to the hospital. You even knocked out Buffy to do so. My Slayer seems to believe that you have instead kidnapped Joyce, but I wanted to discover the truth for myself. What happened?"

I sink into a seat and let my head fall into my hands. "Your Slayer tried to stop me. If I got Joyce here a few seconds too late… Buffy will never forgive herself."

* * *

I go to Spike's crypt. He's not the smartest vamp, and he doesn't think his plans through. He'll take Mom to his home, not realizing that it's the first place I'll look for them.

I kick the door in and storm inside, stake raised. It's empty. No vamp tingles. Maybe Spike is smarter than I give him credit for.

There's a stone out of place on the far side, and I walk towards it. A rug's been tossed aside, and the stone is partially covering a hole in the ground. Spike's crypt has a lower level. Maybe that's where he's hiding with Mom.

I climb down the ladder. Still no vamp tingles, and the light from above is enough for me to see everything. There's a bed taking up most of the room, and a small bookshelf has been pushed up against the wall. Spike reads? I walk over to it and pick up a book, opening it on a random page.

Poetry. Why does Spike have a book of poetry?

I hear a noise upstairs, and my Slayer senses tingle. Finally. He must have stopped off somewhere first, and I ended up overtaking him. I hurry up the ladder, but the vampire I see isn't Spike.

It's Kamon. "Buffy, I've been looking for you."

I raise my stake. "Did Spike send you? Are you working with him? What have you guys done with my mother?!"

The vampire blinks and frowns at me, confused. "Buffy, Spike took your mother to the hospital."

"Bullshit." I move towards him. "Spike doesn't have a soul, and neither do you. You don't care about anyone other than yourselves. You _can't_."

He rolls his eyes. "Kiri will be here soon. She can explain."

"And I'm supposed to trust a Slayer who thought it was a great idea to marry a soulless vampire? She's a stupid idiot who's going to get me and my friends killed."

Kamon glares. It's the exact same look Kiri gave me yesterday. "Take that back."

I lunge, aiming my stake for his chest. He steps aside with ease and holds his leg out, tripping me up. I stumble out the door and into the sunlight, and I don't get a chance to find my balance; Kamon grabs my shirt and throws me further into the cemetery.

I land hard, but recover quickly. I scramble to my feet. "Thanks for finally giving me an excuse to stake you."

"I'm sorry. I don't want to hurt you," he says. "But if you call my wife stupid again-"

I throw a punch at his head. He dodges the first, then the second, then hits the back of my head with casual grace. His arms are crossed behind him and he hasn't even pulled his staff out of his hair.

"I'm trying to kill you!" I yell. "Can you at least _act_ like it?"

"I will when you start acting like a Slayer instead of a whiney little girl."

I scream and throw myself at him. I give him my all. He actually fights back, which is better, but he still doesn't draw his staff. He's staying on the defensive, and doesn't make another move to try and hurt me. He doesn't even vamp out. Why isn't he trying to kill me?

"Stop!" Kiri suddenly gets in between us, and pushes me back hard enough so I fall over. She places her other hand on her husband's chest.

I jump to my feet. "Spike's kidnapped my mother, and Kamon's stopping me from trying to find them!"

"Spike hasn't kidnapped _anyone_." Kiri shakes her head. "Buffy, will you stop acting like a child for _one minute_ so you can actually _listen_ to what other people are saying? Your mother is at the hospital, and you need to go there _now_."

I don't have any other leads. I could check, just to prove them wrong; prove that Mom's not there. And if she is, it'll be because Spike's hurt her. "Fine. We're wasting time, but fine." Hopefully Giles has called the others; they can keep looking elsewhere.

We run to the hospital at full speed, and arrive in record time. A nurse directs me to the right area, and I'm already moving before I can thank her. Mom's here, that means Spike must've hurt her.

I see him when I turn the corner. His bleach hair is hard to miss. I storm towards him, but someone gets in my way. Wait, what's Giles doing here?

"Buffy, you need to calm down," he tells me. "One of the nurses can explain. I'll call the others."

He walks calmly over to the phone. Kamon and Kiri pass me to sit next to Spike, who looks…upset. He glances up at me briefly, before he lets his head fall back into his hands. He's not trying to run from me. What's going on?

There's a nurse at the desk, and I walk over to her. "Hi, I'm here about Joyce Summers? I'm her daughter."

"Yes, they said you'll be coming." The nurse stands up, and there's sympathy in her eyes. "Your mother was brought in by a young man who insisted she was experiencing an aneurysm. I'm not sure how he managed to convince Dr. Kreigel, but she was rushed into surgery immediately. According to the last update I received, your mother did indeed have an aneurysm forming where her tumour was removed. Dr. Kreigel was able to act quickly and repair the damage. It's lucky she got here when she did, or else it would have killed her."

I feel the world slow to a stop around me. Mom had an aneurysm. Spike was right. Spike saved her.

I nearly stopped Spike from bringing her. I hadn't believed him. If I'd thrown him out…

"Do they…do they know what caused it?" I ask, my voice shaking.

"Dr. Kreigel said your mother had high blood pressure when she was brought in," the nurse explains. "There's a chance it put some strain on the soft tissue around your mother's scar, allowing the aneurysm to form. And high blood pressure can be caused by all sorts of things."

"…Like stress?"

"Yes."

She was stressed because she was yelling at me. Because I was acting out. If I hadn't yelled, this wouldn't have happened. And if I had stopped Spike, Mom would have died.

I almost killed Mom.

And Spike saved her.

"Thank you. Let…let me know if there's an update." I walk away from the desk. The room feels like it's spinning.

Mom nearly died because of me. Because of my behaviour.

The guilt overwhelms me like a tidal wave, and with it comes memories of how I've acted over the past few days. Yelling at everyone, running away, snapping, saying all those horrible things…

Kamon loves Kiri, and I called him a monster.

Spike saved Mom, and I insisted he has no feelings.

I can't look at them. I run into the bathroom, tears already streaming down my face. Kiri and Kamon came to help me, and I've treated them like crap. Same as Spike, who's been helping me for longer than I've let myself see.

"Buffy?"

I don't turn. I can't face her.

Kiri stands in front of me and pulls me into an embrace.

My sobs are loud and uncontrollable, and I let her comfort me as I cry my heart out.


	9. Chapter 9: Tough Love

'_Cause perfect didn't feel so perfect, _

_trying to fit a square into a circle…_

~ _Come Clean (Remix 2005) _by Hilary Duff

* * *

Whenever I cry long and hard, it feels like time is non-existent. I don't know how long I stay in the bathroom in Kiri's comforting embrace, one Slayer helping another. She remains silent the whole time, and doesn't speak until my eyes are dry and my tears are spent.

"I saw your mother dying in my dreams," she says. "I wanted to tell you, but I didn't know if there was a chance to save her. If you knew what was coming and couldn't save her… You wouldn't have known when the aneurysm would start to form. Kamon suggested that Spike should be there; being a vampire, he would be able to sense it happening and act. And Joyce trusts Spike more than she does Kamon."

Her words sink in. Her plan makes sense; I had no idea anything was wrong. I wouldn't have thought to count on Spike, but he did exactly what Kiri expected him to. The second he sensed something was wrong, he got Mom to the hospital. Even after I said all those horrible things to him, about him not having feelings, he still chose to save my mother's life.

If he didn't have feelings, he would have let Mom die. He wouldn't have cared. But he saved her instead, even gave himself a headache when I tried to stop him. Soulless monsters shouldn't be capable of an act like that.

But he did it.

And Kamon was the one who suggested the plan. He played a part in saving Mom as much as Spike did, and Kiri too. Realizing that just makes me feel worse.

"I'm sorry." I finally pull back and make sure she's looking right at me, so she can see I mean what I'm saying. "I'm so, so sorry."

She smiles. "Apologize later. Worry about your mother now."

I nod. "OK."

We leave the bathroom. The others are here; Willow, Tara, Xander and Anya. My two best friends from school are the first to hug me, and then their significant others take it in turns after. Kiri goes to sit beside her husband, who's sat next to Spike. The blonde vampire still has his head in his hands.

"Dawn is still at school," says Giles. "I thought it best if you were the one to collect her."

"Yeah." I nod. What am I gonna tell my baby sister? How do I explain to her that Mom nearly died, and it's all my fault?

* * *

Buffy leaves to get the Nibblet. Now that I can't feel her presence, I can let myself think.

I heard what the nurse said; the doctor managed to repair the artery before it burst and killed her. It's a bloody relief that I got her here on time. So many sodding delays…

Nearly crashed on the way here because no one would move their bloody car out the way. Then the sodding doctor wouldn't take me seriously without any noticeable symptoms. I had to vamp out in front of him to get him to listen. Always suspected the higher ups in this place know about vampires; they have to deal with too many bleeding neck injuries.

I explained that I could sense the aneurysm forming, and told him in no uncertain terms that if he didn't rush Joyce into surgery _right the bloody hell now_, I'd rip him limb from bloody limb. That got him moving.

I sigh. Just because the artery's been repaired, doesn't mean Joyce is out of the woods yet. What if she doesn't wake up from surgery? What if the doctor didn't fix it properly?

If she dies, Buffy will blame me. Doesn't matter that it was the stupid chit's fault for delaying me. I won't blame her, but she'll find a way to blame me. Something goes wrong in her life, blame Spike.

I feel a hand on my knee, and I look to my left. Kiri's leaning over her husband's lap, and she gives me a smile.

"She said she was sorry," she tells me. "She doesn't blame you; she blames herself."

Her few words speak a thousand more. Has the Slayer finally realized what we've all been trying to tell her?

Not that it matters now. Nearly losing Joyce isn't worth it.

Time crawls. Buffy returns with the Bit in tow, their eyes red from crying. The Scoobies embrace the youngest Summers girl, while the eldest looks my way. And in her gaze, I see what Kiri was implying; there's no hate or disgust. Instead there's regret, sorrow and grief. The Slayer is kicking herself for acting like a bitch.

She still sits away from me, but I suspect that's more to do with wanting to sit next to her sister. The Bit rests her head on the Slayer's shoulder, and they sit in silence. No one else can say a word.

I don't know how much more time passes, but eventually the doctor walks towards us. He avoids me (don't blame him), and goes straight to Buffy.

"Miss Summers? Your mother's in recovery."

* * *

Dr. Kreigel keeps talking, explaining about the aneurysm and how he was able to prevent it. He goes on to say something about what happens now, how to prevent something like this from happening again, but I can't focus on his words.

It's sinking in that Spike saved my mother; he did something he shouldn't be capable of, but I can't think that now. If he did it, then he's capable of it. My world's been turned on its axis, but my head is still spinning; everything's still fuzzy and unfocussed, and I need to make the final push by myself in order to clear the picture.

The puzzle pieces are there in front of me. I know that Spike, a soulless demon, saved my mother's life. I also know that Angelus would never have done that. He would have killed her himself – or worse, he would have watched her die and laughed.

And I know that if I'd stopped Spike from bringing Mom here, I would have been like Angelus. I would have killed her.

It's a hard pill to swallow, but I know now that like most pills, it'll make me better. This is a pill I need to take. If I don't, I might end up getting someone else killed, and there'll be no Spike around to save them.

Finally, Dr. Kreigel leads Dawn and I to the recovery room. Family only, he says. He doesn't want too many people in the room.

I gasp at the sight of Mom lying on the bed, still sleeping. She looks worse than she did after her first surgery; her skin is pale, and there's a bigger chunk of hair missing than there was before. But at least she's alive.

The doctor says something about her sleeping for a couple more hours at most, before he leaves us. As soon as he's out of the room, Dawn climbs onto the bed and curls up next to Mom, kicking her shoes off as she does.

"I heard what you said last night," she whispers, so quietly that I think I'm hearing things at first. Until she continues. "About wanting to pull Spike's invitation from the house. You're not gonna do it now, right? You can't."

"I won't," I assure her. "Last night… I wasn't thinking straight. So much has been going on, and a lot of things I thought I knew I've realized…probably aren't true. And I've been avoiding it all; I didn't want to confront any of it, and I've been snapping at anyone who tries to make me see reason."

"Yeah. You've been acting like a bee with an itch."

I roll my eyes affectionately. Even though Mom's unconscious, Dawn still won't swear when she's in the room. "I have. And I'm sorry."

"I'm not the one you need to say sorry to." Dawn closes her eyes, and she drifts off to sleep in no time at all.

I sit watching them in silence. We could have lost our mother today, and I would have been my fault. I can't help but repeat that fact over and over, using it like a wrecking ball to break down the walls I built in my mind. I can feel every brick falling away, and with each one that falls, I feel a little bit of tension leave me. Why didn't I destroy that wall before now?

The door opens, and I look up to see Spike slipping in. He looks past me and his gaze softens when it lands on Mom and Dawn. How could I have ignored his looks all this time?

"You holding out alright?"

"Yeah." I sigh. It's now or never. "Spike… I'm _so_ sorry. For everything. For what I said, for hitting you all the time… I was a bitch to you, and you _still_ saved my mom."

"Of course I did. She's a lovely lady who doesn't deserve to die. I…I didn't do it for you, if that's what your thinking. Did it for her. Did it…because saving her was the right thing to do. By that I mean… I'm not expecting anything in return, no credit or whatever it was I wanted the other night…"

Kiri's words from that same night come back to me. I shouldn't hold him to human standards. What he's saying is jumbled and messy, but I understand what he's trying to get across, and that's all that matters.

I reach out, take his hand and squeeze it. "Thank you."

He actually blushes (and am I allowed to think that's adorable?) and takes a seat beside me. "You can thank me when she gets out of this bleeding place," he says while running a hand through his hair, letting it curl. He should totally do that more often; it looks nice. "Haven't felt this caged since those bloody Nazis captured me and stuck me on a sub underwater."

"You got captured by Nazis?" Now _there's_ a story I wanna hear.

"They thought they could win the war by using demon power," he explains. "Couldn't control us. Me and the other vamps they captured broke out and massacred the lot of them." His eyes widen slightly. "I mean we…knocked them out and tied them up…"

"Don't sugar-coat the story. I know you've killed people," I tell him. "And they were Nazis, so I'm really not feeling all that sympathetic towards them."

He nods. "Right. So then, the Americans show up to commandeer the sub, and we end up killing a handful of them, too. But then Angel shows up and takes charge of the situation; some General sent him to bring the mission back under control."

Angel never told me about this. There's a lot of things about his life he never told me, now that I think about it. Like, ninety percent of his existence is still a mystery to me. "Was playing the hero even back then, huh?"

"Hardly." Spike scoffs. "Was pretty reluctant to be there, actually. Oh, and did he tell you he sired a boy on that sub?"

I go still, and it feels like my heart's stopped. "W…what?"

"Everyone was dead or dying. The sub was going down. Your ex-honey needed to get the sub back to the Americans, and this Sam bloke was the only one who could fix it and get it moving again. I suggested we just let the boy die in peace and let the information get destroyed, but Peaches wasn't having any of that. He sired the boy, shoved me into the bleeding ocean and delivered the sub before going back to his pit to brood for the next few decades. He didn't even stake the bloke afterwards; he just let him roam free. Can't even imagine how many people he's killed."

I can't believe it. I guess that answers why Angel never wanted to tell me his past – because he knew I wouldn't like it. Right after I found out he was a vampire, he told me he hadn't hurt anyone since getting cursed with his soul. So, what? Siring this guy doesn't count? No, he lied to me. He knew he'd never have me if he told me the truth, so he just told me what I wanted to hear.

I feel manipulated. Aren't couples in love supposed to know everything about each other? Aren't they supposed to trust each other with their darkest secrets?

"Pit to brood?" is all I can say.

Spike rolls his eyes. "Please, Slayer. You make the Poof out to be a sodding selfless hero who can do no wrong, and yet before you, he had no interest in saving the world. He was content to wallow in self-pity away from the rest of the world and the people who lived in it. The only reason he pulled himself out was because he saw you and decided he wanted to get in your pants. And at the young age you were…" He looks disgusted. "Just imagine a bloke like him seeing Dawn and deciding he wants to bang her. The fact that you were so young and so open to love as blindly as a bleeding bat just made things easier for him."

I look at Dawn and imagine Angel lusting after her…and the mental image I get is creepy as hell. I never realized just how…_wrong_ it was for Angel to feel things for me at my young age. And as for said young age making it easier for him… I can't help but feel _used_. First Riley being a TA, and now Angel hitting one me when I was underage? Were _any_ of my relationships healthy or morally sound?

I wish Spike would stop talking, but I can't bring myself to tell him that. Because he's right. And trying to ignore these things led to me acting like a bitch to everyone – and almost got my mother killed. The way I've been acting… It's not healthy, and I'm hurting not just myself, but everyone around me. I can't go on like this.

Kiri says I should let it go.

I focus on Angel, and I take off my blinders. I never knew him. I didn't know anything about him, and I still don't. So how could I have known what he felt for me? I loved him, and I was so caught up in all those wonderful feelings, that I assumed he loved me back. He acted like it.

But the truth is staring me in the face, and has been for a long time. I just haven't let myself see it. Kamon loves Kiri. Spike loved Drusilla, and now he loves me. He saved my mother's life because it was the right thing.

Vampires can love without their souls. They can choose to do good without their souls.

I let go.

The world doesn't end like I once feared it would. Actually, it looks brighter somehow. And I feel different. Free. A huge weight I never realized was there has been lifted off my shoulders, and it feels amazing.

"Feel better, luv?"

I wonder if Spike knows. He's perceptive enough. I nod all the same. "Yeah. I don't think I've felt this good in…a long time, actually." Have the mental scars left by Angel really been making me that miserable? Tara did say that my aura darkened whenever I thought about him…

No. I shouldn't think about him anymore. He's in my past, and the past is behind me. I'm over him.

Spike is smiling at me, and _wow_, has he always been this attractive? Yes he has, a dark corner of my brain replies. But I haven't let myself notice; I just saw him as an evil monster who needed to be killed. He was my enemy. I wasn't allowed to think thoughts like that.

But he's not my enemy anymore. That means I'm totally allowed to notice how attractive he is. His eyes are really blue and full of emotion, his cheekbones are so sharp I can probably cut my finger on them, and yeah, he really needs to let his hair curl more often, because it looks a lot better than when he slicks it back – though it looks pretty good like that, too. And OK, his accent can be pretty damn sexy sometimes, and the way he took care of Drusilla when she was sick was so adorable, and why did she leave him when he did nothing but dote on her all the time? If I had a guy like Spike, I'd hold on tight with both hands and never take him for granted…

I'm kissing him before I can think what I'm doing.

* * *

Bloody hell, she's kissing me.

I kiss her back, because it's _Buffy_. I can't help myself. I want to keep kissing her until the sun goes down, I want to lie her down and kiss her all over her beautiful body, I want to make love to her and give her everything she deserves and more…

My other senses pull me back. We're in the hospital, her mum almost died, and she and the Bit are asleep on the bed two feet away. Now's not the time.

She's kissing me because I saved Joyce. It's gratitude, nothing more. I can't take what she's giving me if she's only doing it because she feels she has to. We can't go any further unless I'm certain it's what she wants.

I stop kissing her and pull away, getting to my feet. Now that she's not distracted, she'll be able to think straight. "Buffy, pet, think. What is it you want?"

She blinks at me. At least she isn't acting like she did the _last_ time we kissed, spitting and wiping her mouth in disgust. I was too, but that's beside the point. "I…"

"Do you want me to leave?"

"No!" She leaps up out of her chair, then quickly lowers her voice upon remembering her sleeping family. "No, please don't leave. They all left me. You can't leave me, too."

They? Oh, she means Peaches and Captain Cardboard and what's-his-fucking-face who slept with her for one night and ditched her. I can see why she interpreted my words like that. "I'm not leaving town. I meant, do you want me to leave the room? Give you time to think clearly without me here."

"Oh." She frowns. "But I thought you wanted to…? Don't you want me anymore?"

Bloody hell, her ex-wankers have really made her feel this way? Like no one can love her? If either of them comes back, I'll beat the bloody crap out of them. And I don't care if the chip will try and stop me from hurting Cardboard; it'll be worth the headache. "Of course I still want you, Buffy. Just wanna make sure _you_ want _me_. I…I don't want you to feel like you have to give me a relationship just because I saved your mum."

A look of understanding crosses her face. "Oh. Yeah. I should probably…think about this. So much has happened…"

"Come find me when you know what you want." I leave before I'm tempted to kiss her again. And that temptation is strong, knowing she probably won't stop me.

I make my way back to the others, and they send me questioning looks. "They're fine. Joyce's blood smells right as rain again. Not much security here, so you lot can probably sneak in and see them two at a time."

"Can we go first?" Demon Girl speaks up, gripping her boy's hand tightly. "Xander looks like he wants to blame the wall."

I walk over to Kamon and Kiri. "Can I have a word, mate?" I ask the former.

He nods and turns to his wife. "Will you be OK?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine." They share a smile, and Kamon kisses the top of her head before he gets to his feet.

I lead him down the hall so no one can hear us. "Buffy kissed me," I tell him once we come to a stop. "I stopped her and told her she needs to think if this is what she really wants. I don't want her kissing me out of some kind of gratitude for saving her mum; that's not why I did it, and it wouldn't be fair to either one of us. Please tell me I did the right thing."

"You did," he assures me. "What you need to do now is wait. Don't push her to make her decision faster; either she'll close herself off and avoid you, or she'll jump into something she doesn't really want. Wait for her to make the next move."

He's right. I need to wait for her to take the next step. And if she chooses to give this a shot? Then it'll be worth the wait.

* * *

I tread lightly as Dawn and I help Mom through the front door. I'm glad that she was allowed to come home so soon, but part of me is waiting for the other shoe to drop. This is the second time now some stupid medical thing has threatened her life, and people always say third time's the charm. But it wouldn't be anything charming in my case.

She woke up yesterday when I wasn't in the room; I'd gone to the bathroom, and when I got back, she was talking to everyone else. Spike disappeared after she thanked him, and he let me know on the way out that he'd handle patrol. It was probably a good thing that he left.

I kissed him. I kissed Spike.

I don't even know how I feel about it, and my tangled thoughts prevented me from talking to Mom about what happened. Partially, anyway. I haven't wanted to apologize until I know she's OK; the last thing I wanna do is cause something else to go wrong. Dr. Kreigel said there wasn't a risk of it happening again in the same area, but there are risks of other things happening, and Mom will have to be on blood thinners for a while.

Dawn runs Mom's bag up to her room while Mom takes a seat on the couch. I stand on the living room threshold, and for a single moment the scene changes. Instead of Mom sat upright, healthy and fine, I see her lying down with her eyes wide open and unseeing, her skin pale from death. The image disappears and Mom is alive again, but the feeling it brought still lingers.

That could have happened. Mom could have died right in front of me, and I would have been helpless to save her.

A small, dark part of my brain whispers in Angelus's voice that if Spike hadn't been there, I would never have argued with Mom about him, she wouldn't have gotten stressed and the aneurysm wouldn't have formed. I push that thought away. I'm done thinking thoughts like that. Besides, Dr. Kreigel said that the stress and high blood pressure might not have caused it at all; it was just a theory.

And even if it did, I was bound to have that argument with Mom at some point. And if we'd argued and it had happened when Spike wasn't there…

"Buffy, are you alright?"

Her question makes me realize that I'm crying. I run and collapse to my knees in front of her, and then I'm embracing her, being careful not to hug her too tightly. "Mommy, I'm so sorry. I yelled at you for no reason and that made you stressed, and the nurse said that the high blood pressure might have caused the aneurysm, but even if it didn't I nearly killed you because I was trying to kick Spike out, and if I'd done that and he didn't get you to the hospital…" My words turn into broken sobs.

Mom pulls me closer and strokes my head. "Ssshhhh… Baby, don't blame yourself. I forgive you. Our lives are too short to feel guilty over what might have been. All that matters is I'm here. But if you need to apologize to someone, it's not me who needs to hear it."

I pull away and wipe away my tears. "I already apologized to Spike." And kissed him. I totally kissed him, and I don't know what to do. "But I need to apologize to Kiri and Kamon. I was horrible to them, too, not just Spike."

"Then go. The sun's setting. You can go and see them before you patrol. Dawn and I will be fine here."

"I'll call Giles and get him to stop by, just in case." I don't wanna leave Mom so soon after her brush with death, but I can't hover over her forever. And I really need to see Kiri and Kamon; I've put it off long enough already.

I quickly change into more patrol-appropriate clothes and head out, walking towards the motel where they're staying. It occurs to me that as well as apologizing to them, I can ask them about what I should do with Spike.

I kissed him. But instead of jumping on me and pestering me about it like I expected him to, he's taken a step back and wants me to be sure about getting involved with him. He says I need to be sure if it's him I want; he doesn't want me to feel like I owe him a relationship as thanks for saving my mother.

The truth is, I really don't know how I feel about him. I have warm fuzzies, but I don't know if that's because I'm grateful he saved my mom's life, or if it's because I might have actual feelings for him. Do I? I think he's attractive, both physically and in the way he doted on and cared for Drusilla, and being on the receiving end of that kind of love is really tempting…

And the kiss was…actually pretty damn good. I didn't feel like I wanted to die like I did when I kissed Angel. It wasn't underwhelmingly nice like it was with Riley. I can't even describe how good it felt. So good that it managed to fry my brain for a bit, long enough that I didn't understand what he was trying to say after he broke it.

But there are…factors. Important things I need to consider. Him being soulless isn't a problem anymore, but there's the fact that he's killed a lot of people before now, including two Slayers. Can I really see past that? And there's also the fact that we've been mortal enemies for years now. That's a lot of mutual hate to forget about and move past. I'm not sure how I feel about dating someone who used to want me dead.

All reasonable points I can bring up with Kiri and Kamon. Because who better to ask than a vampire and Slayer married couple?

I arrive at the motel, find their room and knock. Kiri answers, a towel wrapped around her. "Hi Buffy. I thought you were bringing your mother home today?"

"She's home, safe and sound," I say. "I actually wanted to talk to you guys about something."

"I was just about to jump in the shower, but sure, come in." She steps aside and lets me pass. The room is small and simple, but it's a lot cleaner than the one Faith used to live in. And these two are probably used to it, having been on the run for years.

Light from the setting sun filters in through the curtains, some of it hitting Kamon. He's standing by the bed, having removed his leather armour but not his trousers, and _wow_, Kiri is one lucky Slayer. Now that I don't think he's a soulless monster, I can admit he's hot, too – but in a totally different way to Spike. It's definitely attraction with Spike. There's no attraction to Kamon, but I'm totally allowed to have eyes.

I force my gaze away from him, but not soon enough. He definitely noticed me noticing his bare chest, and he's smirking.

"Sorry," I say.

"I'll be out in a minute." Kiri walks into the bathroom. "And Buffy, if you try and seduce my husband, I'll kick your butt." She closes the door behind her.

"I'm not a homewrecker," I quickly tell him. "I'm interested in someone else."

Kamon slides his leather armour over his head. "I think I can guess who."

"Yeah," I say. "But first, I just wanna say… I'm really, really sorry for the way I behaved. For saying all those horrible things about you, calling you names, attacking you… I was a really crappy person, and I hope we can be friends."

He links his hands behind his back and nods. "I forgive you. Out of all the Slayers I have met besides my wife, you were the only one who didn't attack me on sight. That counts for something. Let's put our grievances behind us, and instead, why don't you tell me about this 'someone else' you're interested in?" He gestures for me to speak.

"Honestly, I don't know if I'm interested or if it's just…" I sigh. "OK, I'll start from the beginning. I kissed Spike. It felt really good, and I feel…something towards him. But I don't know if I'm just feeling gratitude because he saved my mother, or if it's something more than that. Spike's backed off and he wants me to be the one to make the decision, but I don't know if I should take the leap. Getting another vamp's opinion would be very much of the good right now. Is Spike worth it?"

"Only you can answer that," he says. Which isn't very helpful. "But if you want my opinion on him… He has his flaws. He's impatient and a lot of the time he doesn't look before he leaps. He doesn't think his plans through, and makes a lot of stupid decisions because of this."

"Oh, I knew all that already." I roll my eyes, but it's an affectionate eye-roll.

"But Spike has a good heart," Kamon continues. "He'll do anything for the people he cares for. I think, had he not fallen in with Angelus and his ilk, had he been given a choice and a chance to prove it, he could have turned out like me."

I find myself believing him. I've seen glimpses in Spike's eyes and actions; despite what he said to me that night in the Bronze all those months ago, I think the human William was a good man. And Angel once told me that while Drusilla was the one who turned Spike, it was Angelus who made him into the vamp he is today. It's one of the few things Angel's said that I can one hundred percent believe.

If Angelus hadn't been around, could Spike have turned out differently? If maybe Kamon had found him and taken him under his wing? I'm leaning towards 'yes'.

"So, you're saying I should take the leap?"

"No." He shakes his head. "It's your choice, and I'm telling you unbiased what I know so you can make a decision with all the facts."

Phooey. I was hoping he'd tell me what to do. Maybe I should go and ask my friends, but they're pretty biased against Spike. Or maybe not, since they were all against me when I tried to reject Spike's application into the Scoobie gang. But maybe they're just OK with him being member, and won't be OK with me dating him. And I'm mostly just thinking of the reactions of Willow, Xander and Giles, because I can't imagine Tara being biased against anyone, and Anya would just skip the question about whether or not I should date him and give me sex advice, instead.

Kiri comes out of the bathroom, dressed and ready for patrol. Maybe she'll give me a straight answer. But she always seems to be on the same page as her husband, so maybe not.

"Ready to go?" I don't know is she's talking to me or Kamon.

"I'm going with Spike. You and Buffy can head out together," says Kamon. He crosses the room and leans in to kiss her.

"Wait." She pulls back and lifts his scarf up to cover his neck. "I know you don't care about burns, but I do." They kiss, and I turn around to give them privacy.

When they're done, Kiri and I head out. It's dark by the time we reach the first cemetery, and that's when I finally start talking.

"I'm sorry. I'm really, _really_ sorry. You came to help me, and in return, I treated you both like crap. I should have listened to what you were saying."

"We all make mistakes," she says. "After my Watcher shot me, I shut down my emotions mostly because it's what I'd been taught to do, but also because I thought it would make the pain go away. Kamon quickly convinced me that I was only making the pain worse. Sometimes people do the opposite of what they should when they've been hurt, and it's a very human response."

"Have you noticed people say that about stupid decisions?"

She chuckles. "It's true. And especially when the heart's involved. I only wish my dreams had directed me here sooner, then maybe I could have spared you that pain."

"Maybe." Would sixteen-year-old me have listened to Kiri, the Slayer married to a vampire? There were times when I was self-righteous and thought I knew better than the people around me, and I really didn't react well to sharing the limelight with another Slayer. I snapped so many times whenever Kendra kept insisting that being with Angel was a bad idea… Guess my love for him blinded me even before he turned into Angelus.

But that was back when I knew threatening Drusilla would get Spike to back down. Seeing how much Kamon loves Kiri could've given me more questions about Angel's soul, and maybe even our love in general. Seeing what love really looks like may have made me notice just how lacking things were between Angel and I, especially in terms of how well I really knew him.

"I guess we can't dwell on what might have been," says Kiri.

"Mom said that, too." I let out a breath. "I asked Kamon this, and he was a little helpful, but not in terms of what I should do about it, but… I kissed Spike in the hospital, it felt really good, but I don't know if I have actual feelings for him or if this warm fuzzy feeling I have is just gratitude because he saved my mother's life. Spike said he doesn't want to start anything with me unless I'm certain it's what I want, but I don't _know_ what I want. I mean, the idea of having…something with him isn't as scary as I thought it would be, and I'm definitely attracted to him. But I have…reservations, I guess you could say. And since you're a Slayer married to a vampire, I thought you could help unjumble the mess in my brain?"

"OK, let's just take a breath." We do. "Now. What worries you the most?"

Where do I start? "Well, there's part of me that worries about him leaving me. Every guy I've been involved with has left me for one reason or another. But that's just my Buffy Baggage; I can easily talk to my mom about that. One thing that concerns me is Spike's past. He's been killing innocent people for over a century. I guess you didn't have to deal with that because Kamon never did any of that stuff, so accepting him was easier for you. But will I be insulting their memories by accepting Spike?"

"Have you not already made peace with past sins?" asks Kiri. "You did with Angel. He killed people, and you accepted him."

My automatic response would've been 'but he has a soul', only my words die on my lips when I realize that doesn't matter anymore. And take the soul out of the equation, Spike and Angel are the same; two vampires who have killed a lot of people, but don't anymore because they'd changed for one reason or another. Why should I give one a pass but not the other?

"God, I'm an idiot," I say. If I could accept Angel's baggage, I can accept Spike's. The shadow hovering over my head passes.

"Some things take longer to let go of than others," Kiri assures me. "Anything else that worries you?"

"Just the part about us being former mortal enemies and trying to kill each other too many times to count," I say. "But after that last point got debunked, I'm using my brain and realizing it's not uncommon around here. Anya was our enemy, and she and Xander have made it work. Actually, it's happened with Xander twice. Back in high school there was this alpha bitch by the name of Cordelia Chase; she was the high school equivalent of an enemy for my friends and I. But she and Xander dated for a time."

Which means Xander totally doesn't have a leg to stand on if he doesn't want me dating Spike. _Two former enemies and one former demon, doo-dah, doo-dah_.

"It feels like you're just making excuses for why you shouldn't try something with him," says Kiri. "And if you really didn't want to, you shouldn't need an excuse to say 'no'."

"Are you insinuating that I want to?"

"No. It's your choice whether or not you give Spike a chance, and you shouldn't let anyone else tell you what to do, or influence your decision. And you definitely shouldn't base your decision on what other people would think of you."

I don't want her to be right, but she is. "Making decisions is hard. And I'm still scared that he could leave me like everyone else has. It took me forever to get over Angel leaving me for that "greater good" nonsense."

"I've been hanging with Spike for most of the time I've been here," she tells me. "He definitely doesn't strike me as someone who'll leave if things get a little hard. He's too stubborn for that. And think of it this way: Spike doesn't have a soul, so he won't be motivated to leave you for the greater good."

Now _that's_ a very tempting thought.

We've left the cemetery and are walking through the streets, heading for the next one. I think I hear something around the next corner, but my Slayer senses don't tingle, so maybe it's just a stray cat.

I want to eat my words (and can I still eat my words if I didn't say them out loud?) when we turn the corner and some guy jumps out and grabs me. In my struggle to fight him, I feel chainmail covering his arms. What's with the Round Table Reject? I didn't realize there was a Renaissance Fair in town.

Kiri punches him in the face, and he loosens his grip long enough for me to break free. I turn and backhand him, sending him into some crates which break on impact. Two more guys jump down either side of him and help him to his feet; they're wearing chainmail as well, and all three of their faces are covered by plain black masks.

And they all have swords, completing their medieval knight look.

"What do these guys want?" I ask.

"They're not demons," says Kiri. "Humans."

That first guy was pretty strong for a human. "Hey, guys! If you're looking to pick a fight, I _really_ wouldn't. We're tougher than we look."

They don't reply and start advancing on us.

"I have a feeling they know what we are," says Kiri.

Great. This should be fun, as in _not_. One takes a swing at me and I duck before kicking him in the stomach, sending him backwards. Kiri avoids another swing from the second guy, spins in a circle and uses her momentum to knock the sword out of the third guy's hand with a well-placed kick. She then kicks him into the second guy, and they fall over each other.

The first guy comes at me again, and I copy Kiri's move; I duck to avoid his swing, spin and kick out, knocking the sword out of his hand. He aims low and tries to ram into me, but I flip over him and he ends up running into the wall. He falls over, dazed, letting me focus on the second guy coming at me with his sword. I pick up the first guy's sword and block his attack, before kicking him in the knee. He goes down, and I kick his sword away before punching him in the face. He doesn't get back up, so he must be unconscious.

Kiri punches the third guy in the head, three times, before flipping him into a dumpster. She retrieves the third guy's sword, and the two of us stand together against the first guy, who's managed to pick himself up while grabbing the remaining sword. I'll hand it to this guy that he's brave to try and take us both at once, but he doesn't stand a chance. Kiri blocks his sword with hers and I aim my kick high, hitting his face. He drops his sword and falls to the ground.

I toss my sword to Kiri, and she holds them both in a cross around the guy's neck, preventing him from getting up.

"OK. Let's see who you are." I pull away his mask, and yep, he's human. "Hi, Lancelot. Mind telling me why you're here in my town, attacking me and my friend?"

"I am one soldier in a vast army." He speaks like he's reciting a prose from two millenniums ago. "The Knights of Byzantium are an ancient order, and now we are your enemy."

Oh great. I get rid of one Big Bad and find myself with another right away. Bad guys usually wait until after summer vacation before announcing themselves. Unless they're connected…

"Are you in league with Glory?" Kiri asks. Guess she was thinking the same thing.

He doesn't look pleased by that. "You think we align ourselves with the Beast? You must be mad."

"You're the one's trying to kill us," I point out. "Glory was our enemy, too. Why try and kill us if we're on the same side?"

"Our enemy may be the same, but how we fight her puts us at odds with one another," he says. "So as long as you protect the Key, the brotherhood will never stop until we destroy it, and you. You are the Slayer, and we know what we must do. If it takes a hundred men, we send a hundred men. And if it takes a thousand, then we send a thousand."

The Key. They want to destroy the Key. They want to kill Dawn.

Kiri looks worried, too. "Listen, Sir…Lancelot, or whatever your name is… There's something you should know about Glory-"

"Now be done with it. Kill us, and let legions follow."

Does this guy ever shut up? He's worse than Spike at running his mouth off. "Look, I don't know where you get your information from, but Glory's dead. We killed her. She's gone, so you don't need to destroy the Key."

He frowns. "The Beast is dead? This cannot be! We would know if this was true."

"It's true. We burnt the body and everything." I nod at Kiri.

She removes the swords from around his neck and we step back, letting the guy get to his feet. The other two guys have already come around; the second is helping the third out of the dumpster Kiri threw him into.

"You should go back to where you came from and verify for yourself," says Kiri. "We give you our word as Slayers, protectors of this world, that Glory is dead. Now leave."

The guy looks unsure, but he does as he'd told and leaves, taking his comrades with him. I don't let myself relax my guard until they're out of sight.

I pick up the remaining sword on the ground. "Do you think Spike will like one of these?"

"We can take it to him now," Kiri suggests. "I want to tell Kamon what's happened here. He's been around for five hundred years; he might know who these Knights are."

"Then after that, we can go to Giles and tell him, too," I say, before we head off into the night.


	10. Chapter 10: The Weight of the World

_You show the lights that stop me turn to stone, _

_you shine them when I'm alone…_

~ _Lights_ by Ellie Goulding

* * *

It feels different, but the nice sort of different, to spend time with a vampire bloke who's not Angelus.

"Not the hair," Kamon snarls, after a fledge pulls on his bun. He lets it down as he removes his staff, resizing the weapon in seconds. "_Never_ the hair!"

Alright, they have the same vain protectiveness over their hair, but thank god it's the only bloody thing they have in common. And at least Kamon lets his wife touch his – Peaches never let _anyone_ touch his hair, not even Buffy.

Buffy. I'm still waiting to hear from her; still hoping she wants to give us a shot. I've been fighting the urge to go see her, reminding myself that it'll only drive her further away. I wonder if it still counts if I go and see Joyce, and just so happen to see Buffy while I'm there? If I don't mention the kiss or anything of the kind, it won't hurt, right?

Bloody hell, Dru was so much easier to court. All I had to do was tie her up and torture her, and she'd be all over me. But then all the while, I forced myself to forget that to keep her focus on me, I had to act like Angelus. Perhaps with Buffy, I can be more like myself.

"I think he got the message," I drawl as I watch Kamon beat the fledge into oblivion. I lean against a headstone and whip out a cigarette. "Don't touch the bleeding hair."

Kamon halts his relentless attack and sends me a frown. "Are you implying there's something wrong with my hair?"

"Nothing wrong with it." I light up and take a puff. "Nothing to crow about, either."

He grabs the fledge by the throat and lifts him off the ground. "Have you _seen_ your hair?"

"We're wasting time. Stake that sorry excuse for a vamp and let's go."

The fledge turns to dust at the end of Kamon's staff. He sends me a smirk, and I roll my eyes. Yeah, I shouldn't be one to point fingers with hair like mine. Never gonna admit that, though.

We finish our patrol and head back to my crypt.

"Has Buffy spoken to you yet?" he asks.

"No." I sigh. "I'll be honest, mate. I don't know how much longer I can wait. What if she can't make a decision because she's overthinking it?"

He actually looks heavenward. Don't understand why. I'm not _that_ annoying. "Look at things from her point of view. Her entire worldview has been turned on its head in a short amount of time. And she almost lost her mother. Jumping straight into a relationship at this time wouldn't be the best idea. Maybe she's waiting until things calm down before she makes a decision."

I sigh again. When he puts it like that… "You got a point there. She's got enough on her sodding plate without adding me to the mix."

We enter my crypt together, but the second I walk inside, I realize we're not alone. There's a familiar scent lingering everywhere, and I can feel someone hiding in the shadows. Kamon is instantly alert, holding his staff ready for a fight. I leave the door open in case we need to make a quick getaway, and I step forwards.

"Who's there?"

"A happy memory, pretty Spike." The voice is familiar, and once would have filled me with joy. But now it only fills me with dread.

There's movement in the shadows, and then Drusilla steps out, her eyes filled with a dark promise to grab me by the hand and drag me back into the dark. She's wearing a dark dress to match, and in her hand is a rose that's seen better days. She rubs the flower along her cheek and pulls it down to her chest, and there's no misinterpreting her intentions. She's here for me.

"Dru?"

She smiles. "Look who's come to make everything right again."

Right? More like bollocks everything up for me. Buffy has enough going on in her life, and she doesn't need the threat of my sire making things worse for her. I'll have to deal with her myself. Buffy never has to know she was even here.

"Is this your sire?" Kamon whispers to me.

Before I can confirm, Drusilla laughs. "Oh hello, mischievous little monkey." She sways towards us. "You walk the line between worlds, forever in twilight. Fighting in the dark, while she pulls you towards the light. Your little monk boy, who is not a monk nor a boy."

Kamon points his staff at her, and Drusilla stops walking. "That's far enough."

"What are you doing here, Dru?" I ask. "Can't imagine you'd come all the way from Brazil just for me, considering you kicked me to the bloody curb last we saw each other."

She smiles at me. "Hope, my Spike. Hope brought me here. Hope that our family can be made whole once more. Dark men in suits have been busy. The Wolf, the Ram and the Hart have been playing, and they brought back Grand-mummy."

My eyebrows rise. "Darla?" Who the fuck would wanna bring back that old cow?

"Yes." She nods. "But they brought her back wrong. She had a nasty spark in her, and a sickness from long ago. I came and found the Wolf, the Ram and the Hart, and I told them I could make her better again. Now Grand-mummy is a child of mine. But Daddy didn't approve. He still has his nasty spark. Grand-mummy and I have been trying to make it go away, but we need help. We need a dark prince to save us."

"Um…" Kamon leans towards me. "Did you get any of that?"

"I've had over a century practise, mate." And even then, some of Dru's babble can go right over my head. But this makes sense. "Darla got mojoed back from the beyond, Dru vamped her, and now the two of them are working on turning Angel back into his old bad self again. Sounds like fun." My last few words drip with sarcasm.

Dru misses that, of course. She nods with a huge grin on her face. "It is. Like lollipops at the circus. Although…" She strokes her chest, and I notice for the first time there's a scar there from a burn. There's one on her neck, too. "Didn't care for Angelus setting us on fire."

Not very long ago, the thought of Angel setting Drusilla on fire would've sent me straight to LA in a rage, willing and ready to give the big lug a piece of my mind. Now, I wish he'd finished the job. Then Drusilla wouldn't be here now, threatening to ruin everything.

"So this has, what, gotten you all nostalgic for the old days?" I ask.

She nods again. "I want us to be a family again, my William."

I wince at her use of my real name. Then I scoff. We weren't much of a family. We stuck together, sure, but I was at the bottom and they never went a day without reminding me of that fact. Mostly Angelus and Darla, but on occasion Drusilla would join in the "fun", too. If the Slayer thinks she invented the game "Kick the Spike", then she's sorely mistaken. Angelus perfected that game and made it into an artform.

I can't believe I was ever proud to have Angelus as my mentor. Drusilla may have made me a vampire, but it was Angelus who turned me into a monster. And I don't wanna be like that anymore. Not now, not ever.

Kamon stays by my side, ready to attack as soon as I give the word. He's shown me that I can be a vamp _and_ be someone Buffy can be proud of. I've made a better life, and I won't go back to the Whirlwind for anything.

"I don't." I need to send her away. Maybe if I can convince her to leave without needing to fight her or stake her… Know she's a threat, but she's still my sire. Part of me still loves her, always will, for turning me. "I've done the whole LA scene, Dru. Didn't agree with me. Besides, I've got a pretty sweet little set-up right here in Sunny D. I've got myself a best mate," I pat Kamon on the shoulder and ignore the confused look he sends me, "not to mention all the tasty townies I can eat."

She shushes me, pressing a finger gently against her lips. "You needn't make up stories. I already know why you're not coming."

Oh yeah. She has the sight. Well, it was worth a shot. "If you're gonna give me bloody crap for this, Dru, just remember it's _your_ sodding fault. If you hadn't refused to take me back, I wouldn't-"

"Poor boy. Little tin soldiers put funny knick-knacks in your brain."

The chip. She's talking about the chip, not Buffy. I hide my relief. Maybe she doesn't know I'm mad for the Slayer… "So you've heard."

"You've got a chip." She hits the side of her head and twitches in mock pain, imitating the bloody thing. "Can't hunt, can't hurt, can't kill. But I don't believe in science. I trust in eyes and heart alone. And do you know what mine is singing out? You're a killer. No little tinker toy could ever stop you from flying."

She's closer, reaching out a hand towards me. Kamon twitches beside me; he's getting impatient. And he rails on me for _my_ impatience?

But I get what he's trying to tell me. Drusilla's dangerous.

I hit her hand away. "You're wrong. I became what you wanted to make you happy, to compete with your precious _Daddy_. But that's not me, Dru. I don't think it ever was." She'd changed me back then, after my turning. Now I'm changing again, becoming someone not only Buffy can be proud of, but someone _I_ can be proud of. It's been a bleeding long time since I was proud of myself.

Very subtly, I tilt my head towards Kamon, then tilt it towards the back of the crypt. He understands what I mean immediately; Drusilla can easily escape into the lower level and into the sewers. He moves slowly around us, intending to block her escape, while I remain in front of the door.

Drusilla shakes her head. "Those ugly words are not your own, my Spike. They belong to someone else. They are the sunshine's words. She's laughing louder, drowning me out."

Sunshine. Laughing. She's spoken those words before, after we left Sunnydale the first time. I found her with the Chaos demon, and she kept insisting I was still thinking about the Slayer.

Oh bollocks, she knows.

"You were right, Dru," I say, because there's no use hiding it, now. "I didn't see it then, but you did. And now I do, too. I'm in love with the Slayer."

She giggles. Bloody hell, I could do without the laugh track, Dru.

"Pixies in my head whispered it to me," she says.

"Then you know you shouldn't have come," I tell her. "You know I can't leave her. And I can't let you leave, either."

There's no other way. She'll go after Buffy, if she thinks that'll be what it takes to get me back. And even if she doesn't, she'll only kill more people. I can't even imagine how Buffy will look at me if she learns I let Drusilla go.

I don't think I can stake her, but Kamon can. I'm willing to let him do it.

She howls and vamps out. "I see your thoughts, my darling boy. Always one for matricide."

Mum's face flashes before my mind. I screw my eyes shut and will it away, and suddenly I'm pushed aside. Dru sends me to the floor as she flees out the door. Bloody hell, the cunning bint knew exactly what she was doing.

Kamon hurries over to me, but he doesn't get the chance to say anything. His head snaps up, and I quickly sense what he has. Slayer. Make that two.

Dread fills me.

Buffy's outside, and Dru's heading right for her.

* * *

Spike's crypt is in view when Kiri holds her arm out to stop me. "Wait. Do you sense that?"

I expand my Slayer senses, but there aren't any vamps in the area apart from the ones in Spike's crypt. But then I count the signatures, and realize what's got her on edge. There are three vamps inside, all of them old and powerful. Two are Spike and Kamon, obviously. But the third…

We creep closer, and I hear a familiar voice.

"Poor boy. Little tin soldiers put funny knick-knacks in your brain."

Drusilla. My eyes widen.

"You know her?" Kiri whispers to me.

I nod. "Spike's sire, Drusilla. Crazy bitch."

"He told us about her," says Kiri. "Didn't think she'd be back for him."

"Neither did I." The thought of Spike leaving with her is a lot more painful than I thought it would be.

Maybe he's tired of waiting for me to make my decision? Maybe the Buffy curse that makes guys flee from me has struck early, and it's gonna send Spike for the hills before I've even decided whether or not to date him.

"So you've heard." Spike's voice is even, and doesn't give anything away. That doesn't help me at all.

Drusilla speaks again. "You've got a chip. Can't hunt, can't hurt, can't kill. But I don't believe in science. I trust in eyes and heart alone. And do you know what mine is singing out? You're a killer. No little tinker toy could ever stop you from flying."

I'm not one for translating crazy, but even I can interpret what she's trying to say; she'll kill for him, a work-around so he doesn't have to experience the pain of the chip firing when he feeds. That temptation, and the temptation of returning to his former lover, has gotta be strong.

Something nags at the back of my brain, and instead of ignoring it like I used to, I focus on it. Spike could have done this before, my brain tells me. Instead of sticking with me and my friends, he could've gotten himself a bunch of minions and convinced them to bring him dead bodies every night. He wouldn't have done that at first, since he'd thought he couldn't hurt anything, but after discovering he could hurt demons… How did that not occur to me before?

Because I hadn't wanted to see. Wow, I've been blind to a lot of stuff like that.

He wanted to stick with us. Even when he kept insisting he was the Big Bad and was going to kill us all when he got the chip out, a small part of him must have wanted to change. There's no other explanation.

With that being said… Not finding himself minions is one thing. Refusing Drusilla is another. She made him; he loved her. I'd be hurt if he chose her, but I wouldn't be surprised.

I hear something that must be a slap. "You're wrong. I became what you wanted to make you happy, to compete with your precious _Daddy_. But that's not me, Dru. I don't think it ever was."

Joy surges through my body unexpectedly. He's turning her down. Maybe he won't ever leave me, after all…

"Those ugly words are not your own, my Spike," Drusilla spits at him. She's pissed that he won't go with her? Dumb bitch shouldn't have given him up in the first place. "They belong to someone else. They are the sunshine's words. She's laughing louder, drowning me out."

"You were right, Dru. I didn't see it then, but you did. And now I do, too. I'm in love with the Slayer."

Drusilla laughs. "Pixies in my head whispered it to me."

Wait, how long has Spike been in love with me? Have they talked about this before? But the last time they saw each other was in South America…

"Then you know you shouldn't have come. You know I can't leave her. And I can't let you leave, either."

I quickly realize what he means. He's going to kill her. He's going to stake his own sire.

Drusilla howls in sorrow. "I see your thoughts, my darling boy. Always one for matricide."

Matricide?

I don't have time to figure out what that means. Drusilla's running towards us, and I have to stop her. I can't let her escape.

Dropping the knight's sword, I leap and tackle her to the ground. She hisses and struggles against me, and next thing I know, she's slashing her long fingernails at my head. I remember Kendra's lifeless body on the floor of the library, and I leap away from the enraged vampire. But not before she cuts my forehead.

There's a roar behind me, and then Spike is leaping around me and barrelling into Drusilla. He keeps himself between me and his sire, and reaches towards me with one hand.

I know what he's asking for. I go to remove the stake from my back pocket, but I come up short. It must've fallen out during my skirmish with Drusilla. The sword is out of reach, as well.

Drusilla manages to break out of Spike's grip and runs. Kiri attempts to stop her, dual swords swinging towards the vampire's head. But Drusilla grabs both swords with her bare hands (ouch, that must hurt) and twists them out of Kiri's grip. She then slashes her long nails at my sister Slayer, but Kiri manages to block the attack with her left arm. The vampire doesn't stay to finish the job, and instead disappears into the night.

Kamon hurries over to us, but instead of going after Drusilla, he runs straight to Kiri. She's collapsed to the ground, holding her injured arm. Her jumper sleeve is in tatters and stained with blood, but at least she didn't get slashed in the neck.

I bring my hand up to my own wound; it's only a single line, and it'll be gone by the morning.

Spike kneels by my side. "You alright, pet?"

He's looking me in the eyes, his gaze not even flickering towards the cut and the blood coming out of it. I'm bleeding, and he's not even tempted to sample me.

A feeling of safety washes over me, one I've never felt with any other guy – not even Angel. I actually tried my hardest not to bleed around him, because the look he gave me whenever I did always made me uncomfortable and afraid. And why am I only realizing now that me being afraid of him at times was one big relationship red flag?

"I'm fine," I say, as he helps me to my feet. I look over at where Kamon is cradling Kiri in his lap, looking over her injury. He doesn't look tempted, either. "We should get Kiri inside, or we'll start attracting the wrong kind of attention."

* * *

I bloody well don't need to rely on Kamon to do the job for me. If I ever see Dru again, I'll kill her myself.

She hurt Buffy. It's only a cut, but it could have been worse. Before she broke up with me, Drusilla described how she'd killed that other Slayer. She'd held her in place with her thrall, left her defenceless, then slashed her neck open. The thrall remained as she died, preventing the Slayer from trying to stop the bleeding. At the time, I'd been happy to get Dru back and proud of her for bagging a Slayer of her own. But deep down I'd been angry that the Slayer had died without fighting back, helpless to defend herself. That's not how a Slayer should go out.

Now I can let myself feel angry and disgusted by the act. And there's fear there too, because she almost used the same method to kill Buffy, just without the thrall. She'd been even closer to killing Kiri; had the older Slayer not blocked the attack with her arm, Dru would've cut her throat open. I might not need Kamon to kill my sire for me, but there's a very good chance he'll get to her first.

"Do you think Drusilla will try again?" Buffy asks. She's finished cleaning her scratch and is tossing her bloody tissues in the bin. It's stopped bleeding, and looks like it'll heal by tomorrow morning.

Kiri's injury will need a bit longer than that to disappear. Her shredded jumper is lying on the floor of the crypt, and Kamon is tending to her arm. It's stopped bleeding, and he's in the process of wrapping a bandage around it, holding his lady's arm like it's the most delicate thing in the world.

I hadn't dared help Buffy with her wound. Didn't want to push my luck.

"Don't know," I tell Buffy in reply. "Hard to tell what Dru's thinking. She might if she's desperate enough. Or she'll go back to Darla, and either the old cow will come for you to mess with Peaches, or she'll keep trying to revert Angel back into Angelus and come here after that."

Buffy shudders at the thought of Angelus returning. "I get why he didn't tell me. His city, his problem. But Dru's in my town, and that makes her _my_ problem now. Same if she brings Darla here. _God_, I really don't need this right now."

"It's more likely the cow will wanna wait 'til she can get Angelus back," I say. "Darla's not the one to worry about. It's Dru. Either she'll go back to Grand-mum and keep helping her, or she'll stay and continue trying to get me back on her side. You'd think, being the one that made me, she'd know by now she can't make me do anything I don't wanna do."

"Yeah." Buffy actually smirks. "You're _way_ to stubborn for your own good."

I smirk back. Even if she doesn't agree to give us a shot, looks like we can still be friends. And I'll take whatever I can get.

"Drusilla isn't our only problem," Kiri speaks up. She nods towards the three swords lying on the crypt floor. I'd been wondering where the Slayers had gotten those from. "Three men attacked us in one of the back alleys. They were human, dressed like medieval knights; spoke and acted like them, too."

"We questioned one," Buffy continues. "They're enemies of Glory, but their idea of defeating her is destroying the Key. And instead of doing the _smart_ thing and talking to us to figure out some kind of alliance, they just wanna kill us for not agreeing with them. We told them Glory is dead, but I'm not sure if they believed us. They didn't look like the kind of guys who think the pen is mightier than the sword."

"Did they have names?" asks Kamon.

Kiri nods. "The Knights of Byzantium. Have you ever heard of them?"

"No." He shakes his head. "If there's one thing I've learnt on my travels, it's that I could live for thousands of years and still not know everything. There are many secrets out there, and I imagine that includes secret orders."

"Well, this 'secret order' is big enough to have a thousand men," Buffy says. "Unless he was bragging about that, but he didn't look like the kind of guy who would. These Knights sound dangerous, either way."

There's a simple solution here, but it sounds _so_ simple there has to be a good reason why Buffy hasn't considered it herself. "Blame my ignorance of the situation if this offends you, but is there a reason you can't just let them destroy the Key?"

It looks like the Slayer's about to bite my bloody head off, but holds her tongue and calms herself with a deep breath. "Ignorance. Right, sorry. You don't know. And if these Round Table Rejects didn't listen to me about Glory being dead and come for us again, then it's better if you guys know. I should probably tell my friends, too…" She sighs. "Dawn is the Key."

I blink. "Nibblet? How?"

"These monk guys used this powerful spell to change the Key's form and made it human," she explains. "Then they sent it to me in the form of a sister. They altered our memories so we remember her always being there, but she wasn't. She's only been here since…last August, I think? Around five or six months."

And that's a bloody big pill to swallow, that there's someone out there powerful enough to not only alter energy and create new life out of it, but also alter memories on that grand a scale. I can remember the first time I saw the Bit, hiding on the stairs while I was sat in the living room with Joyce, waiting to make a truce with the Slayer. The memory feels real, and it's hard to believe it's fake.

"Buffy…" Kiri looks hesitant. "Kamon and I already knew. I saw it in my dreams."

"Oh." She doesn't look annoyed. Just shrugs it off. "Giles knows and so does Mom, but I was hoping I wouldn't have to tell anyone else now that Glory's dead. With these Knights on the loose, though, I'll have to. Except for Dawn."

My eyebrows rise. "She should've been the _first_ person you told. Keeping this a secret from her, especially if it concerns her, will only hurt her in the end."

"And what am I supposed to tell her? 'Hey Dawn! Guess what? You're really a form of energy that's been around since the Big Bang, and you've only been human for six months. All your memories are fake and your entire life is a lie'. Yeah, that'll _really_ go over well."

I roll my eyes. "You don't have to put it exactly like that."

"She can't know," she insists. "It's my job to protect her, even from the truth. I was a little over her age when I was chosen as the Slayer, and it took me a long time to come to terms with it. I don't wanna do that to her."

I know I'm not gonna win this argument. Right now, Buffy's got too much to worry about. Maybe I can try again later, when there isn't any immediate danger.

"So," Kamon says, "we have an insane vampire on the loose who may or may not try and kill us again, and an order of Knights who may total in the thousands who want to kill an innocent little girl. What are we prioritizing first?"

Buffy sighs, and I can see the weight of the world on her shoulders. I want to reach out and comfort her, but I keep my distance.

"Drusilla may not be a problem if she really has gone back to LA, but we should keep a look out in case she's still here," she decides. "We should focus on finding out who these Knights of Hack 'n Slash are. I'll call Giles tonight and we can hold a Scoobie meeting in the morning. Maybe we'll luck out and the Knights will give up after confirming that Glory is dead, but I'm not normally that lucky, so we need to be prepared. If we see any of them on patrol, maybe we can take one captive and interrogate him."

It doesn't occur to me until then the flaw in that plan. At least, my role in it. "Then I can't go it alone. Chip won't let me so much as pinch those blokes. Bloody hell, if I'm with the Bit and they attack us, I won't…" I kick the bin and don't care when all the bloody tissues spill out onto the floor.

If they attack me when I'm with her, I won't be able to keep her safe. They'll take her and kill her, and I'll be helpless to stop them.

Buffy at least has the decency to look sympathetic. "You shouldn't patrol alone. And I plan on sticking close to Dawn when I can, and whenever I can't," She turns to Kiri and Kamon, "either of you can watch her, right?"

They nod, and it's a good plan, but I still feel sodding useless.

This chip is an insult, and made me feel like less than a man, but there's a small part of me that can't be too angry for getting it. If I never did, I'd still be trying to kill Buffy. Scratch that, one of us would've succeeded by now. Either Buffy would've turned me to dust without a second thought, or I would've drained her dry and never looked back. That last thought terrifies me. I want to believe that something would have stopped me, if Dru's words are true and I'd really been in love with her back then, but I'd come so close when I had the Gem of Amara…

The chip stopped me from killing her, so I could realize how much I love her.

That doesn't mean I don't hate the damn thing. It leaves me defenceless against humans, and if these Knights try to hurt someone I care about and I can't stop them… I'll never forgive myself. I'll drive a stake through my own heart.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Kamon raise an eyebrow at his wife. Kiri shifts her head in my direction, and Kamon nods. They didn't even need to exchange a word, yet they both understood each other perfectly.

"Do you store any weapons downstairs?" Kamon asks me, picking up the three swords. "I know you have a chest up here, but these should be kept out of sight."

"Good plan." I lead him over to the rug and remove it, before pulling up the stone blocking the entrance to the lower level.

"Hey, Buffy?" Kiri calls. "Can I talk to you a second?"

"Sure."

The two Slayers are in deep conversation by the time Kamon and I reach the bottom of the ladder. I have another chest down here, but it's empty. I open it, and Kamon passes me the swords one at a time.

"My staff can perform small feats of magic," says Kamon. "Not on the same scale as your witches, and mostly just in combat situations. That's how I can make it act as a stake. I can use it to behead demons, too. But since the rise of technology, I've found it has an effect on electronic devices."

"Meaning?" I raise a curious eyebrow.

"It switches them off. Permanently," he replies. "As far as I'm aware. We're always on the move, so we don't stay long enough to see how long the effect lasts for."

I think I know where this is going. "If you're saying what I think you're saying…"

"I think I can disable your chip."

I stand up and stare at him. "Being attached to my brain won't cause my head to fry?"

"I once switched off a radio Kiri was holding," he explained. "Didn't harm her. But that's not my biggest concern. If I do this, I want you to promise that you won't return to your old ways. I don't want to be responsible for unleashing you back onto the world. I don't think you will; you can control yourself when it counts, and you're willing to do anything for those you care for. But for my own peace of mind, give your word. And know that if you break it, I'll end you myself."

He doesn't truly believe he'll have to do that, but I understand why he's saying it. And he doesn't have to worry; the thought of returning to my old ways leaves an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach. Doubt I'd be able to feed off someone again.

And there's Buffy. The look on her face, if I went back to killing… I can't picture it. In her eyes, I'd be no better than Angelus.

Still… "You think we should talk about this with Buffy first?"

"It's your head, and that means it's your choice, not hers," says Kamon. "And I think we've learned that with her, actions speak louder than words. I doubt she's ready for you to be without your chip, and explaining the benefits to her won't convince her. But if she witnesses you fighting on her side with no restraining bolt, she'll see that you don't need it."

"Point." It took me saving her mother's life for her to realize I'm not an emotionless monster.

"So?" His eyebrows almost disappear beneath his headband.

"I promise," I tell him. "And if I ever break it, I'll dust myself before you can even get to me. Although, I might have to kill those Knights if they harm a single hair on Buffy and Dawn. But then they'll deserve it."

He smiles. "I agree." Then he brings out his staff, tucked away under his bracelets, and resizes it. But it's not as big as it normally is. "Turn around."

I do. Then I stand still and close my eyes.

There's a light tap on the back of my head, I feel a surge of something (probably magic) sweep through me, and then there's nothing. Did it work?

"Done?"

"Only one way to find out."

We climb back up the ladder and find Buffy and Kiri ready to go. I can't test it on Buffy, since I need time to prove it to her. Kiri will keep it quiet, and judging from the silently conversation with her husband, probably already knows.

Kamon helps her to her feet, and I come up beside them. My movements are subtle so Buffy doesn't see, and I quickly pinch Kiri's uninjured arm.

Nothing.

I know I did it hard enough to warrant a reaction from the chip, so that means it's out of action. No more zaps for Spike.

Kiri meets my gaze and winks.

* * *

I don't think the Scoobies have ever been this big. Well, maybe back in high school when we rallied the whole class against the Mayor, but I don't think that really counts.

All of us are here with the exception of Mom; she's meeting with a lady she works with at the gallery. Dawn's here though, which means I can't tell the remaining four people out of the loop who she is. She's snooping around, picking up stock and looking behind the counter, but I know she's listening. And if she drops and breaks something, I'm _so_ not paying for it; that'll be coming out of her allowance.

Kiri and I tell everyone about the Knights, and then Spike and Kamon reveal their encounter with Drusilla. Giles takes his glasses off and cleans them at the mention of the vampire, so I guess I know which one wigs him out more.

I explain the plan I detailed last night. We need to keep an eye out for Drusilla in case she's still in Sunnydale, but we shouldn't relentlessly search for her in case she's left. It'll just be a waste of time. In the meantime, we need to find information on the Knights of Byzantium.

Xander's the first to speak. "So, first we've got King Arthur's Knights of the Round Table coming after us, and now Drusilla's thrown her crazy ass into the mix. And I thought Faith had the worst timing ever last year."

"Glory's death ending our troubles did appear too good to be true." Giles puts his glasses back on. "I contacted the Council and told them that their assistance is no longer needed, but perhaps I should call them again-"

"Not unless we can't find anything ourselves," I tell him. "I really don't wanna involve them." I nod towards Kiri, who sends me a grateful smile. "Besides, the Knights are only human. I can handle them if they keep attacking in small numbers. All I'm worried about is if they decide to bring their thousand-strong army."

"But Glory's dead," says Willow. "They don't need to destroy the Key if there's no risk of her getting it. Since she's, you know, dead. She _is_ dead, right?"

"She's very much of the dead," I confirm. "It's whether or not Sir Lancelot believed me."

"And perhaps they fear there may be others out there who wish to use the Key for their own purposes," says Giles. "Who's to say there aren't more creatures like Glory out there? Not to mention all the other kinds of demons who desire to see the end of the world, and that isn't even taking into account the humans who could want it."

"Ugh." I slump down in my chair. "Can't I have just one night off? One night where I don't have to worry about any of this?"

"Oh! I know what you need!" Anya pipes up. "I've seen this in movies. What you need is a Girl's Night In, a traditional American pastime for female humans that includes ice cream, chocolate, painting our nails and talking about boys."

"What you've just described is what a thirty-year-old-man thinks happens at teenage slumber parties," says Willow. "But a Girl's Night In sounds fun. I think we all need some stress relief."

Dawn comes back over to the table. She's slipping a book into her bag; probably a textbook from school. "And we can celebrate Mom coming home from the hospital."

I nod. "Sounds like a plan." Maybe it'll be a disaster like always, but if I don't _try_ and have some fun, then the bad things in the world will win.

"And what about me?" Xander is looking between us all with puppy-dog eyes. Poor guy. He must really miss Oz. "Am I not invited, or can I be an honorary girl tonight?"

Anya rubs his shoulder. "It's OK, honey. You can have a Guy's Night. Male bonding is a vital part of your development into adulthood."

"I _am_ an adult!"

"And you spent most of your teenage years hanging around girls. This will be good for you. I can go without orgasms for one night."

Spike's left eyebrow rises to his hairline. "So, it's gonna be him, me, Kamon and Rupert? That sounds like a barrel of fun." He says in the most sarcastic tone possible. If sarcasm was a liquid, he'd be dripping with it.

My mind supplies me with an image of Spike shirtless, dripping wet. Gah! I push the thought away and rest my head in my hands in an attempt to hide my blush.

I really, _really_ hope we skip the 'talk about boys' portion of the evening.


	11. Chapter 11: Blood Ties

**Chapter Notes**: In this chapter, Buffy and the girls watch _Labyrinth_. The thoughts she has about the film come from a video essay I watched on YouTube, titled _Labyrinth: Folklore and Feminism_. (The woman in the video talks about it more towards the end.)

* * *

_I never thought that I could feel this power, _

_I never thought that I could feel this free…_

~ _Never Say Never_ by Justin Bieber

* * *

As nights out go, this ain't that bloody bad.

Of course, my nights out have been a mite different than this. When I was human it was all about parties that showed off your social status, full of pompous idiots who did nothing but brag about themselves over unimportant matters. I only ever went to them in order to see Cecily, and what a bleeding disaster _that_ turned out to be. Then after I was turned, nights out were filled with bloodshed and carnage.

This is fine. Shooting pool at the Fish Tank while Harris questions Kamon and I about all we've done over the course of our long lives. It didn't take long for him to turn it into a bloody game of 'Which Vamp Did the Most Interesting Thing in the Named Decade', starting from the decade I was turned. Harris and Rupert judge, and one of us is rewarded a point for each decade. We have three points each.

"1940s," says Harris. "During World War Two, so this should be easy."

"1943. I was captured by Nazis and ended up on a submarine," I reply. "Long story short, we killed the Nazis, killed half of the Americans who captured the sub, and Peaches himself was sent to clean up our mess. He ended up siring a bloke so said bloke could fix the sub, but then turned him loose instead of staking him."

Harris clenches his fix. "I knew there was a reason I didn't like that guy."

"Agreed. I should never have let him near Buffy." Rupert sighs. "Have you any idea of this man's whereabouts?"

"Nah. Never heard from him again." I slap Kamon's back. "What about you, mate?"

"1945. Hiroshima. I only survived because I was tracking a demon in the sewers."

Well. _That's_ one way to darken the mood.

After a long moment of silence, Harris says, "OK, uh… As tragic as what happened there… Getting captured by Nazis is a lot more interesting, so point to Spike. 1950s?"

"1955. Dru and I partied all over Italy." I don't mention the carnage we left in our wake.

"I was in Korea from 1950 until 1953. I was preventing vampires from eating the refugees during the war."

"Point to Kamon. 1960s."

"Woodstock. 1969."

"1960. Tried helping out in the Vietnam War. Left when I realized how big a mess it really was."

"Uh…" Harris looks to the Watcher.

"I'm going for Woodstock. Point to Spike. 1970s."

Kamon thinks. "1970, Samoa. I saw the crew of Apollo 13 re-enter the Earth's atmosphere."

I hesitate for a moment, then sigh. "1977. Killed my second Slayer."

Harris winces. "Yeah, sorry, Spike. Killing people isn't interesting. Point to Kamon. 1980s."

I don't get a chance to say anything. Kamon answers immediately, and without hesitation. "1983. I met Kiri."

"That's his point," I say. "Nothing I did in the eighties will top that."

Rupert nods. "Point to Kamon. 1990s."

My answer is just as instant. "1997. I met Buffy." When the words leave my mouth, it suddenly occurs to me that she may not have told her friends and Watcher about my feelings for her. Which will make the rest of the evening bloody awkward for all of us.

"Spike gets the point," Kamon insists. "Which leaves us at a tie."

Harris and Rupert are still staring at me. I'm tempting to explain that it's interesting because she turned my bleeding life around, but I don't want to lie. And since I said it right after Kamon said the same about his wife, I doubt they'd buy any excuse I can come up with.

Rupert goes to open his mouth, probably to threaten me into staying away from his Slayer or something. But then from out of nowhere a brunette chit steps right into the middle of our group with a huge grin on her face.

"Hello! Is Warren here? He is my boyfriend. I must find him. Do you know Warren?"

"No Warren here," says Harris. He looks relieved that there's a distraction. "We don't know any Warren. Right guys?"

We all shake our heads.

"OK. I'm sorry to bother you." She walks away, and immediately asks a nearby couple the same question.

"She's not human," says Kamon. "No heartbeat, no blood flow, no smell; nothing. It's like she doesn't exist."

I glance over at her. She's moved on to ask a group of men by the bar. I focus on her, and Kamon's right; she looks human, but she's missing all the inside bits that make her human.

One of the men slides off his stool. "I can be Warren if you want, darling." He touches her shoulder, and before I can blink, the chit grabs the man's arm and shirt and lifts him over her head. She then tosses him over the bar with strength that's _definitely_ not human.

"Only Warren's allowed to touch me!" Then her smile returns to her face, and she walks out of the bar like nothing's happened.

Kamon and I are too stunned to go after her. "What the bloody hell…?"

"I don't know about the rest of you," says Harris, "but I was getting some serious robot vibes off of her."

"You say that like you've seen one before." Kamon frowns.

Harris nods. "Back in high school, Buffy's mom dated a robot called Ted."

I snap my attention to him. "Joyce dated a bloody _robot_?"

"Hey, she didn't know he was a robot at the time! He was seriously creepy. Had this nice guy act, but underneath the surface…"

"Yes, yes, save the full story for another time," says Rupert. "We need to inform the others of what has happened here."

"Can't you give the Slayer one bloody night off?" I ask him.

"As much as I would love for her to remain duty free tonight, the appearance of this robot gives us one problem too many."

He's right, as much as I hate to admit it. Still, Buffy's not gonna like this. First those bloody Knights want to kill her sister, then Dru shows up, and now there's sodding _robots_ in the mix? Why do things keep getting worse?

* * *

Girl's Night In doesn't get better than this: sat in the living room, stuffing our faces with ice cream and chocolate while watching a movie starring a gorgeously sexy man. I don't even care that David Bowie's costumes are outdated, that accent is doing things to me.

It's a little different than Spike's, but similar enough that I can safely blame my attraction to the vampire entirely on Jareth.

"Ooh! This is my favourite part! Everyone, quiet!" Willow shushes us – even though none of us have been talking.

"You're the only one talking." And of course, Anya has to point it out.

"Quiet!"

I glance over at Kiri, who's watching the film with a grin on her face. She says she's seen it before; she saw it with Kamon when it was first released onto the big screen. But I think she's smiling because of the company. She has friends, but she was forced to leave them behind in Auckland when she and Kamon went on the run. And she's probably made more over the years, but I doubt they had time for gatherings like these, since they were constantly on the move.

This is probably the first Girl's Night she's ever had. Thirty-six, and never had a Girl's Night In? And she's not the only Slayer who hasn't experienced anything like this, I realize while thinking of Kendra. The Council seriously sucks.

"_My will is as strong as yours, and my kingdom as great._" I watch as Sarah approaches the Goblin King. He tries to reason with her – gives her other options, a chance to be with him – but she doesn't listen.

When I watched this movie as a child, and then again in my early teens, I used to think that Sarah was crazy for turning Jareth down. But watching this movie again now that I'm older, I finally understand why she didn't go with him.

Jareth treated her like a little girl throughout the entire movie; treated her like someone who was biting off more than they could chew, who couldn't handle herself. His words are all too similar to Angel's, who spent most of our interactions early on underestimating my abilities. He still treats me like a child, if what happened at Thanksgiving is any indication.

This was my understanding of a relationship, and it gave me an unhealthy view of love. And not just in the way Jareth treated Sarah; there's a massive power imbalance between them. She's a teenage girl, while he's a grown man…goblin, and a King. I was Sarah's age when I met Angel, while he's an adult two-hundred-and-something vampire. It was the same with Riley; I was a student while he was a TA. I thought all of this was normal.

Someone should have explained it to me. Or maybe I should have tried harder to understand. The Goblin's Kings words – asking her to fear him and love him and do as he says – are words of possession. He believes that she's there for _him_.

But she's not. Sarah is there to rescue her brother, to correct her own mistake. She's there to claim victory.

"_You have no power over me._"

I was never Angel's destiny; the reward he would get once his redemption's complete. And I was never the superhero girlfriend Riley wanted me to be; the co-star to his Action Hero.

I am the Slayer. I have my own destiny.

It hits me that Spike never asked me to be anyone other than myself. He actually stopped me and wanted me to think about what I want. And when we teamed up against Angelus, we were on even ground; there was no power imbalance.

Giving Spike a chance is starting to look more and more appealing by the day.

The movie ends, and Dawn presses the stop button. "Ugh. Why didn't she stay with him?"

Uh oh. "Because it wasn't the right thing, Dawn. That wasn't love. He treated her like a child and was manipulating her into believing that being with him was what she wanted."

She crosses her arms. "Right. It's bad for me to do something like that, but it's totally OK when Angel did that to you?"

"It wasn't OK," I tell her. "I know that now. I'm honestly surprised Mom didn't call the cops on him. It wouldn't have worked, but…"

"I should have done," says Mom. "I should have taken you to a counsellor and let them help you. But after what happened when we lived in LA, I was deluding myself into believing that everything was OK here. I didn't want to have to move a second time, and seeing you acting out again, being irresponsible enough to involve yourself with an older man… I ignored what was happening. Until you staked a vampire in front of me, and I couldn't ignore it anymore. I'm sorry I let you down, honey."

She gives me a side hug, which I return. "It's OK, Mom."

"I like to think of myself as a budding feminist," says Willow. "So, I want to apologize as well for supporting your relationship with him. And with Riley. If I'd known TAs weren't allowed to date students…"

"I've lost count of all the patriarchal assholes I've cursed for mistreating women," says Anya.

"It's conditioning," says Tara. "My father did it to my mother; treated her like she was incompetent and couldn't do anything without him. It took me a long time before I realized he was doing the same to me, and that it was wrong."

"So, if you don't like people treating you like a child, Buffy," Dawn says, "why do you treat _me_ like a child all the time?"

"Because you still are, Dawnie." I smile.

She doesn't. Wrong answer. "I'm not a little kid anymore! You were only a little older than me when you were chosen as the Slayer, out killing things every night! You're such a hypocrite!" She jumps to her feet and storms upstairs, and we hear her bedroom door slamming shut behind her.

"Buffy…" Mom sighs. "Maybe you should let your sister have some responsibility. Treating her like a child can be just as damaging as when Angel treated you the same way."

Damn it. "I'm sorry. I just can't help it. She's my little sister."

Kiri, who's been silent up until this point, speaks up. "This might sound a little off-topic, but… The first time I returned to New Zealand, I wanted to learn more about my heritage. My Watcher never let me learn anything about Maori culture… There was a story that stayed with me. It has a lot of versions across the Pacific Islands – a lot of Polynesian mythology is like that – but the first version I heard stayed with me."

"Tell us." Willow leans forwards.

"It tells of Hina, who is said by some to be the Goddess of Light," Kiri begins. "Hina came down to Earth to work among the mortals. She even became the wife of a human man, and they had many sons. But as time went on, her mortal family became troublesome. Her sons were unruly and disrespectful, and her husband was lazy and treated her like a possession. One night, Marama the Moon God saw Hina weeping, so went down to Earth and asked her why she was crying. She told him her tale, and he said that if she wished it, she could come and live with him on the Moon. But she had to climb the night sky herself in order to get there, for his power wasn't strong enough to whisk them both up there. He told her she had the power to determine her own destiny, and not live the way others told her to. She was a Goddess, and should be treated no less than what she deserves."

"If her husband wasn't giving her orgasms, then he wasn't worth her time," says Anya. Willow shushes her.

Kiri continues, "Hina thought about Marama's words all day as she worked. Her husband and sons continued to mistreat her, and when the sun set, Hina had made her decision. She created a pathway using the clouds and the stars, and she began to climb towards the moon. However, her husband saw her climbing through the sky, and yelled for her to come back. He yelled and yelled, ordering her to obey him like a wife should, but Hina kept climbing. When she felt she was high enough, she shouted back to him that she was going to meet her new husband, the Moon. Her husband realized she wasn't coming back down on her own, so began to climb after her, to fetch her himself. Hina thought he had returned to his home, and didn't realize he was beneath her until she heard him. She tried to climb faster, but he managed to reach out and grab her foot. But this didn't deter Hina from her desire. Using all of her strength, she shook him off and watched as her cruel husband fell to Earth. They say her husband broke both his legs upon landing, and lived in poverty for the rest of his life because his unruly sons refused to look after him."

"Couldn't have cast a better vengeance myself," says Anya with a smile. All of us shush her this time.

"When Hina reached the Moon, Marama was there to greet her. He welcomed her into his home, and they were married soon after. Some say that when the Moon is full, you can see Hina in Marama's embrace, happy in their home where they have lived ever after," Kiri finishes.

I can see why that story stuck with her. It's so full of power, and I feel like I can climb up to the moon myself.

The door knocks suddenly, giving no one a chance to comment on the story. I climb to my feet and go to open it. As I approach, I sense vampires on the other side, but the signatures are familiar; Spike and Kamon. What are they doing here? Aren't they supposed to be with Xander and Giles on a Guy's Night Out?

I open the door, and it's them, with Xander and Giles behind them. "Guys? What are you doing here?" They wouldn't be here unless it was an emergency. The Knights? Drusilla?

They step inside, and I shut the door behind them. "Buffy, I apologize for this interruption, but this simply couldn't wait," says Giles.

"It could've done," says Spike. "Doubt a bloody robot is that important."

"Robot?" I'm immediately reminded of Ted and his creepy 1950s patriarchal family values. "Another one?"

Spike looks at the ceiling. "How have bloody _robots_ become a common occurrence in this town? Where are the flying cars that were promised with them?"

I'm about to ask Giles why he thought a _robot_ would be important enough to interrupt my night off, but then I notice Kamon's nose twitching. He immediately bolts over to Kiri and looks her over. "Are you bleeding again?"

"No, my wounds are fine." She shows him. There are still marks there, but they're healing up nicely.

"Then why can I smell bleeding?" He looks everyone over.

Spike sighs. "Mate, you know woman have a time of the month when they-"

"Oh god, Spike! Don't say it!" Xander screws his face up in disgust, and Giles has a similar reaction.

"What?" Spike frowns. "What's wrong with nature taking its course?" Of course he'd think there was nothing wrong with a period. It involves blood, and he's a vampire.

"I know about that. I've been married for seventeen years," says Kamon. "We actually have a lot of fun when she-"

"Aagh!" Xander covers his ears. "Don't finish that sentence!"

Kamon rolls his eyes. "What I'm _saying_ is, I know the difference. This isn't that kind of blood I can smell. I'm surprised you can't tell the difference, Spike."

Spike starts sniffing. "Can now. It's coming from…" He looks suddenly towards the stairs, and I follow his gaze.

Dawn is standing on the steps with a great big knife in her hand, and her arm is bleeding. Beside her feet is an upturned book, which she must have dropped.

"Dawn!" What the hell is going on?!

"Oh, my baby!" Mom immediately jumps into action. "Get the bandages! Someone, get the bandages!"

Tara runs past me into the kitchen. Her movement pulls me out of my shock, and I leap forwards. I snatch the knife out of my sister's hands and tug her down the stairs. "Dawn, what did you _do_?!"

"This is blood, isn't it?" she asks. "What am I? I'm not…some Key…"

She knows. Crap, she knows.

"Key?" Willow frowns. "Wait, Dawnie's the _Key_?"

"Why didn't you tell us?" Xander looks personally betrayed.

I gesture to Dawn's bleeding arm. "Maybe because I didn't want _this_ to happen?! How about you guys save the accusations for later when my little sister isn't _bleeding_!"

They both shut up, and Tara comes back with the bandages and some tissues. Mom takes them from her and uses the tissues to wipe away the blood. Meanwhile Giles walks past us and retrieves the book Dawn dropped. When it's in his hands, I recognize it; his journal, which he's been using to make notes on all the information we have on the Key and Glory. He usually hides it behind the counter at the Magic Box.

Dawn was behind the counter today. I saw her slipping a book into her bag, but I'd assumed it was one of her textbooks from school.

"You stole this." Giles turns to face Dawn. "You took this from the Magic Box. This isn't yours to take, Dawn. You stole this from me-"

"Giles, not now!" I gesture again to my sister's bleeding arm, and the tears streaming down her face. "Do you really think now is a good time?"

But my Watcher doesn't relent. "She went snooping around into other people's property, and I'm supposed to be sympathetic that she didn't like what she found? Perhaps she's finally learned her lesson."

My sister cries louder.

* * *

Buffy's been quiet all day.

Spike and Kamon left early to see if they could track down Drusilla. She would be hiding away from the sun, putting her at a disadvantage. Buffy and I were left to track down the robot.

I know Buffy's upset about Dawn finding out, but she was able to hide her emotions well. She focussed on our mission; she asked Willow to find anyone named Warren, and we were given only one suspect: Warren Mears. He wasn't at his home, and we had to search all over town before we found him in the park. He was there with his girlfriend, Katrina, and both were under attack from the robot.

He made the robot, and the reason why was sickening. She was a sex-bot, made to be his girlfriend, and only that. No other purpose, no life of her own. Then when he managed to get himself an _actual_ girlfriend, he abandoned the robot – April – and hoped she'd drain her battery. I don't blame Katrina for fleeing from the creep.

Buffy and I fought April until she began to lose power, and then we sat with her until she went dead.

Now we're walking back, after disposing of the body. The sun is setting, the light hitting Buffy's face and highlighting her emotional turmoil.

"You wanna talk?" I ask.

"Is that how some guys see women?" she says. "As property? Or potential girlfriends?"

"The Council only see the Slayer as a weapon to use against evil," I supply. "Some men are just like that. But not all of them. We don't need men in our lives to make us happy, but that shouldn't stop us from _wanting_ one. So long as he loves you and treats you with respect, there's nothing wrong with that."

"Hmm."

"That's not the only thing on your mind, is it?"

She shakes her head. "It's Dawn. Spike was right; I shouldn't have kept it from her. I should have sat her down and explained it to her calmly, with Mom. Instead she found out via Giles's blunt notes, on her own, after arguing with me about how I still treat her like a kid. She called me and Mom her fake family."

For the first time, I don't know what to say. I've never experienced anything like this.

We reach her house, but as we walk up the pathway, Joyce bursts through the front door and yells, "Dawn's missing!"

Buffy runs up to meet her, with me close behind. "What?! Since when?"

"I don't know!"

"Joyce, calm down," I say. She hasn't been out of the hospital very long; this kind of stress can't be good for her. She takes in several deep breaths, and I place a hand on her shoulder. "When did you last see her?"

"This morning," she replied. "I managed to convince her to go to school; she said she'd rather be there than here. Then I had to go to the hospital for my follow-up appointment, but Dr. Kreigel was running behind after performing an emergency operation, and I was there for hours. I only got home ten minutes ago. When I got in, I saw that the school had left a message; Dawn was suspended for swearing at a teacher. They wanted me to pick her up, but since I never replied, they let her walk home by herself!"

"Walk home by herself?! In _this_ town?!" Buffy looks ready to kill something. "That proves it. Teachers are stupid. Or evil, like Snyder."

"She's not here, and I don't know where she could have gone!" Joyce starts pacing along the porch.

"We'll find her," I say. "You should stay here in case she comes back. Call everyone else and tell them to start looking for her. Buffy and I will go and find Kamon and Spike to tell them. We'll find her."

* * *

Bloody Bitty Brat, making me worry like this.

Buffy and Kiri had found us in a panic, and it quickly came out that the Nibblet had gone missing. We split up, Kamon and Kiri heading off together while Buffy and I began searching through the cemeteries.

Now its dark, raising the risk of the Nibblet getting caught by something nasty. I don't say this to Buffy; she already knows and is worrying her pretty little head over it. Doesn't need a reminder.

"Dawn!"

"Quiet. If she hears you hollering, she'll scamper off in the other direction."

She lets out a frustrated sigh. "You were right, you know. I should have told her. But she's so stupid, running off like this!"

"The Bit's smarter than she looks, if you actually give her a chance to prove it," I tell her. A thought comes to me. "How about we check my crypt? Could've decided to hide out there, so nothing would get her."

"It's worth a shot."

We're close, so it doesn't take us long before we're walking through the door. There's no sign of anyone, and there's nothing out of place.

Except for something that's been put on my sofa.

I walk over and realize it's one of those Barbie dolls young girls love to play with. Only instead of blonde, this one has brown hair. And is dressed remarkably similar to Dawn…

I go still. There's only one person I know who could've left this here.

"What is it?" Buffy walks over to me.

I show her the doll. "I think Dru's got her."

* * *

Spike is moving fast, but I can keep up with him. He says that Drusilla's scent is fresh, and it won't take long for us to follow it.

I hate the thought of Dawn in Drusilla's clutches, but Spike assures me that since his sire left a message, Dawn is alive. Drusilla wants us to find her, and probably wants to kill her in front of us. That really doesn't make me feel any better, but at least I know my sister still lives.

It doesn't take long for me to realize our destination: the mansion on Crawford Street. Of course Drusilla would take Dawn to the one place that might hurt me the most. And it would have, once. But it doesn't now. Or maybe she's there because it was where Spike and I first worked together? And, subsequently, it's where Spike betrayed her.

As we're hurrying up the driveway, I see two figures hiding in the bushes, staring into the building through the window. One looks our way, and I realize it's Kiri.

"Buffy, Spike," she calls in a hushed whisper, gesturing us over.

"How did you know to come here?" I ask her as Spike and I crouch next to them.

"I saw some of Glory's minions," Kiri explains. "Kamon overheard them talking about the Key, so we thought it best to follow. They led us here."

"Glory's minions? I found a doll in my crypt, so I figured Dru had the Bit," says Spike.

"Look." Kamon diverts our attention to what's happening inside.

Dawn is dragged into the room, the very same where Acathla was opened, by Drusilla. She forces Dawn to kneel on the floor, in the centre of a circle that's been painted in red. I wouldn't be surprised if that's blood.

"How would Drusilla know Dawn's the Key?" I ask.

"You mentioned that crazy people could see her, right? Dru's crazy. Of course she knows," Spike points out.

OK, that was a stupid question.

Six of Glory's scabby minions enter the room, chanting. They form a circle around Dawn and Drusilla, and one of them steps forwards with a book. Then a little bald man appears, wearing glasses and a suit. I think he's human at first until I notice his large, scaly tail dragging along the floor.

"Thank you for helping us, good Doctor," says the minion with the book.

"Call me Doc, and it's my pleasure," says the demon. "The energy signature left behind from when the Dimension of Acathla was opened will do nicely. Do you have the ashes, Jinx?"

"Yes." The minion, Jinx, removes a vial from his pocket. "This is all that remains of our ever so wonderful Glorificus."

"Good." Doc looks towards Dawn. "Now, in order to bring her back, we must draw blood from the Key, brought to us by Drusilla the Mad." From his pocket he pulls out a big knife.

That's it. I've seen enough.

"OK, plan of attack," I whisper. "Kamon, you take Doc. Kiri and I will take Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, Bashful, Sneezy and Dopey."

"Did you really need to name them all, pet?" Spike raises an eyebrow at me.

I roll my eyes. "Spike, you take your crazy ex-girlfriend and get Dawn to safety. I'm counting on you."

"Until the end of the world," he says. "Even if that happens to be tonight."

We sneak closer, and when Doc begins to move towards Dawn, I strike. I surge forwards, grab Jinx and snap his neck before he can scream.

Doc whirls to face me. "Slayer!"

"No!" Drusilla howls, vamping out. "She wants to spoil my party again!" She doesn't notice Spike come up behind her, and he uses a metal fire poker to whack her over the head. Probably the same one he used on Angelus. She lets go of Dawn as she falls, and my sister crawls out of the circle and presses herself up against the wall.

The other minions charge at me, but Kiri grabs one and snaps his neck. Two minions turn to fight her, while the remaining two continue to attack me. Kamon appears and swings his staff at Doc, but the demon is faster than he looks and dodges the attack.

It doesn't take me long to kill my two opponents, and I look towards my sister in time to see Drusilla knock Spike over. She then grabs Dawn and starts leaning in, ready to rip her throat out.

"NO!" I start running, but I know I'll be too late.

Spike, still lying on the floor, whips out a stake hidden in his coat and throws it at Drusilla's back. It hits bullseye, and Drusilla turns to dust before she even realizes she's been killed by her once lover.

I stop running, and I wait until Spike meets my gaze before I tell him, "Go!"

He nods and jumps to his feet, before scooping Dawn into his arms and hurrying out the door leading into the garden.

"No! The Key!" Doc uses his tail to sweep Kamon off his feet, even knocking the staff out of the vampire's hands. I'm surprised the demon is even giving him a hard time; he doesn't even look that intimidating. But then Slayers typically don't either.

Doc attempts to go after Spike, but Kiri – who's also killed her two opponents – acts before he can get far. She grabs Kamon's staff off the floor and jumps towards the demon, and in mid-air she swings the staff towards his head. There's a bright flash of light, and Doc's head is rolling across the room while his body collapses in a heap. OK, how does that staff _work_? It's not even sharp!

"Oh, my little Slayer, I knew there was a reason I love you." Kamon gets to his feet. "I've seen these types of demon before. Very hard to kill. We need to burn the stump on his neck so he can't reattach his head, then bury both parts miles apart."

Sounds like overkill, but he's the expert.

"Can you guys take care of this?" I ask. "I need to make sure Dawn's OK."

Kiri nods. "Go. We'll be fine."

I walk outside, and it turns out, Spike didn't go far. He and Dawn are sat on one of the stone benches, talking. Spike is saying something about blood, something about knowing what human blood smells like. He gestures to her arm, and I realize he's trying to comfort her. He's trying to explain that she's human, even if she didn't start out that way.

"Babies start out as tiny little eggs before they turn into, well, actual babies," I hear him say as I get closer. "Same process for you. Doesn't matter if you started out as a form of energy instead of an egg. A blob of energy's much more interesting, if you ask me."

Dawn giggles. Actually giggles. I could kiss Spike right now, if my sister wasn't here to see it.

"But…" She looks away. "My memories are fake."

"Piffle." Spike scoffs. "How about instead of thinking of them as memories, think of them as your DNA; what makes you, well, _you_."

"I guess that makes sense." She shrugs, and only then does she look up and see me. "Oh look, it's my fake sister who doesn't care about me."

"I care, Dawn."

"Because I'm the Key."

I kneel before her. "Spike said you have human blood, and that blood is Summers blood. Same as me. That makes you family. It doesn't matter where you came from. You're my sister. And I know that, because there's no way you'd annoy me all the time if you weren't."

She manages a smile.


	12. Chapter 12: Spiral

**Chapter Notes**: Just a heads up, I probably won't be able to update again until Sunday.

* * *

_This is our sanctuary, _

_you are safe with me…_

~ _Sanctuary_ by Welshly Arms

* * *

Life's good – and thinking that will probably bring about the apocalypse, but right now, everything's fine. Mom and Dawn are safe, Drusilla's gone, there's no sign of the Knights of Hack n' Slash…

It's been twenty-four hours since my sister went missing. The cemetery's quiet. It's funny, because Kiri hasn't been here very long, but I've already grown used to having her around. She wanted to patrol with Kamon tonight, so I've gone at it alone. Being Third-Wheel-Buffy is no fun.

Or I can find Spike and patrol with him. I sigh. I still don't know how I feel about him; about dating him. The pros have been steadily growing and now outweigh the cons, but it's still…_Spike_. There's a small part of my brain that has an automatic "eww, gross" response to him, even after everything I've learned.

I know I'm overthinking things with him, but I can't help it. Every single relationship I've ever had has blown up in my face in one way or another, even if the metaphorical 'blowing up' was just a little poof. And Spike really does seem different compared to the others.

Ugh, making decisions is hard. It was so much easier when I let my friends influence my choices. Sure, I ended up dating a whole line of douchebags, but at least my brain never hurt like it is now. Or maybe I can tell Willow, see what she suggests, and do the opposite of what she tells me. But then she might have learnt her lesson as well and won't tell me anything, or will try and advise me to do the right thing instead of what she wants me to do…

Great, now my brain's hurting more.

I stop. I've been walking towards Spike's crypt, and I can see it up ahead. Ugh.

Maybe my subconscious is trying to tell me something. But then my subconscious also thought up the cheese guy in my First Slayer dream, so I probably shouldn't trust it completely.

A branch snaps to my left, and I turn with my stake raised. I can't sense any demons, but that doesn't mean there isn't danger. It could be one of the Knights.

It is. Two of them, walking out of the tress towards me, their swords drawn. They're wearing the same as before, and their faces are covered.

Good. No more think-y thoughts, just fight-y ones.

"You guys again?" I put away my stake. It's not much of a weapon in a fight against swords. Luckily, I brought a pair of daggers, and I draw those from my belt. "Did you even bother to check to see if Glory's dead? If you did, you'd be saving yourselves a lot of time and energy – and an ass-whooping from me. Seriously, I leave bruises."

They don't talk, just continue walking towards me. Maybe they can't talk with their face masks on. Or maybe they just don't want to. Rude. I'll be wasting my puns on these guys.

The first guy swings at me, and I duck. The second guy swings as I rise up again, and I block the attack with my dagger. The first guy swings again, and I block his attack, too. I push my daggers against their swords, sending them both stumbling backwards.

"Look, this is pretty hypocritical coming from me," I say, "but you can't solve all your problems by swinging a sword at them. If you actually came and _talked_ to us-"

The first guy tries to drive his sword into my chest, and I hold my daggers in an x, blocking him. I push upwards, throwing his sword into the air, and kick him in the stomach. He falls against a tree and I throw my daggers at him; they don't hit him, but they hit the weird bit of cloth covering his armour and pin him to the tree.

"I thought Knights were all about the courtly love and the code of honour," I say. "Trust me, there's _nothing_ honourable in what you're doing."

The second guy aims for my waist, and I leap over his sword like a high jumper. I land on my hands, then jump off the ground while kicking out at the same time. My feet connect with his face, and he falls to the ground, unconscious.

I land on my feet. "Seriously, you guys go back to wherever you came from, and tell whoever's in charge that your little crusade against me is pointless. Glory is dead, and the Key is protected. Fighting me is only going to get you killed."

There's a sudden sharp pain in my lower back, and I reach behind me to feel what it is. Something's sticking out of me. I pull it out to look at. A dart.

That's not honourable at all, hiding in the bushes waiting to take me out. I'm about to yell at them to come out and fight me, but I'm suddenly overcome with wooziness. The world around me is spinning, and I can't keep myself standing. I stumble back and forwards, trying to stay on my feet, before I collapse.

I try to crawl away, but I can barely move. This isn't like the test on my eighteenth, where I could still walk and run and _move my hands and feet_; now I can't even lift my hand an inch above the ground. I'm completely helpless.

There's a rustling in the bushes, and the hidden Knight appears in my vision, standing over me. He's not wearing a mask; it's the guy Kiri and I interrogated before.

"Please…" Never thought I'd ever resort to begging, and at least I can still talk. "You don't…understand…"

"I understand perfectly," he says. "With you dead, there will be nothing standing between us and completing our mission. The Key must be destroyed, such is the will of God."

He raises his sword and prepares to drive it into my heart.

* * *

I'm watching late night telly when I hear a familiar voice close by. Buffy.

Sounds like she's in the middle of fighting some nasty. Wondering if she needs help, I grab my coat and head outside. I can see her from the door of my crypt, and I stop to admire her style.

She's like poetry in motion. Using her daggers to block an attack, she tosses her opponent's sword into the air before kicking him into a tree. She then uses her daggers to pin him. Bloody hell, has she forgotten Lesson the Second? She needs those against swords.

My worry doesn't last. When the second bloke goes to attack her, she leaps over his sword, lands on her hands and kicks him in the head as she jumps back up again. Bloody magnificent.

These must be those Knights she was on about. They don't look that tough.

She tells the blokes to get out of town, but then something hits her back. A dart of some kind. She rips it out of her, but it's too late. She tries to fight it, but she goes down like an empty sack. She tries to crawl away, but she can't move. She's been paralyzed.

I'm already moving before the fear even grips me.

The bloke who did it stands over her, ready to end her life with his sword. He raises it, and with a roar, I leap. I barrel into him, and my fangs are in his throat before we even hit the ground. I don't drink from him, just tear out a chunk before jumping up and leaving him to bleed to death.

The one on the ground has come to, and he doesn't even grab his sword; just runs at me. Does he really think that'll work? I grab him by the head and snap his neck without even breaking my stride, walking towards the remaining bloke pinned to the tree.

He manages to pull the daggers out and throws one at me. I dodge with ease, along with the second, and when I reach him, he tries to backhand me. I grab his hand and snap his wrist. He doesn't even get the chance to cry out before I grab his neck and snap that, as well.

I don't feel guilty for ending their lives, but why should I? They were about to kill Buffy, and would've gone on to kill Dawn. I don't regret my actions.

Even if that means I'll lose my chance with Buffy. But it'll be worth it, seeing her and her family alive.

I hurry back over to her and kneel by her side. She' sweating and shaking. "Buffy…? Bloody hell, what have those wankers done to you?"

"Spike…" She's trying to be strong, trying to fight her tears, but is slowly losing that battle. "I can't…move…"

"OK. We'll fix this, I promise." I sweep my gaze around the perimeter. I can't hear anymore heartbeats, but that doesn't mean the danger's past. If I try and take her somewhere else, there're all manner of nasties that can get to her. And there could be more Knights blocking my path; I doubt this was a single attack. It's likely they've gone after Kiri and Kamon as well, possibly the rest of the gang too.

I can't fight back and protect her at the same time, especially if there's more than one opponent. The best option is to hide until the Slayer's back on her feet.

Being as gentle as possible, I scoop her into my arms and carry her bridal style towards my crypt.

"Spike… Your chip…"

Bollocks. She noticed. "I'm sorry, luv. I wanted to tell you, but… Didn't know how you'd react. Kamon used the magic in his staff to disable it, the night Drusilla came. Did it when we were putting the swords away. These Knights are human, pet, and I…I needed to be able to fight back."

She's silent for a few moments. "Won't hurt me?"

I risk pressing a kiss to her head. "Never, Buffy. Won't hurt your family, or your friends. Or anyone who's innocent. Those blokes… They were gonna kill you, pet. I didn't see any other choice."

No response. She's not pushing me away, but only because she can't.

Right when I'm about to enter my crypt, she moves.

She presses herself closer to me. Like she's seeking comfort.

I'm floored. Maybe she won't kick me out of her life, after all.

* * *

Spike's chip isn't working.

I watch him kill the Knights one by one, and that Angelus voice in my head whispers to me that he's back to his old bad self, and will kill everyone I love after killing me first. But the voice sounds hollow, meaningless.

It doesn't take me long to realize that I'm not afraid of him. I'm more afraid of what the Knights have done to me, and that more could be attacking my loved ones while I'm lying here, helpless. I tell myself that they probably wouldn't until they're certain I've been "taken care of"; that they'd wait for confirmation from Sir Lancelot that I'm dead. But then they didn't even bother to confirm whether or not Glory's dead…

Spike leans over me, and he's terrified. He doesn't hurt me, even promises me that we'll fix this. We, together, not just him. Then he scoops me up and hurries to his crypt, to safety. I wonder why he's not taking me to Giles or my house, but both are pretty far away. He probably doesn't want to risk running into some vamps or demons, or more of the Knights.

I question him about his chip, and he explains. He promises he won't hurt me or anyone I love, or even anyone else, and I believe him. He killed the Knights because they were going to kill me, and I don't blame him for it. If he hadn't, they would've just tried again. And after doing this to me, and knowing they want to kill my sister…

I gave them a chance. I told them Glory is dead, but they refused to listen to me. They're going to hurt people I care about in their stupid, meaningless crusade, and if killing them is the only way to stop them, then so be it.

Spike carries me into his crypt and lays me down on the couch. Then he hurries over to the door and shuts it tight, before sprinting across the room to open up the lower levels. Once the rug and stone are removed, he picks me up again and jumps down instead of using the ladder. He lands perfectly on his feet.

"Buffy, I need you to listen," he says. "Describe to me how you're feeling. I can't help you if I don't know how."

"Helpless," I tell him. I'm breathing deeply, but at least I can. I've heard of some paralysis cases where people needed a machine to breathe for them, because they couldn't do it on their own. "Hurts. Can't move much…" I lift my hand a tiny bit before letting it drop again.

He nods. "I'm gonna turn you onto you side, so I can have a look at your back. Alright? Maybe I can smell what they've pumped into you."

I don't want to speak again, so I nod. Very carefully, Spike turns me onto my side, so I'm facing away from him. He leans over me and moves my arms and legs into the recovery position, keeping me stable. Then he pulls up my shirt, and I feel his unnecessary breath against my back as he examines where the dart hit me.

"What…?" I try to ask what's been done to me, but it hurts to talk.

"Not bleeding," he says. "But I can smell what's gone into you. Poison. Same stuff people use to capture vamps; it paralyzes us so we can't fight back. Nazis used the same on me. Would kill a normal human; thank god you're a Slayer."

Poison. This is the last thing I need right now. "How long…will it last?"

"The sweat means your body's fighting it," he explains. "With your Slayer healing at work, reckon you'll be good as new again by tomorrow morning."

Tomorrow morning? But what if the Knights are attacking everyone else right now? And even if they're not, Mom and Giles will be worried about me. "I…" I want to tell him all this, but I don't have the energy.

But somehow, he understands. "You can't help them like this, Buffy. They'll want you to recover." He walks around the bed so he's facing me. He picks up a cloth along the way, and uses it to dry my forehead. "Your lot are strong, and they've got Kamon and Kiri looking out for them. And I need to stay here and take care of you."

"Don't…need…"

"Even the strongest need someone watching their back, luv," he says. "You just focus on getting better, while I make sure nothing nasty comes to take a bite out of you. Then when you're feeling more like yourself again, we'll track down the blokes responsible and kick their arses."

I want to laugh, but it only comes out as a sob. Damn it, I'm crying. Spike reaches out and starts stroking my hair, but then after only two strokes, he seems to think better of it and removes his hand.

I'm talking before I even realize I am. "Don't…stop…"

He looks at me with a mixture of awe and surprise. "Sorry. Didn't want to take advantage… You can barely move, so you can't stop me… Not that I'd ever do anything like that to you. Loving you proper means not taking advantage."

I think that's the first time he's said the big 'L' word to me. It sounds…good. "Don't stop," I repeat.

After a moment, he starts stroking my hair again. "Buffy, I…I understand. If you don't wanna start something with me, I mean. Especially after what you saw me do tonight. Christ, the only reason you're not running is because you _can't_. I want you to be here because you _want_ to be, not because you don't have a bloody choice. Would've taken you straight home if I thought it was safe enough…"

I'm still crying, but now it's not because of the pain. The look on his face… It's heart-breaking. He looks like he's waiting for me to brutally rip out his heart, tear it to pieces and stomp all over it. And I can't even be mad at him for thinking that might happen, even after I kissed him. I treated him like dirt, and didn't think his feelings were real. And he's probably assumed the kiss was only because I was grateful for him saving Mom's life…

The combination of Mom and a heartbroken Spike reminds me of someone I haven't thought about in years.

"There was a boy," I start to say, but I pause in relief. Talking doesn't feel like my vocal cords are being shredded anymore, so I guess Slayer healing is already kicking in. "In junior high. Really quiet and nerdy. His name was Basil; a lot of people bullied him for that name. I found out he had this…_huge_ crush on me. But I thought he was a loser, so…"

"So?" Spike presses.

I sigh. "I wasn't…very nice, before I was called," I explain. "I made Cordelia look…_saintly_, by comparison. I was gonna wait until lunch, and then turn him down in front of everyone. I thought it would make me look…cool. But Mom stopped me. She overheard me telling my plan to a friend over the phone, and she said…she said to think about it from his point of view. Turning him down anyway would hurt him, but turning him down like…_that_, it would probably kill him. She reminded me of how I felt when Ford rejected me."

"Ford?" It sounds like he vaguely remembers that name.

"The guy who came to you that time, saying he wanted to become a vamp," I remind him. "Promised to deliver me to you in return. You turned him and I had to stake him."

"Right. Bloody wanker. Turning you down and trying to get you killed? Deserved more than a staking." He clenches his fists.

"I was over him _eons_ ago," I assure him. "But remembering how hurt I was after Ford rejected me… I empathised with Basil, and I realized just how badly I would…hurt him. I decided to wait until he confessed his feelings for me, and turn him down gently, in…in private. He never got the chance. His family moved away without warning. There were a lot of theories about why, ranging from his father getting into trouble for tax evasion, and his mother being a secret agent whose cover was blown. But it doesn't matter. What I'm trying to say is… I'm sorry about what I said to you before. I know I said sorry already, but I want to say it again. I'm…I'm not gonna stomp all over your heart, OK?"

He nods. "How about we wait until tomorrow before we talk about all that, hmm?"

"Yeah. That's of the good," I say. I close my eyes; my body isn't shaking as violently as before, and I think I've stopped sweating. "Basil didn't even have time to clean out his locker. The school did it. A teacher gave me a bit of paper they found inside with my name written on it. A poem. Basil wrote a poem about me. It was…nice."

At first, I'm met with silence. But then Spike starts talking; reciting a poem. It takes me a few moments to realize it's a poem about a Slayer, and a few moments more to realize that the poem is about _me_.

Spike wrote a _poem_ about _me_.

And he's taking care of me while I'm sick, a voice in my head that sounds like Mom points out to me.

I should be annoyed that he's getting more and more attractive by the minute, but I'm not. It's making my decision easier.

His smooth voice lulls me to sleep.

* * *

Doesn't take her long to fall asleep. Looks like the worst of it is over; she's already looking a mite better.

I remain by her side.

"Didn't turn that wanker," I say. "Got one of the other vamps to do it. I've only ever turned one person in my bleeding existence, and after that, I vowed never to turn anyone again."

I sigh.

"It was my mum. She was sick; dying. I was helpless to do anything about it, until Dru turned me. Thought I'd found a cure for her. So I turned her. But when she rose… I want to believe that wasn't her, just a demon wearing her face. But I can't be sure… She said…horrible things to me, tried to attack me. I…I had to stake her. I didn't know if I'd done something wrong when I turned her, or if…if that's what she really thought of me, deep down. But I couldn't bring myself to turn anyone else again."

The only response I get is Buffy's peaceful breathing.

I keep stroking her hair. "I'll tell the story to you someday, pet. When I'm ready for someone else to hear it."

* * *

I wake up with a cold body lying next to me. My first thought is that I'm back in the mansion with Angel; I would often sleep in his bed in the weeks leading up to Graduation. My next thought screams at me to get out of there _now_, because Angel doesn't love me, he lied to me, and he turned a man on a submarine so could turn me too, because the soul won't stop him…

I open my eyes, and the first thing I see is a head of bleach blonde curls.

Spike. It's only Spike.

And it's actually gotten to the point where _Spike_ is the vampire I prefer over Angel.

I relax. He's curled up around me with his head leaning on my shoulder, looking completely adorable. I can't help but reach up and run my hand through his curls – and how can his hair be this soft if he keeps slicking it back all the time with humongous amounts of product? – and I realize I'm moving my hand, meaning I'm all better now.

I should leave. Everyone's probably worried about me, but wouldn't they have come to call on Spike about it by now? Or maybe it's earlier than I think it is.

Either way, I can't just leave Spike here sleeping.

I shift slightly, and his hand that's resting on my waist automatically tightens. Like he thinks someone's trying to take me away. Even in his sleep, he's protecting me. And while I don't need protecting now, I did last night.

The chip's no longer holding him back, and he's choosing to help me; to stay on my side. It would seem impossible if I hadn't met Kamon. Vampires can choose to be good without needed a soul, and I'm staring right at the proof.

In that moment, I decide I'm done overthinking.

I'm gonna take a leap.

It's tempting to wake Spike up with a kiss, but as romantic as _Sleeping Beauty_ made that look, it goes against the whole consent thing Spike's been advocating for. I mean, I don't think Spike will _mind_, being madly in love with me and all, but it's the principle of the thing.

I shuffle down the bed so our faces are level, and poke him instead. "Spike, wake up."

He growls, but it's more of an annoyed growl than a threatening one. "Trying to sleep…"

I roll my eyes. "I need to tell you something. And trust me, you'll wanna hear it."

He slides his hand further around me and pulls me against him. I wonder if he knows what he's doing. Or he could just be too sleepy to realize. I'm pressed up against his magnificent six pack with only his t-shirt in the way, so I'm not in a position to complain.

"To early…" he groans like a pouty child. "It's morning… It's bedtime for vamps…"

I roll my eyes again, but I can't help but smile at how adorable he's being. Behold: one of the most notorious vampires in history, snuggling up to a Slayer like she's his personal teddy bear, and with some of the best bed hair in the history of bed hair.

I guess I'll just have to bring out the big guns. "Spike, I'm gonna kiss you now. Is that OK?"

"Mmm…" He smirks, his eyes still closed. "Can do whatever you like with me, baby…"

I really hope that means he's consenting. After taking a breath, I lean in and press my lips to his.

He responds immediately, and wow, Spike's a pretty damn good kisser even when he's half asleep. He uses the arm around me to turn me onto my back, and he turns with me so he's above me. Having his body against mine like this feels so right, and I want to smack myself for not giving him a chance sooner. Spike is pouring everything he has into me, and I respond in kind.

Suddenly he breaks the kiss and stares down at me with wide eyes. Guess he's wide awake now.

"Spike?" Has he changed his mind?

He moves away from me, sitting upright. "Buffy, I'm so sorry. I thought I was dreaming; I didn't know what I was doing…"

Oh, he thought…? "Spike, it's OK. In case you forgot, I kissed you first. I even told you I was going to."

There's silence as he stares at me. Then he blinks. And blinks again. "You…kissed me?"

"Yep." I nod, sitting upright, as well. "I've made my decision. I wanna give you a chance."

He keeps staring at me. "You…do?"

"Do I need to spell it out for you? You. Me. Do kissing."

His face is mostly filled with shock, but I can see the hope growing in his eyes. "Really?"

I guess I have no one to blame but myself for his disbelief. Well, maybe Drusilla, too. "Yes, Spike. Is there any way I can prove-? Oh!"

Suddenly he flies forwards and tackles me to the bed, his entire body vibrating with what I quickly realize is excitement and joy. His mouth is right next to my neck, but I don't even believe for a moment that he'll bite me.

I can't hear what he's saying against my skin; the only words I can make out are my name and "love you", and _god_, Spike's reaction should be officially printed in the dictionary under the definition for 'endearing'. I return his embrace and run my hands through his hair again, and while I know it'll never be possible, I want to stay like this forever.

I don't know how much time passes, but the peace doesn't last. I hear the crypt door open upstairs, and a familiar voice calls out, "Spike? Buffy, are you here?"

It's Xander.

"We're down here!" I call up to him. "Wait there! We'll come up to you!"

Spike pulls back with a chuckle. "He knows there's a bed down here, pet. He'll be wondering what we've been up to."

I shrug. "I don't care what he thinks. And he's sleeping with an ex-demon, so he can't judge."

He shrugs, and his act of nonchalance is just that: an act. I can see that he's secretly pleased I'm not about to hide what we are or treat him like my dirty little secret.

I climb up first, and I see Xander standing over by the door. "I'm sorry I didn't come home last night, but those stupid Knights attacked me and they shot me with some kind of poison. Spike saved me, and he brought me here to protect me while I recovered, but I'm fine now…" I trail off when I notice that my friend looks a complete mess. His shirt's torn, there's a cut on his forehead, and he's covered in dirt. He's also holding an axe, and the blade has been painted with blood. "Xander, what happened?"

"The Knights," he explains. "They attacked all of us, separately. Your Mom and Dawn were with Giles, don't worry. He got them to the Magic Box; we all made our way there. By the time we got there, a whole army was after us. Not a thousand, but close to a hundred? It looked like it at the time; there could have been less. We barricaded ourselves inside, but they kept trying to come through. Kiri and Kamon held them off for as long as they could while Willow and Tara created a magical barrier to keep them out. Kamon's hurt, and Kiri managed to take out a bunch of Knights in her anger, but they're still waiting outside. They've got some priest guys trying to break the barrier, and we don't know how much longer it'll last… Willow put a cloaking spell on me and sent me to come and find you. We…we thought you were dead."

I cross the crypt and hug him. They've been in danger and here I was, kissing Spike in his bed. I mean, there's nothing _wrong_ with kissing Spike any other time, but I need to keep my priorities in check. "Is anyone else hurt?"

"Nothing worse than punches and bruises," he replies. "And Kamon says he should be fine soon enough. Kiri gave him some of her blood to heal him."

"OK." I turn back to Spike, only he's disappeared. "Spike?"

"Down here, luv," he calls out from the lower level. "Just thought we should arm ourselves." He reappears with the three swords from before. "You wanna dual wield, or can I?"

"We should save one for Kiri," I tell him.

"She's got one already," says Xander. "Took plenty from the Knights she killed. Most of us have one each. I just prefer the axe." He hoists said axe onto his shoulder. "I saw the bodies outside. Giles was worried you wouldn't be able to kill these guys, because they're human."

"They tried to kill me, and they're trying to kill my sister," I tell him. "I'm not letting them walk away from this. And I didn't kill those guys. Spike did."

Xander frowns. "But they're human."

"Kamon did me a favour and disabled the chip for me," Spike says. "Don't worry, if I was planning on hurting any of you, I would've done it right away, and that was days ago."

My friend doesn't throw accusations out, nor does he look scared. But like me, he's seen the proof that soulless demons can choose to be good. He actually believed it before I did.

"You can have two," I tell Spike. He nods and tosses the third sword to me. "Now let's go kick some ass."


	13. Chapter 13: Forever

_Here I am, this is me, _

_and I'm stronger than you ever thought I'd be…_

~ _She's So Gone_ by Naomi Scott

* * *

The middle of Sunnydale is deserted.

I see cop cars up ahead, but no officers – apart from the few lying dead on the ground, each of them having been run through with swords. The small part of me that still had reservations about killing these Knights fades away. I'm the Slayer, and normally I don't take out humans because it's not my job; I leave that to law enforcement.

But these guys can't be contained by human laws. I have to finish them.

Spike, Xander and I turn the last corner, and up ahead I see the Magic Box surrounded by a big dome of magic. I also see an army of Knights camped outside of the dome; lots of them, but under a hundred. Next to the dome are a couple of priest guys trying to break the barrier.

"OK, we need to sneak up on them and attack when we're close enough," I say. "Hopefully the others will see the commotion, and Kiri will join us. And Kamon, if he's feeling better. Xander, how about you go for the priest guys so they stop working on the barrier?"

"They're unarmed, so I'll only try and knock them out," he says.

Fair enough. "Alright. Let's go."

It's still early morning and the shadows are long, so we stick to them as we creep closer. When we're only a few buildings away, Spike suddenly holds out his arm to stop me from moving further. I send him a questioning look, and he gestures up to one of the buildings in reply. There's a guy standing on the roof, acting as a look-out. We can't pass him without him spotting us.

Spike links his hand together, mimics a lifting motion, points at me and then points at the roof. I understand and nod. We stand closer to the wall and he links his hands together again; I place my foot in his hands, and he propels me into the air. I land with grace on the roof, without even making a sound. I silently hop from building to building until I land right behind him.

I don't give him any warning; I push him off the building, and he lands in the middle of the army with a cry of shock. The other Knights look up.

"I told you Glory was dead!" I shout. "I told you to stay out my town! You could've come and talked to me, but instead you decided to attack my friends and family! I am the Slayer, and this is what happens when you _piss me off_!"

I jump from the roof, and I run a guy through as I land. There's no sympathy for him as he drops dead. Maybe I should feel something, but I'm too mad to care. And it's not like I'm going around killing innocent people, like Faith did. These guys are dangerous, and if I don't take them out, they'll kill the people I love. I can't let that happen.

Spike runs forwards and cuts down another Knight trying to swing at me. He joins me by my side, watching my back as we fight together. I see Xander running towards the priest guys, but then some Knights block my view, and the next time I see him, he's fighting a couple of Knights of his own. They're standing in front of the priests, protecting them.

I hear fighting close to the Magic Box, and there's a flash of light. Kamon's staff. I see him fighting, with Kiri beside him.

Suddenly there's another flash of light, but not from Kamon's staff. It's the shield breaking. A number of the Knights run towards the shop.

"No!" I try and cut my way through, Spike beside me. I can't let them get to Dawn.

"Buffy!" I turn to Spike; he's put down his swords and linked his hands again, and I understand. I place my foot in his hands, and he launches me into the air again. I soar over the top of the Knights and land right outside the Magic Box, before the first Knight reaches the door. I swing my sword and cut his head clean off. I ignore the blood that goes everywhere.

Xander, Kamon and Kiri join me in defending the Magic Box. Spike manages to push his way through and once again stands by my side. Arrows are flying from inside; Anya, Giles and Mom have their own crossbows and are firing them out the gaps in the barricade. I can hear Willow and Tara chanting, probably trying to get the barrier back up again.

One of the larger Knights throws a spear at the shop, and it smashes through the window. I hear several screams inside.

The loudest scream belongs to my best friend.

"TARA!"

Oh god. I hope she's OK. But I can't go inside to check, so I keep fighting.

There's a sudden flash from inside, and a loud rumble of something that sounds like thunder. But it can't be; the skies are clear. And whatever it is, it feels…_powerful_. Kamon actually stops fighting, and looks towards the shop with a concerned look in his eyes. Kiri has to stop a Knight from decapitating him.

"Kamon, what is it?" she asks.

He looks at me. "Move away from the door. _Now_."

The seriousness in his voice gets me walking before I can question why he wants me to move. A Knight I was fighting hurries towards the door, but suddenly gets flung backwards by an invisible force. I turn to see the cause, and my eyes widen.

Willow is hovering in the air, her eyes black, her veins dark. Her fingers are crackling with power; her whole body is vibrating with it. Everyone stops in their tracks, and the Knights for the first time actually look afraid.

My best friend floats in front of us, protecting us. Her attention is sorely on the Knights. "I. Give. You. Pain."

Fire and lightning shoot out of her hands, hitting the Knights in one blow. I hear a chorus of painful cries that last for only moments, before falling silent. All I hear after that are the sounds of horses; the steeds of the Knights, whinnying in fear. I see them towards the back of the battlefield, fleeing the scene. It doesn't surprise me that Willow spared them.

The same can't be said for the Knights.

When the smoke from the fire clears, all of them are lying dead, burnt to a crisp. Willow floats back down to the ground, her veins return to normal and her black eyes fade away. Those same eyes widen when she takes in the carnage she's caused.

"I… They hurt Tara," she says. "I got angry. I didn't mean to…"

"It's OK." I rub her shoulder.

From inside, Giles calls out, "Tara's stable, but I need to drive her to a hospital."

"I'll come too." Willow sways on her feet, clearly worn out from the huge magical feat she's just performed.

"I don't know if you want to hear this," Kamon says to her, "but I have been around for over five hundred years, and I can safely say that was the scariest thing I've ever seen."

"Scary? Oh no." She's hyperventilating. "I don't want that to happen again!"

Kiri comes to stand beside us. "Maybe I can call Neve? She can give you some lessons on how to control your power."

"Yeah. That sounds good." Willow nods hurriedly before disappearing inside.

Spike whistles to catch my attention. "Slayer, I think we missed one." He points towards a sewer lid popping up, and a Knight climbs out of it. He's dressed nicer than the others. A commander?

"That's the General," says Kiri. "He was leading the attack. Coward! He hid while his men perished!"

The man stands tall. "I had to survive and complete the mission. The Key must be destroyed. Such is the will of God."

Kiri is closest, and she uses the hilt of her sword to knock him out. "We shouldn't kill him yet. We should question him and find out if more are coming. You said there were a thousand men, right?"

"Yeah." I nod. "Bring him inside. We can tie him up and ask questions when he wakes up."

* * *

I'm not in a good mood.

Kamon's fine. I gave him my blood, and he's healed. But when I saw him go down… Something in me snapped. He's my lifeline; my rock. I'd be dead without him. All I saw was red, and when I came back to myself, several Knights were lying dead around me and a magical barrier was preventing more from coming.

He's fine, and so's everyone else. Tara's hurt, but she won't die, and she's been taken to the hospital by Giles and Willow. We won the battle, but the anger is still there.

It's the Knights. They remind me of the Council; refusing to listen to anyone else, seeing their own worldview as the only one that matters, trying to kill an innocent girl who's done nothing to deserve it…

Oh, and seeing her as a means to an end instead of an actual person.

I'm not normally one for unnecessary violence, but I really wanna punch this General in the face, hard and repeatedly.

"Hey." Kamon moves in front of me and tilts my chin up, allowing me to meet his gaze. "I'm here. Don't let him get to you."

I press my forehead against his chest and let his arms encircle me. I can feel the exhaustion catching up with me, which isn't surprising. We've been fighting since last night; since the Knights attacked us on patrol. Then there was Kamon getting hurt, the worry that Buffy and Spike were dead…

"Buffy, General Custer's coming around," Spike announces.

Buffy, who's been making sure her family are OK, walks over to where the General is tied to a chair. I pull out of my husband's embrace and walk over to join her.

"Are the ropes tight enough?" Xander asks.

"Saw to that personally," says Spike. "Having been tied up myself a number of times, I could say I have plenty of experience in the art of tying people up."

The General comes around slowly, and Buffy slaps his face to speed things alone. "Wake up. We don't have all day."

When the man finally opens his eyes, it takes him a moment to realize his predicament. He attempts to try and free himself, but Spike did a good job; he doesn't even budge. "Release me!"

"Why?" Buffy crosses her arms.

"I am General Gregor of the Knights of Byzantium. The Key must be destroyed. Such is the will of God." He turns his gaze and glares at Dawn.

Joyce places herself in front of her daughter, fire axe in hand. "If you look at my baby girl like that again, I'll make you regret it."

"I'd listen to her, mate," says Spike. "She's deadly with that axe."

"And about that whole 'will of God' part," says Xander, "my best friend is a lesbian Wicca. Hundreds of years ago, people thought it was God's will to burn every witch they could find, and today people think that lesbians will burn in hell, by God's will. Willow and Tara deserve neither of those things, so I'm not sure I trust what people say is 'God's will'. And trying to kill a _kid_ should've raised some red flags, dude."

"Do all of you have thick skulls?" Buffy slaps Gregor upside the head. "I told the first guys you sent that Glory is dead. The Beast is gone. There's no need for you to destroy the Key in order to stop her. But did you listen? No, instead you had to charge into _my_ town, on a pointless crusade to kill my little sister. You're all a bunch of _idiots_!"

"We know the Beast is dead!" he shouts. "Our mission was to stop _you_ from using the Key!"

His words are followed by silence, and I exchange a confused glance with Buffy.

"Are you off your bloody rocker?" It's Spike's turn to slap Gregor. "The Slayer is a symbol of all that's good in this bloody world. Why would the chit wanna end it?"

"That is what I was told," says Gregor. "When Orlando came to us with news that the Beast was dead, we had our seers verify this. Upon learning that it was true, we disbanded. Merely a day after this, I received word that the Slayer had become a vampire, and intended to use the Key for herself; to bring about the end of everything. There was no time to re-summon the entire order and discuss the matter with the other Generals, so I gathered the men under my command and we came to stop you. I commanded a hundred men into battle. And now they are all dead."

"Me," I realize. "Whoever told you this… They were talking about me. But I'm not a vampire."

"And this can't be a coincidence," says Buffy. She turns back to Gregor. "The people who told you this… Were they from England?"

His eyes widen. "How can you know such things?"

When Kamon and I were on the run at the beginning, I would always dread the Council finding us. Now it just annoys me whenever they manage to track us down. Can they really not just leave me in peace? Let me live my life, away from the people who tried to kill me?

Kamon moves past me and pushes the tip of his staff against Gregor's throat. "You were lied to," he says. "Kiri is no vampire. You led your men into battle based on a _lie_."

"You guys verified Glory's death. Couldn't you have sent scouts to verify _this_?" says Buffy. "You nearly killed everyone I care about because a British guy in a suit, who you don't even know, _told you to_?! I'm not a vampire, and neither is Kiri! And we don't have any plans to end the world! If anyone ends the world, it'll be stupid people like _you_!"

"Are there any more Knights coming?" asks Anya, who's been silent up until now.

Gregor holds his head a little higher. "When I send word to them, they will come and avenge their fallen brethren, and destroy the Key. The Beast is not the only threat in this world; more will come to claim the Key for themselves, to bring about chaos and destruction. The Key must be destroyed. Such is the will of God."

"Buffy." Joyce beckons her eldest daughter over. When Buffy crosses the room to her, she says, "Cover Dawn's eyes."

She then strides forward and swings her axe at Gregor's head. Buffy manages to cover her sister's eyes in time. The beheading is a clean cut, and the General's head falls to the floor and rolls under the table.

The action is followed by silence.

Buffy breaks it. "Xander, I need you to drive to the hospital and find Giles and Willow. When Tara's released, you guys should bring her back to my house. We need to stay together, and my house is big enough to hold us all. We're not safe on our own. The Council tried to kill us, and they'll try again."

"I can confirm that," I say. Kamon wraps an arm around me, and I lean against him.

I'm not worried about me. I've been on the run from the Council for eighteen years; I'm used to it. I'm worried about the people – my friends – who will get caught in the crossfire. If the Council don't care about the casualties piling up, then how can they still call themselves the good guys?

* * *

Mom opens the door to let in Xander, Willow, Tara and Giles. Tara's left arm is in a cast and being held by a sling, and there's a bandage around her shoulder. She looks shaken by what happened, but at least she's alive.

Spike gets up from the armchair so Tara can sit down, and I send him a smile. He smiles in return.

"Help yourselves to food and drinks if you need any," says Mom. Those of us who came here first have already eaten. And it's a good thing Mom likes Spike enough to keep blood here for him, or else the two vamps would've had to have gone elsewhere to get some.

"We've been eating snacks from the vending machines at the hospital," says Xander. "Except for Giles. He had some of that disgusting coffee they serve."

"I may need to wash my mouth out with a good cup of tea," says my Watcher.

"We should rest for a few hours," I say. "There's a cot in the basement, and someone can take the couch…" It's only just occurring to me that while my house is the biggest out of all our homes, there aren't really enough beds for all of us.

"Willow and Tara can have my bed," Dawn speaks up. "Tara needs it more than I do. I slept in Mom's bed with her when she was sick; I can do it again."

Tara smiles weakly. "Thanks, Dawnie."

I turn to Kamon and Kiri. "You guys should take the cot downstairs. You both look dead on your feet. Uh, no offence, Kamon."

"None taken." He winks.

"And we've slept on worse, but thank you," says Kiri.

"Anya and I can take the couch," says Xander. It looks like Anya is about to protest, but for the first time in _ever_, thinks better of it and keeps her mouth closed.

Giles sighs. "The armchair will suit me fine. But I intend to take the first watch; someone needs to stay awake in case the Council strikes again."

"Are you sure?" I ask him. "I was thinking about taking the first watch myself."

"Buffy, Xander informed me that you were poisoned last night," he says. "And this morning you have been fighting for your life. You need the rest more than I do. Besides, I always wait up for you while you patrol; I'm used to functioning on little to no sleep. I'll have myself a cup of tea, and I'll be fine."

I smile at him. "Thanks, Giles."

"Buffy, what about Spike?" Dawn asks. She crosses her arms and glares at me, like she's warning me not to treat him like he's a thing who doesn't need a bed.

I already know where he's going to sleep, but I haven't said anything yet because I don't know how everyone will react. I'm tired, I'm cranky; I wanna go to bed. The last thing I need is my loved ones ganging up on me over my dating choices. And while I'm suspecting there won't be as much resistance as I'm fearing…

Actually, I don't care. If they don't like it, they're gonna have to deal with it.

I grab Spike's sleeve, and in a tone of voice that leaves no room for argument, I say, "He's sleeping in my bed, with me." Then I pull him up the stairs before anyone can say anything more.

When we reach the top of the stairs, I worry that I may have gone a step too far. But then I see Spike's stunned look, and that makes it worth it.

"Buffy…?"

"Oh, I'm sorry!" I lead him into my room and shut the door behind us. "I didn't even ask if this is what you wanted-"

He cuts me off by pressing me against the door and kissing me like I'm the air he needs to breathe. I'm briefly reminded of Kamon kissing Kiri in the same way, but the thought goes as quickly as it comes, and my head is only filled with Spike. Mmm, lips of Spike…

I break the kiss – because while _he_ may not need to breathe, I definitely do – and he says, "Don't apologize. Wanted this. Too afraid to ask."

"How about I stop apologizing so long as you stop being afraid?" I say. "And just to clarify, we're only sleeping. I think we might scar everyone for life if they hear us boinking in here."

"Doubt Demon Girl would care."

"_Obviously_."

We share a chuckle.

"Want me to keep to my side, then?" he asks.

I kick my shoes off and walk over to the bed. I'm too tired to change into anything comfy. "Actually, I was hoping you could just…hold me?"

He looks surprised by my request, before he sends me a smile. "Yeah. I can do that."

I sit on the bed and pat the right side, closest to the window. He takes off his coat and red shirt, then kneels down to unlace his boots. He keeps his jeans and black t-shirt on (my sleepy brain wonders if these are the only clothes he owns or if he has several sets of identical clothing) and slowly walks towards me, before hesitantly lying on the bed beside me. I rest my head on his shoulder, and he wraps his arms around me.

We don't speak, but I'm pretty sure he's purring.

This is the first time I've felt safe with a guy in my bed, I realize. I can admit now that I never felt safe with Angel, not really. I always feared I'd wake up to an empty bed and discover Angelus roaming around Sunnydale trying to kill my friends again – or worse, I'd wake up and find him looming over me, ready to drain me dry.

I hadn't known Parker well enough to feel safe with him.

I didn't even feel safe with Riley, who was _supposed_ to be the safe option. Though now I can understand why, after getting a better perspective on the relationship.

Spike makes me feel safe. It shouldn't work, but it does, and I'm so glad.

It's probably why it doesn't take me very long to fall asleep.

* * *

Bloody hell.

This is the best day of my life.

Buffy's giving me a chance; an _actual_ chance. She isn't hiding our relationship from her loved ones. And now in a show of trust that nearly makes me weep with joy, she's curled up in my arms, fast asleep.

She's not the only one sleeping; her family and all her mates are too, with the exception of the Watcher. I can hear their heartbeats, telling me they're safe. I can't tell if Kamon is sleeping, but Kiri is.

I wonder if he's asleep too, or is awake and holding his lady like me.

With Buffy next to me, I don't sleep. But I doze, keeping my senses open in case danger comes knocking. Not that I don't trust the Watcher, but I doubt he'll stand much of a chance if the Council decides to send a Fyral demon to come trash the place. Unless he's got a bit of Fyral left in him from when _he_ was turned into one.

It's dark when something sets off my vamp senses. I'm still dozing, so I can't focus properly on what it is.

Until it appears next to Buffy's window.

Angelus.

"_Spike_."

His warning growl wakes me right up. I shift into my vamp face and crouch in front of Buffy. I'm not letting the sod take her, not now when everything's going right for me.

* * *

My Slayer senses wake me up.

They tell me there's a vampire nearby. No duh, I fell asleep next to Spike. Of course there's a vampire near me. Then I realize my senses a telling me there're _two_ vampires, right here in my room, and I know Kamon wouldn't come in here without knocking.

It's the growls that really wake me.

I open my eyes in time to witness Spike launch himself from the bed. I manage to catch a glimpse of the vampire he's aiming for, outside my window: Angel.

Oh my god. Does he really not know how _phones_ work?

Spike collides with Angel and sends him flying backwards. I hear branches snapping and a loud thud as he hits the ground, and I know he didn't have an unfortunate accident with a twig, because I can still sense him. Spike looks ready to throw himself after him, so I leap off the bed and hurry to his side.

"Spike, wait!" I pull him away from the window.

He rolls his eyes. "Are you really gonna defend your ex-honey?"

I stop myself from getting angry. Angel, souled and un-souled, probably fuelled a lot of Spike's insecurities, and if I yell at him for it, it'll only make things worse. And I really don't want my first fight with Spike (as a boyfriend; we've had plenty of fights before now) to be about my ex.

"No," I tell him. "I wanna deal with him myself. He's the reason I acted like a bitch to you. It's about time I burn the bridge between me and him, because that rickety old thing has been condemned for a lot longer than I was willing to let myself see."

He smirks. "That mean you gonna set him on fire, pet?"

"That's _so_ not what I meant." I roll my eyes. "But I think I'm gonna punch him repeatedly until he gets the message. Wanna watch?"

"Did you even have to bloody ask?"

I climb out the window, and Spike follows. We scale the tree down, and by the time we set our feet on the ground, Angel has picked himself up and is wearing his vamp face. We're not the only ones outside; Giles is watching us from the porch, and Mom's standing in the doorway. Everyone else barring Kiri and Kamon are in the living room, watching the show out the window.

I wonder where Kiri and Kamon are, because I'm curious about how Angel will react to them.

"Buffy." Angel holds his hand out to me. "Come to me. I need to get you away from Spike. You're in danger."

"And why do you need to do that?" I fold my arms across my chest. "I'm always in danger, Angel. It's kinda part of the job description of being the Slayer, and I don't need you showing up to protect me all the time. I've handled Spike in the past, and I can handle him now."

"Looked more like you were sleeping next to him, from where I was standing," he snarls.

"OK, can I just say? Watching me sleep through my bedroom window is really creepy," I tell him. "The fact that you did it when I was sixteen makes it even creepier."

He loses his vamp face and stares at me in confusion. Like he can't believe I'm not doing what he tells me to do and falling into his arms. "I was protecting you."

I bark out a laugh. "Yeah, sure you were. Because giving me cryptic warnings and disappearing for a month was protecting me…how? And I say again, because you clearly didn't hear me the first time: I'm the Slayer, Angel. I don't _need_ the protection, especially from you."

"You're sleeping next to William the Bloody, so I think you _do_!" He looks past me towards the porch. "You're letting your Slayer near _Spike_?!"

"I'm not _letting_ her do anything, Angel," says Giles, his voice calm. "She may be my Slayer, but what she chooses to do with her life is none of my concern. She doesn't belong to me – and contrary to what you may believe, she doesn't belong to you, either."

Angel growls. "None of you understand the danger she's in! Cordelia had a vision; she saw Buffy lying helpless on the ground with Spike standing over her. He's going to kill her, and you're going to _let_ him?!"

His description sounds familiar, and I quickly realize why. "Well, Cordelia needs to get better at interpreting her visions, because Spike wasn't the enemy. What she saw has already happened. There were these Knights trying to kill us, and they hit me with a dart filled with poison. They paralyzed me. They would have killed me, but Spike got to me in time and he saved me. I'd be dead if it wasn't for him."

And there's that look of confusion again. It's actually kind of funny.

"Buffy, he saved you because he wants to kill you himself," he tries.

"I don't want to kill her anymore, Peaches," Spike speaks up. "I'm in love with her."

Angel stares at Spike like he's spontaneously sprouted wings, and then he laughs. Actually laughs. It's weird, because I don't think I've _ever_ heard Angel laugh. And that's one more reason to add to the 'Angel never loved me' pile, because I'm pretty sure couples are supposed to laugh together. Back then I thought not laughing was a sign of maturity, but I've already accepted that I was really naïve at that age.

"Seriously? The Slayer of Slayers falling in love with a _Slayer_? And it wasn't enough for you to chase Drusilla; you had to go after Buffy, too? Do you have some sort of obsession with slurping my seconds?"

And _wow_, that's a really deep cut. It sounds like something Angelus would say, and after everything I've learned? I'm really not surprised.

"It's true," I say. "He's proven it many times over, and up until recently, I wouldn't let myself see it."

He stops laughing and looks between us. "You actually _believe_ him?! Buffy, you're not thinking straight. If you were, you'd remember that demons can't love without their souls."

"Oh really? Then why did you attack me in a jealous rage?"

Angel looks behind me, and his eyes widen. "Kinslayer?! What are _you_ doing here?!"

I turn to look. Kamon and Kiri are standing on the porch next to Giles, and neither of them look happy to see Angel. Don't blame them; last time they met, Angel attacked Kamon and tried to drink from Kiri.

"We came to help Buffy," says Kiri. "And you _know_ demons can love without a soul. You _know_ they can choose to be good. You were jealous, and angry at yourself, because Kamon could do all those things without needing his soul, while you needed to be cursed with yours."

"And even then," Spike adds, "you refused to get off your bloody backside and help people until you got a hard on for a fifteen-year-old girl in a miniskirt."

"Which is why I'm keeping Dawn inside," I say. "If you even _think_ about doing to Dawn what you did to me, I'll carve a stake bigger than me, set it on fire, and ram it through your chest."

"Buffy, I would never-" He cuts himself off, his eyes darting between me and the other Slayer on the porch. "They're lying to you, Buffy! Who do you believe? The love of your life, or two people you barely know?"

"You're not the love of my life, Angel. Not anymore," I tell him. "_You_ were the one that lied to me. You told me that you never hurt anyone after you were cursed with your soul, but I've got two words for you, pal: Sam Lawson."

His eyes go wide, before he turns to Spike. "You _told_ her?!"

"You're seriously angry that Spike told me about the guy you sired and then didn't stake after he was no longer useful? How many people has he killed, Angel? How many lives are on _you_ because you let him walk?" He doesn't have an answer for that, so I continue. "You lied to me; you manipulated me. You took advantage of how young and naïve I was back then. And I _was_ naïve to fall for someone like you. But I've grown up, so you need to stop treating me like an incompetent child who can't make her own decisions, and needs to be protected. I'll say it one more time for clarity: I'm the goddamn _Slayer_. If you think I need to be protected, then you don't think very highly of me, and you _definitely_ don't love me."

"I _do_ love you!"

"If you did, you would have still loved me when you lost your soul," I tell him.

"Demons can't-"

"Don't give me that bullshit again!" I yell. "If soulless demons can't love, Spike would have killed me in the Sunset Club. But he _didn't_, because I threatened to kill Drusilla if he didn't let me and those kids go! He did that because he loved her! If he couldn't love, he wouldn't have cared if I staked her. Hell, he wouldn't have been there _at all_! The reason he came here was to heal her, to make her better again. _Because he loved her_. I believed he loved her. But then you had to go and lose your soul, and I was so broken by what happened that you easily manipulated me into believing what you wanted me to believe – that demons _couldn't_ love without a soul, when the truth was, you didn't love me at all. That stupid, ignorant mindset nearly got my mother _killed_! Spike saved her life, and I almost stopped him because I refused to believe that he had feelings. My mother almost _died_, all because you told me a pack of lies to make sure I'd never stop loving you. You're just a selfish, self-absorbed _asshole_!"

"Buffy, please, listen to me! You're making a mistake by trusting him. Spike's using you for his own gain-"

He's still trying to…? "Oh my god, have you turned into a _brick wall_?! Stop acting like you know better than me, because from where I'm standing, you know jack _shit_. And stop acting like I can't make my own decisions! You shouldn't even _be_ here! You chose to walk away, and when you did, you forfeited the right to have any say in my life. Leaving me doesn't mean you get to show back up again and stalk me behind my back whenever you goddamn feel like it. I don't belong to you, Angel. I'm not your soulmate. We're not destined for each other. Believing that we were was a childish fantasy, and I'm over that."

"But…" He's giving me the kicked puppy look, the one that used to melt my heart all the time. Now it just looks kind of pathetic. And really manipulative. "That's why the Powers sent me to you. That's why they brought us together. We're meant to be."

I raise my eyebrows. "Meant to be? You turned evil and I was forced to kill you. Then when you were brought back from Hell, you left me for my own good – which was honestly a _really_ a thinly-veiled excuse, covering for the fact that you were just frustrated that you couldn't sleep with me. Also, the fact that you wanted to sleep with me so badly you didn't care if you lost you soul again? Majorly disturbing. And also proves that you didn't love me. That desire is _lust_, nothing more. Maybe you thought you loved me; maybe you thought that if you played the hero long enough, you'll get me as a reward. Which is really, _really_ sexist by the way. But when your soul went away, you had no desire to be good, so any kind of feelings you had for me went away with it."

"I left because I needed to atone for everything I'd done, especially to you," he says. I wonder if he heard anything that came out of my mouth. "But there's hope, Buffy. There's a prophecy that speaks of a vampire with a soul, who fights in a great battle for the good of the world. And when the battle is won, he earns life in return for his servitude. Don't you see? There won't be a curse standing between us; we can be together again."

I can only stare. Just when I thought he couldn't say anything stupider… "So, you expected me to, what? Wait around until you became a real boy?" The look he gives me says it all. "You are _unbelievable_! You told me I needed to find myself a normal guy so I could have a normal life – which was something _you_ wanted, and you never even thought to ask if that was what _I_ wanted! But I went out there, and I found someone normal. Riley and I fell apart because I was deluding myself into believing that my life could ever be normal. But let's just say things worked out between him and me. Let's say I got married and had kids with him. We're you just expecting me to up and leave him and the kids because you came knocking on my door?"

He actually has the gall to look confused. "But wouldn't you _want_ to be with me?"

Yep. He actually went there. "You are- UGH! This isn't about me! It's all about _you_ and what _you_ want! I'm not a Princess locked in a tower, waiting for you to finish being a hero and come claim me as a bride! I'm not some pure and delicate little girl that you need to smother in bubble wrap! And I'm not a trophy you'll get as a reward for being a good boy! You don't love me; you're just obsessed with me, like you were obsessed with all of your victims! It makes me sick that I didn't want to let go of what we had, and I want to kick myself for holding onto you for so long. I didn't want to let go because I thought if the love wasn't real, then everything that happened would have been for nothing. I was scared of facing the truth: that my first love was a lie. But I've learned my lesson. I deserve more than a shadow of love, and that was all you gave me." I reach my hand out, and Spike takes it. "I know what actual love looks like, and I'm ready to experience it for real."

Angel takes one look at our joined hands, and he vamps out before charging at us with a roar.

Spike doesn't move, and I understand why; he's letting me take this one. I step forwards to meet my ex, and my fist collides with his face. I throw all my strength into it, and it sends him to the ground. Then, just to make sure he doesn't get back up again, I kick him in the balls. He lets out a painful yelp and clutches his crotch.

"Buffy?"

I turn to Spike, and see the glint in his eyes. "Oh, go on, then."

He smirks, steps forwards, and kicks Angel in the ribs.

"That's for twenty _bloody_ years of treating me like dirt." Then he spits on Angel's shirt and steps back to me.

"Is that it?" I ask.

"Don't wanna waste time on him," he replies.

I look back at Angel, and I make sure he's paying attention before I start talking again. "The normal life you claimed to want for me was never gonna happen. And you becoming human would still make us a so-called "freak show". Look at Kiri. Do you notice anything about her?"

He looks past me towards the older Slayer. "She looks the same."

"Exactly," I tell him. "She's thirty-six years old, but she looks the same age as me. That's because Slayers don't age. Normal isn't in the cards for me, and I'll never retire, so if you ever earn that human life you've been promised? Don't come looking for me. I've embraced my freakdom. I'm the Slayer, and my life is my own. You don't own me, Angel. My will is as strong as yours, and my kingdom as great. You have no power over me."

Angel gets to his feet, and _finally_, I see understanding in his eyes. Along with defeat. He knows he's lost me.

"You're not the Buffy I remember."

I roll my eyes. "Oh, go fuck yourself, Angel."

"He should," says Spike. "Only person he'll ever be happy with is himself."

From inside, I hear Xander roaring with laughter.

After one last longing look at me, Angel turns and stalks away into the night, leaving my life for good.


	14. Chapter 14: Checkpoint

**Chapter Notes**: Yes, this is the last chapter. I'm as surprised as you are. But when I started writing this story, I had two goals in mind: break through Buffy's denial, and get her in a relationship with Spike. I've achieved both, so now I'm just tying up loose ends.

* * *

_Right now, I'm in a state of mind _

_I wanna be in like all the time…_

~ _No Tears Left to Cry_ by Ariana Grande

* * *

"Whoo-hoo! Go Buffy!"

I hear Dawn cheering inside as Spike and I walk back to the house, hand-in-hand. "Sorry my stupid ex disturbed everyone," I say as I walk through the door.

"Most of us were awake already," says Giles.

"And why would I want to sleep through that?" says Xander with a big grin on his face. I'm not surprised _he_ enjoyed the show; he's hated Angel from day one.

"You should have let me hit him," says Kamon to no one in particular. "I've been waiting for a chance to get my hands on him again."

Spike makes a noise of agreement. "Should've staked him when you first met him. Would've saved everyone a lot of trouble."

"Guys." I sigh. "As much as I really hate to admit it, staking him back then probably would've led to bad things. Like, apocalyptic bad. There were times when he was actually useful here. It didn't happen very often, but…"

"And he's doing some good in LA, like I said to you before, Kamon," says Kiri. "But we should keep an ear on the ground in case he does something un-Champion like. Even with his soul, he seems like someone who could slip up really easily."

"I'll let you guys handle that," I tell the two of them. "I just want Angel out of my life, period."

Xander clears his throat. "How about we stop talking about Angel and talk about something else instead? Like food. I'm starving. Everyone in favour of ordering pizza and doughnuts?"

Everyone raises their hands. Even Mom and Giles, who aren't usually into fast food.

"You make the call, Xander," I tell him, "since you know what everyone likes. Meanwhile, I've been wearing these clothes for twenty-four hours now, so I'm gonna go shower and change."

Dawn turns her nose up at me. "I was wondering what that smell was."

"Really? I thought it was your bratty attitude." I run up the stairs to avoid the pillow she throws at my head.

* * *

Kamon follows me into the kitchen when I go to refill my drink. He doesn't say anything; he just leans against the threshold and watches me with his hands linked in front of him.

I sigh and put my glass down. "You think we should leave?"

"No. I think that's the first time in years you've misread me," he says. "I think we should stay and fight."

I turn and frown at him. "Why?"

He walks over to me. "You're tired of this; tired of all this running. And honestly, so am I. We can't run forever."

"I'm just worried…" I look towards the living room where our new friends are laughing together and eating. "I don't want them getting caught in the crossfire."

"These are good people. They fight the good fight," he says. "And it's their fight as much as it is ours, because in case you forgot, Buffy is the Slayer, too." He reaches out and cups my cheek, his thumb gently stroking my skin.

"I know." I cover his hand with my own. "And you're right. It's time to stop running. I'm not saying I hated the travelling, but… I want to go places because I want to go there, and stay there for as long as I like. And I wanna go home, back to Auckland. I'm sure you wanna go back to your home in Thailand, too."

"Home is wherever you are."

I smile. He can be such a sentimental dork sometimes.

We hear someone coming, and pull apart before Buffy enters the kitchen. She pauses when she sees us. "Were you guys having a moment? I can leave, if…?"

"No, it's OK," I assure her. "We were just talking."

Buffy nods, then looks Kamon up and down. "Is that, like, the only outfit you own? Is wearing that leather armour even comfortable?"

My husband rolls his eyes while I laugh. "That was one of the first questions I asked him after we left New Zealand," I tell her. "I keep telling him he stands out like a sore thumb, and for two people on the run-"

"That's why we go to the stranger places," Kamon says. "We went to Portland, and I wasn't even in the running for the strangest outfit."

"He thinks it makes him look sexy," I add.

"I _know_ it does. I also know you agree." He wiggles his eyebrows at me.

It's my turn to roll my eyes. "Don't you have a vamp buddy to go and sit next to?"

"You're telling me to leave because you know I'm right. Typical deflection." But he leaves, giving me a parting wink as he does.

Buffy walks over to me, also intending to refill her empty glass. "If he's that annoying all the time, I don't understand why you haven't staked him yet. My only working theory is because he's totally hot."

"That, and he's good in bed."

We share a giggle.

"Speaking of," Buffy begins, "when you're both snuggled in bed, does Kamon…purr?"

I smile. "He does. He denied it when he first did it, but his denial didn't last long."

"Spike held me," she says. "And he purred. I didn't want to comment, in case he stopped doing it. I wasn't sure if it was just a Spike thing…"

"Angel didn't purr, did he?"

"Nope. Discovering things Angel never did with me isn't even surprising anymore."

There's a sudden knock at the front door. Buffy goes still beside me, and the living room falls quiet.

Buffy opens a cupboard, reaches inside and pulls out an axe. I'm not surprised she's got weapons hidden everywhere, and I wonder how many are dotted around the house. She walks to the front door, and I follow behind in case she needs backup.

She opens the door, grabs the woman standing outside and hauls her in. Slamming the door shut with her foot, Buffy pins the guest against the wall. "Who are you? Did the Council send you?"

I can see why Buffy would assume this woman is from the Council. She's dressed in tweed, a pair of glasses are perched on her face, and her blonde hair is tied up in a neat bun.

The woman holds her hands up in surrender. "Miss Summers, I assure you, I am not your enemy!"

Giles walks into the hallway and his eyes widen when he beholds the uninvited guest. "Lydia? Lydia Chalmers?"

Buffy turns her head to her Watcher. "You know her?"

"She's part of Quentin Travers's inner circle."

Quentin Travers. The current Chairman at the head of the Council. And from what I've heard, just as bad as the men who came before him.

"You work with Travers?" Buffy turns her attention back to the woman. "And that doesn't make you our enemy…_how_?"

"We needed someone to keep a close eye on him!" she claims, her tone begging. "I'm part of a resistance movement within the Council, working towards overthrowing its tyrannical rule. For hundreds of years, the Council has lost its way, putting its own anti-demon agendas above fighting evil and saving the world. The resistance wants to restore the Council to what it once was: a force for good."

"Resistance?" I question. I've never heard of any resistance. But then again, I've been on the run from every aspect of the Council. I wouldn't be in a position to know about it.

Buffy turns back to her Watcher. "Giles, do you buy any of this?"

"I have proof." Lydia slips her hand into her pocket and removes a folded piece of paper, which she hands to Giles.

He takes it and starts reading. After half a minute of silence, Giles removes his glasses and walks back into the living room, sinking into the armchair with his head in his hands.

"Buffy, release her. She's telling the truth."

Everyone in the living room starts talking, trying to be heard. But it's Buffy who's the loudest.

"What?" Despite her reluctance, Buffy releases Lydia, and the woman quickly straightens herself out. "Giles, what does it say?"

"Everyone, quiet!" Joyce shouts. The room falls silent.

"It's addressed to me, and its contents are rather…personal," he replies. "All you need to know is that the letter is from my grandmother. This is her penmanship, and it's impossible to fake."

"The resistance has existed within the Council for centuries, but we were leaderless," says Lydia. "Scattered, divided, and small. It was Edna Giles who made the resistance what it is today."

Giles sighs. "She never told me."

"Because your father was a firm supporter in the ways the Council has changed," Lydia continues. "Edna didn't want to risk her son finding out by telling you. And after your stint with Eyghon and your determination to prove yourself to the Council, we were uncertain if you could be trusted – until you were fired. We never made ourselves known until now because of Buffy's reluctance to have anything to do with any part of the Council."

"Hey, I would've been all for a rebellion," says Buffy. "But why did Nanna Giles do this? Because I don't think she suddenly woke up one day and decided she wanted to topple the patriarchy for fun."

Lydia points at me. "Because of her."

"Me?" I take a step back. Kamon moves across the room and stands beside me, taking my hand.

"Edna uncovered what really happened that night in Auckland," Lydia explains. "And with it she uncovered the true purpose of the Cruciamentum. That day, she realized that the Council had become just as bad as the evil they're supposed to be fighting. They only wish to protect humans, and have no love for the benign demons of the world. They use their Slayers as nothing more than cannon fodder, not even caring for their wellbeing and not even considering them as people. What happened to you, Kiri, opened the eyes of not just Edna, but many young Watchers."

I don't have any words. For years I just assumed everyone in the Council were all the same barring a few (like Buffy and Giles). And for all that time, I believed they only thought of me as a nameless face; just one of many girls to be forgotten about.

But I'm not just another face. I'm not one insignificant girl in a crowd of thousands like me. Not only am I remembered, but without even knowing it, I've started a revolution.

"And that is why you joined the resistance, Lydia?" Giles asks.

"I have more personal reasons," she says. "My father was a Watcher, and he was given a charge to raise and train. A Potential Slayer. Bethany. She and I were raised together; we played together. She never went to school like I did; she was home-schooled. But that never made a difference to me. We were like sisters. And then…she turned twenty. The age range when a Slayer can be called is between fourteen and nineteen. When a Potential turns twenty, she is dismissed from the Council. Some are lucky; either they're still in contact with their family and return to them, or perhaps the Watcher adopts them as their own child, and they train to be Watchers themselves. But Bethany… The day she turned twenty, my father considered her a failure and refused to have anything more to do with her. He tossed her out onto the street, simply because she was no longer useful to the Council. She'd been orphaned at a very young age, and had no family to go to. She had no money, no qualifications, no home… She was starving when I found her. Without my father knowing, I gave her money and paid for her to take classes at a night school. Eventually she became a martial arts instructor, using her training to earn her way. But the thought that there are other girls out there, tossed away like…rubbish because they weren't chosen… I knew I had to fight to make the Council better."

"You go, sister," says Willow, clutching Tara's hand.

Anya nods in agreement. "I think Hallie's actually answered some vengeance wishes from Potential Slayers kicked out of their homes."

"Then why did you never mention that, honey?" Xander asks.

"Because you never like it when I talk about past vengeance," she replies. Xander looks guilty at that.

"Those poor girls…" Joyce wraps an arm around Dawn and pulls her close.

Having been shot in the chest by my own Watcher, I'm no longer shocked at hearing what other horrible things the Council has been doing. And I know in my heart that had I not been chosen, my Watcher would have done the same thing. He would have tossed me out and never looked back, simply because I wasn't useful to him anymore. I would have been fine; Rose or Ambrose would have looked after me. But Lydia's right; there are other girls out there who aren't as lucky.

How many have starved to death, because the Council doesn't care about what happens to them? And how many have survived their Cruciamentum and returned to their Watchers triumphant, only to be told they were supposed to die? How many of them have been killed by the Council, or by the hands of their own Watchers?

"This needs to end," I say in a deadly voice.

"Oh yeah," Buffy agrees. "And you know what? They act all high and mighty, but _we're_ the ones with the power. We're the ones fighting evil, while they're cozied up in their libraries drinking tea and reading stupid books nobody else cares about. If they had the power, they would've squashed us like insects years ago. That's what the test is really for, isn't it? To convince the Slayer that the Council are the ones with the power, so she doesn't figure out that _she's_ actually the one with all the power. Right?"

"Too bloody right," says Spike.

"I should say, that I came because Travers is already on his way here," Lydia says. "I managed to book an earlier flight. He…he intends to kill Kiri and Kamon, and Spike, and bring Buffy back under the Council's control."

Buffy scoffs. "_So_ not happening."

"How many people is he bringing?" Giles asks.

"Not including me but including himself, there are twelve in total," she replies. "Nine of them are just muscle. He has Phillip Markham and Nigel Suresh with him, but Nigel is one of us. Along with two of the other men."

"If they think they can come into _my_ town and try to order _me_ around…" Buffy smirks. "I'm not gonna let them set the rules, and I'm definitely not gonna let them control the playing field. So, how about we plan a little welcome party for them?"

Her gaze meets mine, and we share a grin.

* * *

We spend most of the night planning, and at some point, I say sorry to Lydia for pinning her up against the wall. She tells me not to worry; taking into account the relationship I've had with the Council, she doesn't blame me for having that reaction at all.

It's gone midnight when the phone rings. We're all about to turn in, wanting to get an early start since Lydia says the Council will be here tomorrow. I don't think it's them, but there's a little twinge of dread in my chest when I pick up the phone.

"Hello?"

"_What did you do to Angel?_"

Cordelia. I sigh with relief. "Has he given you his version of events? Because nine out of ten, he probably lied to you."

"_He hasn't told me anything,_" she says. "_He just stalked in without saying a word, and now he's locked himself in his room and refuses to come out._"

"Is he brooding?"

"_Are you seriously asking me that? Did he save you from Spike?_"

"OK, one: I can handle Spike. You don't need to send Angel to come and save me. And two: You really need to learn how to interpret your visions better, Cordy. Spike wasn't the danger. He was actually protecting me from the _real_ danger. It was a bunch of stupid Knights from a lamer version of the Round Table, by the way."

Cordelia is silent for a moment. "_Spike? Protecting you? Oh, that's what Harmony was talking about! She came here complaining about Spike dumping her because he's fallen in love with you, but I thought she was lying because it's not like she hasn't before about guys dumping her._"

"It's true," I tell her. And wow, I'm actually having girl talk with Cordelia Chase. Stranger things, though. It's the Hellmouth. Well, _I'm_ on it, anyway. "And I'm kinda sorta giving Spike a chance. That's part of the reason Angel's all broody. I also told him to stop poking his nose in my business, I don't need protecting because I'm the Slayer, he should stop treating me like a child who can't make my own choices-"

"_You basically read him the riot act?_"

"Basically. I also told him to stop holding out hope that we'll get back together. I'm not a trophy wife he'll get rewarded with when he finally earns his redemption."

"_I'd say it's about time you grew a spine and stopped making mooneyes at him. I think you're both better people when you're apart. Angel actually smiles these days._"

"Really?"

"_Not often. It's too weird. Anyway, I'll go nag him until he gets off his ass. We've got a whole list of clients who need our help._"

"OK." Cordelia doesn't sound like someone who'll let Angel walk all over her; even now she's not putting up with his crap. I used to be jealous of seeing them together, but maybe that's because they always…clicked better. And now, I'm totally OK with that.

"_I'm sorry about the vision. The Powers send them when someone needs our help. If you didn't need it, I'm not sure why they sent that one to me…_"

"Maybe they needed Angel to see I wasn't his anymore. That I never really was. And to give me some closure," I suggest.

She groans. "_The headache I got so isn't worth that._"

"Sorry." Before she hangs up, a thought comes to me. "Hey, is Wesley there? I need to ask him something."

I hear Cordelia screeching Wesley's name, and the former Watcher's babbled insistence that she not scream when he's right in the next room. "_Hello? Buffy?_"

"Hi, Wes. Sorry, but I'm cutting straight to the point. Did you know that the Cruciamentum was used by the Council to dispose of problematic Slayers?"

"_What?_" The genuine confusion in his voice fills me with relief. "_Buffy, what on Earth are you talking about? Why would the Council want to kill one of their own Slayers?_"

"If she stops listening to them and makes friends with demons," I say. "Look, there's a longer story behind this, but I can't really tell you until after tomorrow. Just… I'm glad you didn't know."

There's a moment of silence on the other end. "_Buffy, before I was…let go from the Council, I heard…talk. Rather disturbing talk, if you ask me. Talk of things I didn't think the Council was capable of. I dismissed it as rumour back then, but… Perhaps there was truth to it, if what you are suggesting is also true. And if that is the case, then I am glad that you and I are rid of them._"

"Thanks, Wes," I say. "You'll, err…probably understand what I'm talking about after tomorrow."

"_What happens tomorrow?_"

"Can't say. It's a secret."

* * *

I'm starting to wonder if Buffy already loves me, or is getting close to it. Because the job she's given me is bloody fantastic.

I'm the one who gets to take out King Tweed himself.

Well, not _kill_ him, but I'm gonna subdue him and make sure he doesn't escape. I hope he wore his brown tweed, because he's gonna need it.

The Magic Box is quiet as we wait to spring the ambush, and we don't have to wait long. The lady Watcher leads the other Watchers into the shop, and they all greet Rupert, who's stood behind the counter, one by one. Rupert feigns shock, and we all wait while the Watchers spread out, trying to show their superiority by covering every corner of the bleeding shop.

They don't even know that we've got them surrounded.

We have time to pick out our targets, going on the descriptions Lydia gave us. I lock my gaze on the balding grey-haired man in the centre of the shop, who's looking too bloody smug for his own good. I can't wait to wipe that grin off his face.

Rupert adjusts his glasses, and that's the signal.

I'm the fastest, so I move first. I sprint across the room as I vamp out, and I grab Quentin Poncy-Middle-Name Travers by the neck before pinning him against a wooden beam. The other Watchers turn, and the muscly ones aim their crossbows at me. But they can't fire; I've made sure of it, holding the Watcher in front of me. They'll have to shoot him if they wanna get to me.

Their hesitance gives everyone else a chance to strike. Kamon jumps down from the balcony, resizes his staff and wraps it around the neck of another bloke in tweed. Phillip, think Lydia said his name was. Kamon keeps the man in front of him, using him as a shield.

The rest of them get taken out one by one. The Wicca lovers create a rope out of magic and lasso it around one bloke, forcing him to drop his crossbow. Harris and his girl jump out from behind the stacks and attack another bloke; Demon Girl hits him over the head with a statue while Harris snatches the crossbow out of his hands. The pair of them then sit on his chest to keep him down and Harris points the crossbow at his head. Rupert grabs the one closest to him and convinces him to put the crossbow down by holding a knife to his back.

Lydia picks up the crossbow from the counter and points it at one of the blokes who only came armed with a stake. "Nigel."

The Indian bloke retrieves a crossbow from the floor and points it at another bloke holding a stake. Four men remain, and the two Lydia described to us, the ones on our side, quickly take out the two remaining lackeys.

The fight's over before it even started.

"Chalmers! Suresh! What on Earth are you doing?!" my hostage demands.

"The right thing," says the bloke.

"The Council has lost its way," says the lady Watcher. "But we shouldn't be the ones to tell you that."

I step away from the post, dragging the Watcher with me, and I turn him so he can see who's coming in from the training room.

Buffy and Kiri walk in, side-by-side, striding with confidence.

It's the most magnificent sight I've ever seen.

* * *

Unlike the last time I saw him, Travers actually looks afraid. Good. He should be.

"Before you start shouting out accusations," I begin, "Kiri isn't a vampire."

My Slayer sister gestures to her necklace. "I never have been. I get that you may have thought that at first, considering another Slayer was chosen, but I died and was revived. And after so many years of encountering me, you must have realized I was still alive. You first wanted me dead because I disobeyed you, but then you wanted me dead because I was living proof of how much power the Slayer really has."

"We have the power," I say. "You don't, and this bothers you. So you do everything you can to puff out your chest and make yourselves look high and mighty. You condition the Slayer to believe she can't fight you, and taking away her powers in that stupid test is just one of the ways you show this – when you're not trying to kill Slayers with it. That's what you were trying to do, not just to her, but to me, wasn't it? You wanted me dead because I'd fallen in love with a vampire, and you were afraid I was gonna fall in love with another. Well, the vamp holding you now, Quentin Travers, is currently my boyfriend. So there's a pretty good chance that might happen again."

That's not something I had to tell this guy, but the look of awe in Spike's eyes is _so_ worth it.

"This is-" He tries to object, but Spike slaps his hand over the man's mouth.

"Shut your trap, or I'll have your guts for garters!"

"Thanks, honey." I smile brightly. "Not only has the Council tried to kill me, but they also tried to kill a perfectly good Slayer, just because she didn't agree with your prejudiced mindset. You tried to kill us because you knew you couldn't control us; couldn't control our power. But you know what? This power isn't yours to control. You didn't give it to us; it was given to us by the Powers That Be. All you guys do is take advantage of it, of the Slayers, and use us for your own gain. You say you're using us to fight the war against evil, and once upon a time maybe that's what the Council stood for, but not anymore. Now, you stupid bigots are just as evil as the demons you hate; you're using us to wipe out every demon on this planet, even if they're not hurting anyone. Racist, much?"

Kiri takes a step closer to Travers. "I gave your Council my life. I went out every night and slayed evil, like I was trained to. And how do you thank me? By setting me up to die. And when that didn't work, the man who raised me put a bullet in my chest. I've been on the run for eighteen years because of you. Always looking over my shoulder, always wondering how long I'll get to stay in one place. But I kept going, because I had Kamon. We took care of each other, saved each other, made each other happy. He was the one who saved my life, when my Watcher shot me. What does that say about your Council, when a vampire has the moral high ground over you?"

"You don't treat us like people," I continue. "To you, we're just property. Property you can dispose of when we don't work like we're supposed to, or when we've outlived our usefulness. You kill Slayers who don't comply, and you toss out Potentials like trash when they're too old to be called. And you've never paid a single one of us for our services. Treating people this way is evil. It's _slavery_, which I'm pretty sure is illegal here, back in your home country, and in every civilized country in the world. This isn't the dark ages; these days, working women over the age of eighteen have a right to paid full-time employment and compensation. So, I suggest you guys either get with the times or get lost."

Travers makes a muffled sound, and Spike removes his hand, letting the man speak. "You need us."

"No, we really don't," I say. "I've been protecting the Hellmouth just fine these past two years without you. Giles only came for information that one time – and we didn't even need to do that, since Glory's dead now."

"And I haven't needed you for eighteen years," says Kiri.

"You're the ones who need us," I tell Travers. "It's pretty obvious that Watchers don't have a purpose without a Slayer to watch."

"This is insane!" Travers tries to struggle out of Spike's grasp, but he gets exactly nowhere. "When the rest of the Council hears about this-"

"Do you honestly think this is an isolated incident?" Lydia speaks up. "A resistance has been growing inside the Council, ever since Kiri Alatini was shot by Gregory Whitehall. We've become big enough to overthrow you and the old guard. It's time for the Council to return to how things used to be; when we were a force for good who helped the Slayer fight evil, be they human or demon."

"I received word this morning before we came here, that the Headquarters in London has been taken," says Nigel. "When we return to England, Mr. Travers, you and everyone who supports you will be locked away for crimes against Slayers, Potentials and the benign demons of the world. You have been relieved of your duties as Chairman of the Watchers Council."

* * *

The weight on my shoulders is gone. It wasn't heavy, and Kamon helped me carry it, but the difference is still noticeable.

I can go anywhere; do anything. I no longer have to worry about the Council coming after me. There will still be danger, because I'm a Slayer; demons will still want to kill me over something or other. But there's no longer a need to keep moving. Kamon and I can settle down somewhere for more than a month.

I can go home.

"Buffy, are you gonna take their deal?" Willow asks.

We're sat in the Bronze, celebrating our victory. Giles is speaking with Lydia and Nigel about being rehired, and Buffy's family is still at home (she convinced them not to be there for the showdown with Travers; Dawn was too young, and while Joyce could handle herself, she didn't need the added stress). It's just the eight of us; four couples enjoying a night out.

I'm so happy that Buffy isn't hiding her relationship with Spike. They're so adorable, with her sat on his lap, leaning her head on his shoulder while he plays with her hair.

"It sounds tempting," she says. "College is fine and all, but they're already pressuring me to pick a major, and nothing…interests me. But being a Slayer… It's who I am. If they're gonna pay me for that, might as well, you know? And this new Council is making all the right moves; Lydia's plan for Potentials who don't get chosen sounds awesome. There's also something I want them to do."

"What's that?" asks Xander.

"Release Faith," she says. "Now, before you guys blow up at me… The reason she's in jail is because she's trying to atone for what she's done. But she's a Slayer; what's the point of having a sacred duty if you're locked up in jail? And with everything that's been happening and all the stuff I've been learning… I can't help but feel that I let her down. What happened was an accident; she didn't mean to kill that guy, and I was so worried about my part in it and caught up in my own guilt that I wasn't there for her. I didn't help her. So, I'm gonna ask Lydia to get her released, give her a Watcher and set her up on her own Hellmouth. Maybe Cleveland?"

"I don't mind, as long as she's far away from us," says Willow. She winces. "Sorry, I still have issues. And that sounded pretty dark… Am I gonna be OK?"

"I promised to contact Neve, and I will," I tell her.

Tara squeezes her girlfriend's hand. "You'll be fine."

"Or she'll turn into a magic bomb and kill us all." We all stare at Anya, and she shrugs. "Just saying."

"Maybe Neve can help Amy, as well," Willow continues. When Kamon and I exchange a frown, she adds, "She's a witch, too. She kinda got herself turned into a rat a while back, and couldn't turn herself back. Tara and I have been trying to find a way to get her back to normal, but we've come up with zilch."

"Your friend has been a rat all this time?" Kamon raises his eyebrows.

"I'm sure Neve can help with that, too," I assure her.

"Should get the girl some therapy, too," says Spike. "If the girl's been a rat for years, she's gonna need it."

Changing the subject, Buffy asks, "What about you, Kiri? Are you gonna take their deal?"

"I don't know," I admit. "On the one hand, there's a lot of bad blood between us, even though the Watchers in charge now aren't the same ones responsible for what happened to me. I also haven't needed them for eighteen years, and the idea of getting a Watcher at my age doesn't sit right. But on the other hand, I'll be getting paid. I've been relying on Kamon all this time, and it'll be nice to have my own income."

He kisses my forehead. "You know I don't mind providing for you. Or would you like to be an independent woman now?"

"Don't be offended," says Willow. "Girl power's all the range right now."

I giggle. "I'll be independent only in a money sense. I still have every intention of staying married to you."

"Good to hear it."

"And don't take this the wrong way you guys," Buffy speaks again, "but how much longer are you staying for? Because it'll be great if you could stay for a little longer. It'll be fun! My birthday's coming up soon, and you could meet Faith when she gets out of prison… And…maybe I want you guys to stay because I was a total bitch to you when you first got here, and I wanna spend more time with you when I'm _not_ a bitch."

I send her a reassuring smile. "It's OK, Buffy. No hard feelings. And I want to go back to Auckland, but…" I look at Kamon. "It won't hurt to stay here a bit longer, right?"

"That's fine with me." He smiles, and he looks way too kissable for me to resist.

* * *

"Do you think I should?"

I turn and realize that my little Slayer has stopped walking and is staring up at the moon. "Should what? If it's 'lay down and let me make love to you', then yes. You should."

She giggles. I'll never get tired of hearing that beautiful sound. "No, I mean… The deal the Council gave me. Do you think I should take it?"

"It's up to you." I re-cross the distance between us and hold out my hand, which she takes. "Are you worried they'll try and hurt you again? Because if you are, I am too." My free hand comes up to remove the stray hair hanging over her eyes. "Which sounds ridiculous. Lydia and Nigel are good people; I can tell. They don't give me the same bad feelings your Watcher did."

"Only because they were basically hero-worshiping you, oh mighty Kinslayer."

I chuckle. "That helps, yes. But I'm serious. If you're worried, you're not alone in that."

"I am, but not as much as I feel like I should be. Which sounds stupid and silly, but I can't help it." She sighs. "We help people now, but if I take their deal, I can help so many more. And not just normal people; I can help Potential Slayers. And while I don't like the idea of having a Watcher again, I'll be fine with having some kind of Council liaison close by in case of emergencies."

"Like I said, it's up to you," I tell her. "Though I wouldn't mind helping some Potential Slayers."

She raises an eyebrow at me. "So they can hero-worship you, too? You'll find yourself with a fan club very quickly."

"I'm not hearing a downside." She gives me a playful slap, and I chuckle. "I'm kidding! But in all seriousness, I'll be with you every step of the way."

"I don't know about that. I recall a time when you stuck me in a tree because you didn't want me around."

I pretend to think. "Yes, I remember. It started out like this." I grab her around her waist and sling her over my shoulder.

"Kamon! Put me down!"

I start walking, carrying her in the direction of the motel. "Not until we get to our room, my little Slayer. See, I remember mentioning something about laying you down and you letting me make love to you. Did you really think you could make me forget about that?"

She laughs all the way back to our room.

* * *

"Can you move in?"

Spike looks at me with a raised eyebrow, lifting his head off the bed a little. "Think your mum will have something to say about that, pet. Or she won't say anything and just come after me with an axe."

I raise my head, too. "What is it with you and your obsession with my mom wielding an axe?"

"If you saw the way she was looking at me that night, standing over me with that axe in her hand, you'd understand."

I roll my eyes and rest my head on his shoulder. "She likes you. She'll be fine with it. And if she needs extra convincing, I'll just tell her it's so you can keep an eye on her health."

"It'll also make it easier if you say I'm sleeping in the basement, and then at night I'll just sneak up here." He gestures to my room.

I giggle and snuggle closer to him. "Look at me. I'm a Slayer that might as well be immortal, snuggled up next to a vampire who used to be my mortal enemy. Things are never gonna be the same again, are they?"

"You mind?"

I think back to the girl I was before Kiri walked into the shop, and compare her to who I am now. Even though I didn't want to admit it, I was miserable before everything changed. Now, not so much.

"Nope. I'm who I wanna be, and right where I _want_ to be."

* * *

**End Notes**: I'd like to say a HUGE thank you to everyone who has read, liked and reviewed this story! And for anyone wondering if there'll be a continuation... Maybe. One day. Right now I have a few ideas, but only for a series of oneshots; some are set after the story and how Buffy and Spike's relationship develops with help from Kiri and Kamon, and some follow the adventures of Kiri and Kamon in the eighteen years before they come to Sunnydale. But if I ever end up writing these, it won't be for a long time. My muse needs a rest after I powered my way through this story.

Thanks again!


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